


Not His Style

by Tekuzumo



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Idiots in Love, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Jackson Wang, Some Humor, Stalking, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 72,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26160805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tekuzumo/pseuds/Tekuzumo
Summary: Jaebeom has a crush on Mark Tuan but Jackson Wang is the problem. Jackson never, leaves, his side. In an act of desperation, Jaebeom asks Jinyoung to go out with Jackson to keep him away from Mark. There's only one problem; Jackson isn't Jinyoung's ideal type.Wattpad Version
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB & Park Jinyoung, Im Jaebum | JB/Mark Tuan, Mark Tuan & Jackson Wang, Park Jinyoung/Jackson Wang
Comments: 218
Kudos: 254





	1. Boy Meets Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was previously written on one of my old (deleted) accounts, so if you recognize it, please enjoy the re-edit. This is my first work (that I probably won't take down) on AO3 and my first project in five years. Yes, I haven't written a story in five years. So I'm fairly rusty. Please forgive my crappy writing style (I'll get better eventually) and enjoy the story.

Jinyoung still remembers it as if it were yesterday. The exact day, time, and feeling of the mid-June sun shining high in the sky. The scent of freshly brewed coffee, Sharpie markers, and baked goods he and Jaebeom had ordered from the counter. Yes, this is a day he'll never forget for the rest of his life. The day his best friend since they were in diapers stared aimlessly across their table to the one a few feet away, chewing on his pen cap with wide eyes full of awe. Jinyoung still remembers looking up from his studies at the idiot he'd kept at his side and tsking before strategically smacking the pen cap out of his mouth with his own pencil.

They'd already been at the cafe for hours, their minds blank after meaningless studying, and Jinyoung was ready to head back to their dorm room to get some sleep before their next class. And now, this cosmic idiot found something else to focus on other than work. What pissed him off, even more, is when Jaebeom didn't seem to care that the pen cap he'd been chewing for the past twenty minutes was sitting on his hand in a puddle of his saliva.

"Jaebeom, we have to finish this up and go back to the dorms. I need some sleep before my cram classes and God knows you won't study without me. Or with me for that matter," Jinyoung sighs while slipping his thumb and index finger under his glasses to rub his tired eyes.

"Hey, Nyoungie. Check out the guy who's sitting behind you." Jaebeom said, finally realizing the slimy pen cap that slipped down his hand and shaking it off in disgust.

Jinyoung growled in annoyance. "Have you done any work since we got here?" Jinyoung picked up his phone to check the time. "Three hours ago?"

Jaebeom nodded hurriedly and started making hand gestures to get Jinyoung to turn around. The younger man turned to see what was so very interesting that his friend spent God knows how long staring at only it and nothing else. He didn't expect what he saw. On the farther side of the cafe sitting at a table for two was a dark-haired young man with a slender long nose, piercing but gentle eyes, a long swan-like neck, and a tall face. Jinyoung had seen the guy on campus a few times and he was beautiful, to say the least. Jinyoung almost understood why he'd taken his friend's attention. Jaebeom liked guys like that. The photogenic ones with striking features.

Jinyoung turns back to Jaebeom--who managed to find the pen of the pen cap and started chewing on that--and nodded his head in the other's direction. "What about him?" He asks as nonchalantly as possible just to tick the other off. And it works. Jaebeom looks at Jinyoung like he'd grown a new head with elephant ears and trunk.

"What do you mean 'what about him'? Isn't he the most freaking gorgeous person you've ever seen? Look at his nose, and hair, and eyes, and...everything! He's so pretty I think I might actually cry." Jaebeom says, finally losing all chewable items and resting his chin in his palm. To Jinyoung's dismay, this could only mean one thing; Jaebeom was smitten. Again.

"Are you kidding me? Isn't this the fourth guy you've crushed on this semester?" Jinyoung asks. His annoyance is evident in his tone.

"And what of it? I like exploring my options, it's a free country." Jaebeom retaliated, angrily grabbing his iced drink and taking a long swig.

Jinyoung rolls his eyes as he starts packing his things to leave. He's only got a good three hours before his last class and he'd like to get some shut-eye before anything manages to put a roadblock in his evening plans. Which something usually does, but he's praying he doesn't jinx himself this time around.

"I'm gonna go talk to him. I think he's alone so this should be a piece of cake," Jaebeom says confidently while he stands up from their table and struts over to the other man across the room.

"Just don't embarrass yourself. Or me." Jinyoung says the last part quietly and more like a prayer than a demand.

He just finished packing up his pencils when he hears a voice that sounds a little too loud asking what someone was doing somewhere. Jinyoung almost doesn't care, but when he turns around to see Jaebeom in a one-sided face-off with a slightly shorter man, he can already tell that any attempts to leave the cafe before the clock strikes five flies out the window. The man that was sitting before this disaster broke out is now standing in between Jaebeom and the shorter, louder one who's pointing a deadly finger at Jaebeom's face and trying to get past his friend.

Once the taller has the shorter under control, he bows several times before the two of them exit the building. Jinyoung's shocked and it isn't even 4:50 yet. He can still make it to the dorms and catch a nap. Jaebeom turns very slowly and shamefully in Jinyoung's direction, grabs his things, and leaves the cafe. Jinyoung can only laugh as his best friend walks the whole way back in the sweltering with his hoodie's hood covering his head and face.

* * *

"So, was he his boyfriend or something?" Jinyoung asked while he changed into his PJs.

"Maybe. I wouldn't know. He just came in out of nowhere and started saying stuff like "who do you think you are?" and "get out of here!" and crap like that. I barely got his name out before the little guy showed up," Jaebeom moped on the corner of his bed with his legs brought up to his chest. His hood still sitting atop his head in shame.

Jinyoung climbed into bed, only feeling sorry for the moron next to him for a brief moment before laughing at him. "Maybe this is your karma for not studying." He joked as he got into his blankets.

Jaebeom's limbs shot out from underneath him and he clambered onto Jinyoung's bed to give the other boy a good headlock with a noogie on the side. "You wanna talk trash about my dating life? At least I'm looking for potential partners while you're just sitting here scoring As and getting old. Are you still a virgin? Last I checked was seven years ago!"

Jinyoung can't breathe and it's freaking annoying that Jaebeom is the captain of the soccer team and is a freaking powerhouse who isn't easily beaten. But because they've been together since the womb, Jinyoung knows all of Jaebeom's weak spots and attacks relentlessly, turning his hyung into a giggling mess as he tries to get away from Jinyoung's finger that repeatedly hit his ticklish points. Jaebeom's practically wheezing his apologies and surrenders and Jinyoung finally obliges. The two sit on his bed for a while trying to catch their breaths when Jaebeom speaks up again.

"His name is Mark. That's all I got. I'll have to check the school's system for the last name. It shouldn't be too hard. Mark's a foreign name so he's probably the only Mark on campus." Said Jaebeom.

Jinyoung only nods since he's still tired from fighting Jaebeom off of him then having to tickle him to death. "Did you get the other guy's name?" Jinyoung asked after a few more breaths. Which he wished he didn't when Jaebeom gave him his signature 'I'm ready to mess with you' smile that makes Jinyoung groan out loud.

"Why? You wanna get to know him? Is my counseling on college dating finally being taken seriously by my baby brother?" Jaebeom asked, pulling Jinyoung's cheek for good measure. Jinyoung bats his hand away and shoos Jaebeom off his bed before answering.

"For your information, it hasn't. You of all people shouldn't be giving any dating advice. Ever." Jinyoung points at Jaebeom.

Jaebeom only smiles while he nestles into his bed and Jinyoung can't help but feel like Jaebeom's won this round somehow. It annoys him but he's too tired to keep talking. He shuts the light and lies flat on his back, trying to think up something that will make him fall asleep faster and settles on some equations.

"Jackson." Said Jaebeom out of the blue. His voice becoming soft as he was already drifting off to sleep. "The other guy's name was Jackson. I think." And he was out.

"Idiot," Jinyoung smirked. But not in a spiteful way. Just in the way that suits his mood whenever he's around Jaebeom, the campus heartbreaker.

How he acquired that name wasn't something Jinyoung wanted to think about. Since the two were so close and always together, Jinyoung would get complaints from other students all around campus about Jaebeom dumping them or cheating on them. Which in Jinyoung's opinion was just not true. It was so that his friend was a player, but to the ones he was having some with, he'd always let them down slowly and move on to the next big catch. In this case, it was a man named Mark. Mark is an American name, but Jinyoung guessed that if the man attended their school, he must know at some Korean. At least enough to hold a conversation.

He'd be lying if he said his stomach didn't do a tiny summersault and that maybe one or three butterflies escaped from his cage of nerves when he turned to look at Mark from across the cafe. He wasn't only Jaebeom's type but Jinyoung's as well and it made the younger worry about what it could mean for their future. Ever since they were young boys who were just figuring out what love was, they made an unspoken promise to leave whoever the other was in love or having some with alone. It just made sense. But on the other hand, there was that other man--Jackson, Jaebeom called him?

The first thing he noticed about him was his height. He was a few good centimeters shorter than both Mark and Jaebeom, but his presence overpowered them within seconds of his arrival at the scene. Could he have been Mark's boyfriend? Jinyoung couldn’t see his eyes, thanks to the black cap he donned that pretty much covered the upper half of his face, but he saw his jawline and how it jutted out as he spoke. His voice was a pitch Jinyoung couldn’t differentiate between high or low and he wondered what Jackson actually sounded like. Now that he's thinking about it, in all the times he's seen Mark--which he could count on one hand--there was always someone walking next to him.

Someone who was practically glued to his hip and wore a cap that matched with his shirt. Jinyoung's guessing it's been Jackson the whole time and comes to the conclusion that Jackson may actually be Mark's boyfriend. Meaning neither he nor Jaebeom had a chance with either of them. He turns to look at his alarm clock that switches to 12 am two seconds later and decides to call it a night. Whatever Mark and Jackson are to each other is none of his business. He thinks of this as he falls into a comfortable sleep accompanied by Jaebeom's soft snores.

* * *

The next week finds Jinyoung and Jaebeom back in the same cafe they were before, except this time Jaebeom is studying and Mark isn't there. Jinyoung felt like they'd been making progress with Jaebeom asking numerous questions about things he couldn't understand--which was 80% of the whole subject, the poor jock--and pulling his hair out whenever he tried to answer something on his own. If there was one out the many things Jinyoung admired about his best friend, it was his perseverance and the open mind he had to learn and assess information for his benefit. He never complained about studying too much--until his brain visibly short-circuited--and was always trying to answer things on his own before asking for help.

Seeing him study so diligently made Jinyoung want to treat the soccer player. "What do you want from the counter?" He asked already pulling out his wallet. Jaebeom made a sound that matched that of a dying cat, not looking up from his paper nor unclenching the fistful of hair he had in his left hand. "Americano it is," Jinyoung said with a smile on his face.

As he makes his way up to the counter, he doesn't notice the other person standing next to him until they both say "Iced Americano" in perfect unison. Jinyoung turned to the other and sees it's Mark. When did he get here? The other man smiles and extends a hand to the counter.

"Please, you go first." He says and Jinyoung is startled at how deep his voice is.

"Oh, no. You can go first. Please," Jinyoung insists and wonders why he feels so hot all of a sudden.

Mark bows in thanks and smiles again with pearly white teeth and Jinyoung has to turn away before he can see his blush. This man is really beautiful. Mark continues his order while Jinyoung is just standing there and trying to look at every other thing in the building except for Mark and his eyes actually manage to land on someone. There's a man walking up to the counter, a black cap on his head matching the oversized black shirt he's wearing along with lumpy black track shorts, black knee-high socks, and black Adidas sneakers.

Did he have no color pallet or something? His eyes were glued to his phone but he seemed to know exactly where he was going. Jinyoung immediately knew who he was when the man hooked his chin on Mark's shoulder and threw his arms around the other.

Jackson.

Jinyoung can't help but feel a little twang of something resembling jealousy as Jackson whispers something in Mark's ear and makes the other laugh. It doesn't stop there. Jackson's chest to back with Mark as if caging him from other's view, whispering in his ear and biting--yes, biting--Mark's shoulder until Mark is pushing his face away and pinching him. Jackson's only off of him for a second before he's latching on to Mark again, his chin safely hooked on Mark's shoulder and arms wrapped around his middle. Anyone who thought these two were probably just good friends instead of two people in love was obviously in denial.

Jinyoung felt like an idiot for blushing and felt bad for Jaebeom who really seemed to be into Mark. Oh well. There were other fish in the sea, right? Mark and Jackson take their drinks to their table and Jinyoung is handed his iced Americano--well Jaebeom's--and heads back to his and Jaebeom's table to find the other face flat on the table. He nudges him before sitting down and nearly dies laughing when Jaebeom lifts his head and sticky notes fly off his face in numerous directions. If he couldn't have Mark, he at least had Jaebeom.

The two spend another hour at the cafe and only leave when Jaebeom starts blinking aimlessly into space. A clear sign that he's reached his limit and needs a break. They pack their things and head back to their dorms with a light conversation about cats that visibly energizing Jaebeom. Jinyoung's not sure how the conversation took a turn to what happened in the cafe that afternoon.

"I saw Mark again," he starts, looking away from Jaebeom's hopeful face.

"Seriously? Where? When? Where was I?" Jaebeom's shaking Jinyoung for answers and the younger boy has to fight him off before answering.

"At the cafe. We met at the counter and didn't exchange more than five words before his boyfriend showed up."

Jinyoung didn't actually expect Jaebeom to hear that last part but his friend has surprisingly good hearing when he wants to. He looked at Jinyoung with that face again and Jinyoung just shrugged. "Come on, JB. Do you actually think someone like Mark wouldn't already be taken? Or that someone who follows him everywhere like that isn't his boyfriend?" Jinyoung tries to console the other but Jaebeom's hanging his head and he knows this is going to be a tough one to get over. 

For the rest of the way, Jinyoung comforts Jaebeom with words of encouragement until they reach the safety and air conditioning of their dorm room.

* * *

Jaebeom is an idiot. Jinyoung's known that all his life since they were waddling in diapers and Jaebeom ran right into a poll and kept walking with blood running down his forehead. To this day, no one, not even his parents are completely sure that their son didn't have permanent brain damage since that time twenty-three years ago. But today, Jinyoung can assuredly say that Im Jaebeom was in fact a colossal idiot. It wasn't the poor boy's fault though and Jinyoung tries hard not to be too offended by Jaebeom's impossibly stupid plan on how to get the senior he'd been crushing on for the past month, Mark Tuan, to go out with him while they're in the middle of prepping for bed and Jaebeom is gorging a carton of chocolate ice cream.

"I'm sorry," Jinyoung pinches the bridge of his nose as he tries to remember that he loves Jaebeom and that he's practically the brother he never had and wouldn't want him to end up in the hospital because of an accident no one could have prevented. "Run me through that again?"

Jaebeom sighs with a roll of his eyes and starts from the beginning. "I'm gonna say this one more time, Jinyoungie. You'd better be listening. So, the plan is; you date Jackson to distract him while I go out with Mark. Once Mark and I get serious about our relationship, you can break it off with Jackson whenever you wish. It's super simple, Jinyoungie. Try to keep up."

Don't hit him. _Don't. Hit. Him._ Jinyoung has to repeat it several times in his head before he's able to calm down. "And what makes you think that this plan of yours will work, my friend? Not only do I _not_ want to "date" Jackson Wang, but who says he and Mark aren't a couple?"

Jaebeom starts kicking his feet against Jinyoung's bed the way he always does when he's allowing himself to be childish. "He's not dating Jackson Wang! I've asked tons of people and all of them said the same thing. He and Jackson are just really good friends and Jackson's super protective of him for some reason. Whatever, man. It'll work, I know it will." Jaebeom huffs before he takes a rather large spoonful of chocolate ice cream into his mouth.

"No, Jaebeom. It won't. Do you want to know why?" Jinyoung asked as if he were asking a child. The way Jaebeom shakes his head only proves his point. "Because I don't like Jackson Wang. I don't like the way he is and he's totally not my style. I don't think I can stand to be near someone who's so,"

"Energetic?" Jaebeom interrupts.

"Exactly! I already have you and I don't need two of you in my life," Jinyoung sighs.

Over the past month, Jaebeom and Jinyoung had been able to keep on the lookout for Jackson and Mark. Thanks to these subtle monitorings, Jinyoung has discovered many-a-thing about Mark Tuan and Jackson Wang. They have no boundaries when it comes to skinship, Jackson's an extrovert while Mark is an ambivert, and Jackson doesn't let anyone get within four feet of Mark if he's not by his side. Jackson's loud, bold, childish, and overly physical whilst Mark is a composed and mature adult, someone fitting Jinyoung's taste and sadly Jaebeom's as well.

But he'll never know that. Jinyoung would in fact rather date Jackson than let Jaebeom know that every time Mark passes by, his belly does a little summersault and his heart takes wing. Jaebeom's slurping brings Jinyoung out of his deep thoughts. The soccer player set his carton next to him and scoots closer to Jinyoung's bedside. His features turn a bit more serious as he begins to speak.

"Look, Nyoungie. I know that Jackson's not your type, but I really really like Mark. I can't even talk to the guy without Jackson _literally_ coming in between us and telling me to back off. I'm starting to get desperate, man. Liking someone has never been this stressful and I don't want to back out now. You know me, I won't be able to," says Jaebeom, looking serious for the first time that night.

Jinyoung groans. He can't help but fall into this love-sick puppy's trap. Jaebeom is his most precious friend, a brother really, and knowing that he's suffering thanks to this lovesickness is killing him. Before answering, he runs through the situation in his head once more. Jaebeom strongly believes that Mark and Jackson are not in fact in a relationship and he's trying to get Jackson to start dating for the sole purpose of leaving Mark alone and giving Jaebeom a chance to swoop in a steal Mark's heart while the person who's left with a hyperactive human puppy is him. His head hurts. At this point, if he keeps thinking about it, he'll bruise the bridge of his nose.

"Jaebeom...are you sure about this? What if he figures it out? Won't you lose Mark's trust too?" Jinyoung tries to goad him into dumping the whole thing but the look on Jaebeom's face says it all.

"I want to at least try, Nyoungie. I want to be able to at least have his number, remember his birthday, celebrate our 100 day anniversary."

"If you get past the first one," Jinyoung interjected.

"So will you do it? Please? If it's too much for you to handle, you can back out any time you want. But please, hold out for me, Mark, and love as a whole," Jaebeom begs with his hands pressed together.

Jinyoung lets out another groan, surprised that he's actually agreeing to this plum foolery. "Alright. How do you want to do this?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I can't help but feel like this is crap. But I won't delete it...I hope. Subscribe, leave kudos, and comment if you liked it. Or don't. I'm not your mom.  
> Peace!


	2. Between Loyalty and Lust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the lovely feedback on chapter one! I forgot to mention this in chapter one, but Jinyoung and Jaebeom were studying for the exams taken at the end of a semester. So we're in cooler/colder weather now. Just thought I'd let you know. Plus, the chapter names. I can't believe I didn't put it up there. So sorry. Enjoy chapter two, everyone! [Mark's hair](https://www.pngfind.com/pngs/m/555-5553673_mark-tuan-got7-kpop-hair-black-red-handsome.png)

The break between summer and fall semester flew by as it always did, and Jinyoung found himself back on a train to Seoul Monday morning after visiting his family. Jaebeom was sleeping, his head resting safely on Jinyoung's shoulder and omitting silent snores, while Jinyoung watched the trees pass by, dreading the distance between his school and home.

Not only was today a bad for more reasons than it being Monday, the first day of a new semester, or oddly cold for a day in mid-August, it was going to be the first day of Jaebeom's masterplan to get Mark Tuan to fall in love with him. Because of the exams six weeks ago, Jinyoung forbade Jaebeom to focus on anything other than his studies. If Jaebeom slacked off or failed any of his exams, Jinyoung had the right to refuse to help.

Annoyingly enough, Jaebeom managed to pass every course, thus leaving Jinyoung with no choice but to grant him his absurd request. It was a simple plan, really. Jinyoung would have to spend time with/make the hyperactive human puppy known as Jackson Wang fall in love with him while Jaebeom tries to convince Mark, the beautiful senior, to be his forever. Jinyoung puffed hot air onto his window and drew a sad face.

Over the last few weeks, with Jaebeom going on and on about all the things he wanted to do with Mark once they got together, Jinyoung had been barely surviving with his internal battle between lust and loyalty. His loyalty to Jaebeom was the only thing holding him back from pursuing his lustful desires for Mark Tuan. Mark, who he swore to give up for his best friend's sake. Who he started following on social media and found out that he liked all the cheesy little things. That he was deep when it came to one's self and that after every two posts, Jackson made an appearance. 

What confused Jinyoung--and kept him up half the night before his departure--was that Mark called Jackson his "younger brother." It wasn't weird per se, Jinyoung called Jaebeom "hyung" every now and then and the other was practically his brother. It would make all the touches, kisses, and uncomfortable amounts of staring that they did to each other make sense, though. Jinyoung thought he'd for sure put these thoughts to rest around 1 am the night before but they managed to make their way back into his head and make his stomach hurt with uncertainty.

 _The plan starts today. How am I supposed to do this?_ Jinyoung couldn't help but ask himself for the umpteenth that morning as he tried to catch the last few minutes of travel he had to go through before the bus made it to the school.

* * *

The first class of the day was business management. Jinyoung's not sure why he signed up for it, but he was bored and wanted to try something new. If he failed, well then he'd be a man and pay Jaebeom his fifty thousand won and forget this portion of his college career ever happened. The part that didn't make sense was that Jaebeom signed up right along with him and now the two were walking into a half-empty classroom where every student seemed to be dreading the day they were born.

Jaebeom tried to make a run for it, but Jinyoung caught his best friend before he had a chance and dragged him by his wrist towards an empty set of seats. Jaebeom grumbled and put his head in his arms on the table while Jinyoung unpacked his materials. And then the door opens and a guy with blonde and brown hair is trying to pull another person inside the classroom. Jinyoung was about to ignore the whole scene when his eyes landed on a familiar pout that sat on the face of Jackson Wang. His heart nearly stops when the man with dyed hair turns around and it's Mark.

His new hair only makes Jinyoung's heart beats a few times faster and he has to start looking at anything other than Mark before he starts gawking. From the view behind his eyelids, Jinyoung can see the two of them making their way up the steps to find a spot and Jinyoung has to stop himself from offering the seats in front of him and Jaebeom. But the universe had never been on Jinyoung's side and Jaebeom chooses that exact moment to get his head off the table and wave like an idiot to the both of them.

"You can sit here! These seats aren't taken," he practically yells and Jinyoung strategically scoots a seat away from his friend.

It only makes matters worse when Jinyoung dares to glance in their direction and he's met with Jackson's glare. He's holding onto Mark's wrist and shaking his head, but the older man takes Jackson's and pulls him towards the seats Jaebeom so stupidly offered. Mark smiles politely at Jaebeom and Jinyoung as they take a seat and Jinyoung suddenly wants to leave. Mark's there and so are Jaebeom and Jackson. The one he likes, the one he loves, and the one he's supposed to "date" but would rather die than do.

His phone chimes and he scowls across the table when he sees Jaebeom's the sender.

**_Good idea with the scooting._ **  
**_I don't think we should let them know we know each other._ **  
**_Sorry it's so last-minute lol._ **

Jinyoung's never wanted to strangle the man so much. Never mind that he's a professional athlete and probably has two inches and five pounds over Jinyoung. The younger would find a way. There was always a way. The teacher walked in, disrupting all of Jinyoung's glorious murder strategies and demanding that all phones were put away and that everyone pay attention as she took attendance.

* * *

Jinyoung's never been more thankful that he had a class without Jaebeom before in his entire life. As he walks over to his final class of the day--chemistry was another class he signed up for just cause--, his heart falls down to his feet when he sees Jackson sitting at one of the desks and Mark nowhere to be found. Jinyoung had never seen the two separated and began to wonder how Jackson's behavior was like when the other wasn't around. His curiosity got the better of him and for once, he didn't look at Jackson as someone he needed to get acquainted with but as just another student who went to his school.

He placed his things on the desk and sat next to him as quietly as possible. Every few seconds, he'd glance in Jackson's direction but the other never once looked up from his notebook where he scribbled characters in a language Jinyoung couldn't recognize. Being won over by that itch of needing to know something once again, Jinyoung leaned a little too close into Jackson's space. The notebook was shut a second later and he was met with yet another scowl from Jackson. But the scowl only lasted a half-second and was replaced with wide--beautiful if Jinyoung were being honest--brown eyes that showed a combination of shock, confusion, and...embarrassment?

All Jinyoung can do is blink like a freaking fish before he finally decides to use words like a normal human being. "Uh...hi. I'm Park Jinyoung. It's nice to meet you," he says with a hand stretched out and a nervous smile on his face.

Jackson gulps visibly and blinks multiple times before looking down at Jinyoung's open hand. He doesn't take it but looks back up at Jinyoung instead while his mouth opens and closes, also quite like a gaping fish. 

"What are you...how are you... You still go here?" Jackson asks finally and Jinyoung's more lost than he was when this conversation started.

"Yes. I'm a junior here. I've been going here for the past--,"

"No. No that's...that's not what I wanted to say," Jackson interrupts.

Jinyoung is at a loss for words when the teacher finally shows up and asks everyone to settle down. Jackson turns to face the front of the room and Jinyoung locks eyes with the clock sitting above the whiteboard. He had another hour and a half in this class before he could finally retreat to his dorm room and sleep the hectic day he's had out of his memory.

* * *

"Wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute," Jaebeom said as he suddenly rose up from his lying position on his bed and loosened the hoodie from his head. "You're saying he _knows_ you?" He asks as if Jinyoung's explanation from the beginning wasn't enough.

He pinches the bridge of his nose at first, but it doesn't feel like enough so he runs his hands up and down his face and through his hair the way he does when he's at peak frustration. "Yes. I think? I'm not sure, Beom," he groans.

"But how? Did you two ever meet before school or..."

Jaebeom arches an eyebrow and Jinyoung finally lets out the anger he's been hoarding all morning by beating the crap out of Jaebeom with his pillow.

"I didn't sleep with him you freakin pervert!" Jinyoung yelled as he grabbed a fistful of Jaebeom's hair and tugged relentlessly.

"Nyoungie, chill! Calm down, dude! I'm sorry!" Jaebeom apologizes while laughing his head off and trying not to move so much while Jinyoung's fingers tugged his roots. "Can you please let go? It really hurts," Jaebeom pleaded while rubbing his hands together.

After a few seconds of procrastination, Jinyoung let go and returned to his own bed, hugging the pillow he beat Jaebeom with and pondering where, when, and how on earth he and Jackson knew each other. He silently racks his brain, searching through all the events he may have gone to--which he could count using three fingers--in his prior college years but doesn't believe he's ever crossed a person like Jackson. Much less the man himself.

"Dude, don't overthink it. It was probably one of those cheesy moments like in a drama. Whereas you met each other as kids and are destined to be life-long lovers or something," said Jaebeom, earning a glare from Jinyoung. 

As annoying as it is, Jaebeom's right. Overthinking it wouldn't do him any good and with the day he's had, he'd rather not add another headache. He turns on his phone and finds it on Jaebeom's latest text. The one he sent to him in class when Jinyoung was having a mini heart attack. 

"Why do you want us to pretend we don't know each other?" he asked.

"Because. If they find out we're friends, they'll piece the whole set-up together and Mark and I can't be together," said Jaebeom. Jinyoung guessed he had a point but suddenly remembered his second headache.

"Well, your plan's going to fail now," he said nonchalantly, not really expecting Jaebeom to hear him but not surprised at his shocked reaction.

"What do you mean my plan's gonna fail? It's barely even started!" Jaebeom screeched.

"You said you didn't want them to know we're friends, but Jackson already knows me. Which means he probably already knows how close we are," said Jinyoung as he got under his blankets. 

Jaebeom was quiet for a minute before he responded. "But if you don't remember Jackson, who's to say Jackson was right about knowing you at all?"

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. "JB, please go to sleep."

Jaebeom sucked his teeth and turned off the lights without another word. Five minutes later, he was snoring, but Jinyoung's mind kept turning. Remembering all the little things he could but coming up with nothing and deciding to sleep on it instead.

* * *

Jinyoung almost wanted to skip his class today. It wasn't the first time he wanted to, it was just the first time that it was for such a stupid reason. So what if Jackson knew him? So what if he knew that Jinyoung and Jaebeom were friends and probably guessed that they concocted this plan in order to get the beautiful Mark Tuan who was Jackson's best friend to go out with Jinyoung's idiot of a best friend? In the end, this would all land on Jaebeom's head. Jinyoung told himself from the beginning that he wasn't going to act on his feelings for Mark for Jaebeom's sake. So in the end, Jaebeom would look like more of a bastard than he did.

Of course, Mark may never look at him again, but he'd be okay with that. All the more reason to stay away from him. Walking into the lab, Jinyoung found Jackson sitting in the same seat as the day before and wondered if he should sit next to him. His question was answered when he realized that every other seat was taken. Once again, he placed his things on the desk and sat quietly while Jackson scribbled in his notebook again. Thankfully, Jinyoung was wearing his glasses this time and recognized the characters on Jackson's paper--while maintaining a safe distance--as Chinese. Jackson closed it suddenly and Jinyoung started fiddling with his pencil pouch.

Jackson stopped moving for a second when he looked in his direction. To show him that what happened the day before wasn't invading his thoughts for reasons he did not know, Jinyoung turned and smiled at him. Even added a stupid little wave and his most charming "hello" which he mentally kicked himself for. Jackson bowed slightly but didn't turn away as Jinyoung expected him to do. Instead, he looked him directly in the eyes and Jinyoung prayed he wouldn't fall off his chair with the way he was backing up.

"Right. You needed glasses for reading," Jackson said at a level only the two of them could hear.

"Yeah, I can't read without them," Jinyoung said nervously. 

"I know," said Jackson in almost a whisper.

He pulled out of Jinyoung's space and fixed his eyes on the board the same way he did the day before and Jinyoung can't help but feel like a piece of his soul's been pulled out. The way he said he knew and the use of the word "needed" in his previous sentence sent shivers up and down Jinyoung's spine. He wasn't interested at first. In fact, he even prayed that Jaebeom would be swept away by another pretty face and forget all about Mark for the sole reason of not having to get to know Jackson Wang. But something's starting to give him another annoying itch in the back of his head.

The same sinking feeling from years prior is starting to arise and fears he'd much rather had left in the past begin seeping into his memory. Whoever Jackson Wang is and in whatever way he knew him was now the only thing Jinyoung could focus on finding out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aigoo, so short but I've had a really busy day. I'm sure you have questions, but answers will come in future chapters. Sorry if this was a little messy. I promise I'll write better in the future. Next chapter's gonna be up on Saturday and probably not thirty minutes before midnight. Comments and kudos are my fixes. Please indulge me.  
> Peace!


	3. Superstitious Partner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this is late. My wifi was being a biatch. I just discovered this (and I don't know why), but Jackson's POV is so much harder to write for some reason. This isn't the backstory, but it does answer some questions...I think. HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY, MARKYPOO! And congrats on Jackson's new MV making 5M views already. Anywho, here's chapter 3!

Jackson was pretty sure that he was a good person. That even after all the time he'd spent in detention, suspension, and even that three-month fling in juvenile hall when he was fifteen, he was a good person. But no. Today, Jackson was sure that he'd angered the forces of the universe a bit too much and was finally paying the price for all his sins. He should have read the signs. That morning, when he'd just gotten out of bed and headed to the bathroom to ready himself for the day, he'd seen a crack in the bathroom mirror. Jackson wasn't superstitious, but he could tell an omen when he saw one.

Choosing to ignore the fact that he just looked into a broken mirror, Jackson relieved himself and reached for the faucet in the tub. And it broke. The handle to deviate between hot and cold was sitting in his hand when Mark popped in and froze when he took in the scene. Jackson looked up at the elder, lost and confused with the handle resting in his palm when Mark took it and started working on trying to put it back in its place. Jackson hadn't even finished his business and crap was already happening to him.

After another thirty minutes, Mark was finally able to fix the problem. Jackson abandoned the idea of showering and just got dressed. He traped through their tiny apartment and started looking for food and found a roach in the rice. With a shriek that could raise the dead, Jackson bolted back into the bathroom where he slipped and landed flat on his face. Mark, who was already in the shower, pulled back the curtain and found his younger brother on the ground clutching his head. "Are you okay?" asked Mark.

Jackson scowled at him while rubbing the bump he could feel forming on the side of his head. "Of course I'm not okay! I nearly died a second ago," he whined and Mark had to hold back a laugh.

The madness didn't stop there. On the way to their first class, a black cat ran in front of them--even though Mark insisted it was brown--, a bird pooped on his shoulder, and the chair he sat on while drinking his coffee broke underneath him. Thankfully, his coffee was on the table and not in his hand. Shivers ran up and down Jackson's spine when they walked into their first class of the day with Mark's arm acting as his only support. Jackson's eyes land on Jinyoung and it both relieves and troubles him. Jinyoung is sitting at his desk, his hands either carding through his hair or adjusting his reading glasses. Looking as effortlessly flawless as the sun.

"Jacky, let's go sit down," Mark urged, snapping Jackson out of his daze.

In all honesty, he can't believe Park Jinyoung is in his class this year. He feels like a high schooler in love but he can't fully help himself whenever Jinyoung's around. With Jinyoung's large brown eyes, full lips, supple cheeks, and gorgeous body, who would be able to? The two take a seat on the row next to Jinyoung--and next to that annoying guy from the cafe--and Jackson's happy to be able to have a beautiful view of Jinyoung's entire left side. Class begins and Jackson can feel the high of seeing Jinyoung for the first time this morning settle a bit as he forces himself to focus. And then it happened. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, I want to inform you that for the next two weeks, you will be working in an assigned group of four for your first project this semester," Professor Nam said.

Groans, cheers, and sighs went all around the room, and fear settled in Jackson's heart. He didn't want to be in a group without Mark no matter what and the thought of having to work with others made him all kinds of uneasy. Then, Professor Nam pulled up a slide that showed the members of all four groups. Jackson scanned the screen like his life depended on it and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his name under Mark's but started hyperventilating when he saw Jinyoung's and someone named Jaebeom under his. He looked to his left and locked eyes with Jinyoung for only half a second before turning away.

"Please gather your things and sit with your group everyone," said Professor Nam as she switched slides to start talking about the topic on which the groups had to present.

Jackson's heart kicks into overdrive when Jinyoung sits in the seat right next to him. He flashed him a polite smile and began arranging his things. As the lesson goes on, Jackson's torn between paying attention to the teacher, Jinyoung, or the weirdo that keeps whispering to Mark and making him _smile_. It sets alarms off in Jackson's head and he's suddenly tugging on Mark's sleeve like he's always done when he wants the other's attention. But Mark takes too long to give it to him and before Jackson can process what's going on, Jinyoung's touching his arm. It's electric where he touched, making the hairs on Jackson's arm stand up as goosebumps form.

Jackson jumps when he turns to look at the other and Jinyoung just stares back with wide confused eyes for a second before speaking. "Do you both want to meet up at the cafe near the campus later? We can study and go over our project there," he says in his oh so beautiful voice.

"Uh...um, sure. We'll go there," Jackson stutters.

Jinyoung gives him another tight-lipped and polite smile before gathering his things and heading to his next class.

* * *

"Why does crap like this have to happen to me?" Jackson whined as Mark set up their studying supplies on the table.

"Crap like what? It's just a project, not the end of the world," said Mark in that tone that said he was answering but not really listening.

Jackson shot up from his slouched position on his chair and scowled at Mark who just smiled at him. A few minutes later, Jinyoung and Jaebeom walked into the cafe. Jackson couldn't help but feel uneasy with Jaebeom around. Especially the way he was always looking in Mark's direction every few seconds. Jackson would kill anyone who'd dare say Mark wasn't worth looking at, but he'd also kill those who looked past their limit. The last thing Jackson would want for Mark is a repeat of what happened two years ago, but this Jaebeom character was bringing back those bad vibes.

As they took their seats--Jinyoung sitting right next to Jackson on the round table making him scooch closer to Mark--, Mark who was made the leader of the team started passing information on their project. The other two paid close attention--maybe too close--while Jackson stole glances at Jinyoung every few seconds. He grew up so well, his Jinyoung. Jackson could see the fabric of his cardigan--such a fogey--tighten up over his muscles. Could see his shredded calves and thighs and that oh so fine peach under his jeans, making his heart pound a mile a minute as he struggled to take sips of his drink properly.

The four of them leave the cafe three hours later and Jackson's silently cursing to himself for barely getting three words out to Jinyoung. But what of it? Jackson's not interested in the bastard anymore so why should his heart skip a beat whenever the other smiles that fake but cute smile at him or runs his fingers through his wavey brown hair? Or maybe just fixes his reading glasses, rolls up his sleeves when he's started to get serious, flicks his tongue out every other minute to wet his lips--.

"Wang Jia'er Jackson!"

Jackson jumps at the sound of his full name and sees Mark looking at him with annoyance and concern. "What?" he squeaks.

"What do you mean 'what'? I called you about six times and you just kept walking. What's the matter with you today? You've been out of it since our first class," said Mark and Jackson's touched that his big brother noticed that something--or rather someone--was bothering him. Jackson huffs out a sigh and is surprised to see the fog of his own breath in front of him. Autumn was like winter in Korea.

"Mark, do you remember Peaches?" Jackson asked as they made their way to their apartment.

Mark frowns as he tries to remember then nods. "Yeah. It was the code name for that guy you li--," Mark's sentence burned out and Jackson huffed a dry laugh.

"Yeah. He was the guy I liked back in our sophomore year. You can say it. I don't mind," he sighed.

Mark wrapped his arms around Jackson's shoulders and kissed his head. "Why're you bringing up that douchebag?"

Jackson shrugged and leaned into Mark's touch. "Dunno. He just came to mind and I haven't been able to kick him out,"

Mark chuckled as he pulled Jackson closer. "Well keep kicking. Get that bastard out of your head and forget he ever existed. Just forget about him," said Mark.

Jackson hummed a response, knowing that no matter how hard he'd try, he could never get the likes of Park Jinyoung out of his head.

* * *

It's been a week and six days since Jinyoung and Jaebeom had been put in the same group as Jackson and Mark and if Jinyoung's being completely honest, it hasn't been as bad as he thought it would be. No, not bad, just surprising. What Jinyoung means by surprising is the amount of helping he has to give not only Jaebeom but Mark as well. Every so often during their daily study groups at the cafe, Mark asks Jackson a question and without fail, Jackson guides him through the process until Mark understands it. In a way, he reminds Jinyoung of Jaebeom who was having his fair share of confusion as well.

The once windy afternoon turned into a twilight evening and their group still had to put together a few more pieces to their presentation the next day. Jinyoung stretched and popped his aching muscles until he was satisfied and got to trying to wake up Jaebeom from his slumber. The poor kid was pooped. Across the table, he saw Mark leaning on Jackson's shoulder, laying safely in the crook of his neck and snoring softly. Jackson was surprisingly productive. Not once did he sleep, complain, or stop working ever since they arrived four hours ago, and by the look of determination on his face, it seemed as if he were able to spend another four hours working.

Jinyoung admired his will and found himself staring. Jackson never went anywhere without a hat, he realized, and the hat had to match his shirt by either color, pattern, or style. As the days grew colder, Jackson came to school with a new hoodie too and Jinyoung can't explain why it makes him giddy on the inside to see the other swimming in the oversized material. Maybe it's because of Jackson's eyes, or his thin lips that become glossy tulips when he pouts, or the way he can be funny and cute but also fierce and domineering. There were so many layers to Jackson that Jinyoung couldn't begin to comprehend but feared that he'd one day dive into willingly to discover.

"If you're gonna keep staring, at least get me another latte. It'll keep me from glaring at you," Jackson said suddenly and Jinyoung nearly jumped.

Jinyoung stood, taking a minute to stretch his legs, before heading over to the counter. There are new faces and he's surprised that they've been there long enough for the other workers to change shifts. He asks for Jackson's drink and waits, rubbing his eyes to try and stay awake. He turns slightly and sees Jackson laying Mark's head on the table before softly brushing his hair out of his face. Jinyoung smiles at the sight of how well he took care of Mark but felt his heart ache a bit too.

He wished he were the one looking after Mark, petting his hair, holding him while he slept, or giving him kisses whenever he nuzzled his jawline. The drink is ready and Jinyoung shakes the idea out of his head as he heads back to the table. As he's handing Jackson his drink, he notices out of the corner of his eye that Jaebeom's head was slipping off his arm on the table. Out of habit, he repositioned Jaebeom until he was in a safer position, silently calling him an idiot. Once he sat, he found Jackson eyeing him with a frown while taking his drink.

"Are you two close?" he asked.

Shoot. Jinyoung messed up. 

"No, not really. We're roommates, that's all," said Jinyoung while scratching the back of his neck.

Jackson nodded and stayed quiet for a moment before speaking. "Do you know if he likes Mark?"

Jinyoung froze. He couldn't tell if this situation were a good one or a bad one so he simply shrugged. "Not sure. We don't really talk, us two," he said, hoping to get Jackson to drop the subject but he kept going.

"Do you know that he's known for breaking people's hearts?" said Jackson, and Jinyoung wants to kick the idiot who's snoring peacefully while he's about to go into cardiac arrest.

"I don't. I don't pay much attention to campus gossip. It's a waste of time," said Jinyoung. He starts writing, hoping that seeing him busy would make Jackson stop but the other just can't seem to take a hint.

"Well, whenever you get a chance, tell him to back off. Mark's too good for him and I won't accept him if he asks," said Jackson before taking another wig of coffee.

Something about the way he said it ticks Jinyoung off and he's soon telling himself to cool down. Jaebeom got himself into this mess. Both of them knew what was coming when they decided to take Mark and Jackson on. Jackson was if not overprotective of Mark. In his eyes, anyone who came near Mark was scum and didn't deserve to be within ten feet of him, for reasons Jinyoung can only guess. He knows that if the situation were reversed or if Jinyoung had Jackson's personality, how protective he'd be of Jaebeom as well. Jaebeom wore a bright smile, joked, and laughed like it was all he learned to do. But underneath the smiles and laughs was a broken child who'd lost so much when he was so young.

If it hadn't been for Jinyoung's family taking him in after his parents died when he was only nine years of age, Jinyoung can't imagine where his best friend, his brother would be right now. Because of this, Jinyoung was always at his side. Not once did he leave Jaebeom alone. Even when he'd rather deny knowing him when a stranger would start to complain about him breaking their heart, he knew he'd never do it. Jaebeom only did so because he wanted to experience love of all kinds and to know that his heart was set on Mark Tuan, someone who was important to a person like Jackson Wang, made Jinyoung find even more reasons as to why he could never be with Mark.

"Can I ask you something?" Jinyoung asked as politely as he could.

Jackson cocked his head in response.

"How are you and Mark so close? I've never seen the two of you separated. May I ask why?"

Jackson's eyes drifted from his drink to a spot on the table that Jinyoung couldn't quite decipher. "He's my stepbrother. We were raised together in a bad family and he was the only one who protected me. So now I'm protecting him," said Jackson.

Jinyoung found it ironic that the two were in such similar situations. Both of them having a protective streek for two people they called a brother who they weren't even related to by blood. Was it a kind of fate that the two should be together? Or a bad omen telling them to stay apart?

"Do you really think that there isn't anyone in the world who can protect him the way you do?" Jinyoung probed.

"No. Absolutely not. Nobody else knows what we've been through so they wouldn't understand," said Jackson with a bit of finality. But Jinyoung wasn't finished.

"What'll happen if someone comes after you? What if someone wants you and you want them back? Won't you have to leave him behind?" Jinyoung knows he's pushing it but he can't help but want to know.

Jackson pauses and there's something about the way his eyes turn dark and his jaw sags. He looks at Jinyoung and its a pool of mixed emotion Jinyoung can't comprehend. There's anger, fear, hurt, and want? Not want specifically but more like longing. Pleading.

"If there's someone out there who wants me, I hope they never come. I can't abandon him," said Jackson. But Jinyoung could swear he heard him whisper. "Not again."

* * *

The day of the presentation went smoothly and their team was able to pull an A-minus out of the entire affair. Jinyoung could barely keep his eyes open after their first class and found himself dozing off in chemistry class. When the dismissal bell rang, Jinyoung practically ran out the door and nearly ran into Mark who was waiting outside.

"Geez, dude. Do you need to take a piss or something? Don't fly out of the room like that," he laughed, making Jinyoung weak in the knees.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he cleared his throat.

"I was looking for you actually. Since this is your's and Jacky's last class of the day, I was wondering if you and Jaebeom would like to go out with us tonight. We're having dinner at a barbeque to celebrate our grade so you can't say no," Mark smiled.

Jinyoung was about to answer when Jackson pushed past him and threw his arms around Mark nearly knocking the two of them to the ground. He was whining and speaking in another language that Jinyoung recognized as Taiwanese, Mark's mother tongue next to English. As the two headed down the hall, Mark called back to Jinyoung that he'd text him the time and place for their dinner and Jinyoung waved the two off. He made his way to the dorm where Jaebeom had just gotten out of the shower.

"How was practice?" Jinyoung asked before laying on his bed in a huff.

"Hard. This year's coach is no joke," Jaebeom groaned.

Jinyoung's phone chimed and the address and time for their dinner were sent just like he said.

"Well," Jinyoung sat up and showed Jaebeom his phone. "I might have a way to make your day a little better,"

* * *

Jackson's all nerves when Jinyoung and Jaebeom walk into the restaurant. Jinyoung looks amazing as always. Donning a dark brown trench coat, a black hoodie, and sexy Levis. They take their seats and serve drinks while Mark cooks the meat. Jaebeom and Mark converse while Jinyoung milks a bottle of beer and Jackson chews on lettuce. He doesn't want to get drunk due to his low tolerance, but mostly because he doesn't want to say something stupid. It doesn't help that Jinyoung keeps looking at him every few seconds. The other puts down his beer and leans back in his chair to relax and Jackson thinks it's the hottest thing ever.

"Why did you sign up for chemistry?" Jinyoung asks out of the blue and Jackson's a bit taken aback.

"He wants to create his own hair products and dyes. That's also why he's in business admin," says Mark, and Jackson feels betrayed.

"You want to start your own business using hair products?" asks Jinyoung.

"Yeah. What of it?" Jackson asks defensively. 

"Nothing. I think it's cool, that's all," said Jinyoung.

"Liar," Jackson grumbled.

"You wouldn't know that. You don't know me," said Jinyoung and Jackson wishes it were true.

That he didn't know Park Jinyoung, the one who rejected him without even giving him a chance to ask in person. The one who made others believe Jackson was a creep who stalked his lovers night and day and made him go through so much depression to the point of having to see a therapist. He wished he could let go of his want for him. The last thing he wanted was to still be in love with a jerk who ruined his life. The party of four soon decided to call it a night and left the barbeque to head to the bus stop. Jackson was falling a little behind Mark who was walking next to Jaebeom. Leaving Jinyoung to walk next to Jackson.

It was almost annoying how easily they paired up with each other. Jackson wanted to pop right in the middle of the two and make a run for it but he was too full on meat and rice to run at the moment. Not to mention the city lights only made Jinyoung look prettier. For the first time, Jackson saw him without his glasses on. His big dark eyes glistened in the as they walked in silence. When they finally made it to the bus stop, Jinyoung stopped and pulled Jackson aside.

"Jackson, remember when I asked you if you'd accept anyone who came for you?" he asked, his face not letting on that he wasn't being serious and it scared Jackson a bit as he nodded.

"To be honest, I get a little jealous whenever I see you and Mark together. I understand it now, the fact that you two mean a lot to each other. I have someone like that too in my life," he paused to take a breath before continuing. "But I can't stop thinking about you. I can't help but wonder what you're up to when I can't see you. So, if you're willing, would you like to go out with me?"

Jackson could swear on his grandmother's grave that his heart stopped for a full minute. Park Jinyoung was asking him out? The Park Jinyoung who pulled out his heart, ripped it into a million pieces, then shoved it back in again as if nothing happened? Jackson can't think, can't breathe, and can't hear anything aside from the sound of his beating heart. Before he knows it, he's moving in Mark's direction, taking his hand and hailing a taxi. He shoves Mark into the car and closes the door, not even remembering when he told the driver their address, when they got home, or when he got into his bed and started to bawl his eyes out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally got the ball moving! Now time for awkwardness, horniness, angst, and more! Sorry guys I'm just really excited. All the bad luck signs are ones that I faced right before a very bad and unpredictable thing happened to me. No joke. The next chapter will be up (fingers crossed) on Friday. Read it. Pretty Please?  
> Peace!


	4. Day One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry everyone. For personal reasons, I was not able to post anything. Please understand and enjoy chapter 4.

Jackson hasn't spoken to Jinyoung since that night after dinner. Not only does he not speak to him, but he avoids Jinyoung like the plague. The day after, Jackson and Mark sat in the front row on the other side of the room. During chemistry, Jackson switched seats with someone else nowhere near Jinyoung and out of his line of sight. This had been going on for about three days now and Jinyoung is slightly surprised that it bothers him this much. He and Jaebeom had made a deal that night that no matter what, they had to ask the other out right then and there.

"We've been talking to each other for weeks now. We're on level ground with them. Now's the time to break the ice," Jinyoung remembers Jaebeom's words as he makes his way to the cafe.

He greets the familiar faces and takes a seat before his name is called from across the room. He whips his head around and sees Mark standing at the counter and waving him over. Jinyoung can't help but think of the day they first spoke to each other. It was hardly what you'd call a conversation, but for Jinyoung it was a precious moment. Anyone who knew him knew that Jinyoung's heart never fluttered or skipped a beat for anyone other than Jaebeom years ago. The soccer player was his first crush up until he realized Jaebeom was not only too much to handle and that they were too much like brothers to be anything more to each other. 

Jinyoung stands from his seat and heads over to the counter, wondering when on earth did his hands get so freaking sweaty. Mark's smile only beams brighter and Jinyoung's heart starts to ache a bit more. In this cafe, in another time, he wonders how the situation would have been if he were the one to see Mark sitting alone that day and not Jaebeom. He forces the thoughts out of his head as he walks within speaking distance of Mark.

"You're working alone today? Where's Jaebeom?" Mark asks and Jinyoung tries to not feel hurt by the fact that Jaebeom not being there is the only thing he noticed.

"Oh, Jaebeom told me he has soccer practice today so he won't be joining me," said Jinyoung. It wasn't a lie. Jaebeom did have practice that day. But he needed to get Mark off his scent. Any more information and Mark might realize how close they actually are.

Mark only nods and Jinyoung inwardly sighs with relief. 

"Well, do you wanna study with me and Jackson? We're at the window seats right next to you. Jacky's working on his chem homework and I need help with our business admin assignment. Could you help us out a bit?" Mark asks oh so sweetly and Jinyoung's pretty sure he's subtly batting his eyelashes on purpose. 

"Sure. I'll bring my things over there right now. Give me a minute," said Jinyoung as he trotted back to his table to gather his affairs.

Following Mark back to his table, Jinyoung nearly gasped out loud when he saw Jackson. For the first time since they met, Jackson wasn't wearing a hat. His hair color was a shade of dark red, almost brown, that suited him so well it almost made Jinyoung smile. He wore the same concentrated frown on his face like before and his hand was fisted into his red locks the Jaebeom's were whenever he was trying his best to understand something.

That, for some reason, brought the corners of Jinyoung's mouth up a few centimeters. As he sat down, Jackson not even noticing him yet, he quietly set up his things and began going through the assignment. It wasn't until Mark poked the other's side--making him squeak and shut his mouth immediately afterward--that Jackson looked to his left and saw Jinyoung sitting next to him. His eyes went comically wide and Jinyoung smiled once again at the other's flustered face.

They bowed to each other politely before Jackson turned to Mark and started speaking in what he guessed was Taiwanese. Mark was all giggles at one point and Jinyoung could only guess what they were talking about before they got back to work.

"I like your hair color. Did you dye it yourself?" Jinyoung asked, trying to break as much as ice as he could with his weak conversation skills.

Jackson gaped a bit before answering. "How did you know?"

"Mark told us that you make your own hair products and dyes. I guessed that you must've dyed it yourself. It looks nice," said Jinyoung.

"You...you remembered that?" Jackson asked and Jinyoung nodded assuringly. Jackson doesn't speak after that and fully focuses on his work.

It's after a few hours of studying that the three of them leave the cafe and Mark headed to his night class, leaving Jackson and Jinyoung alone. Jinyoung's not sure what to think or say in this situation so he decides to bid Jackson goodbye but the other speaks first.

"Do you wanna eat something with me?" Jackson asks and Jinyoung's taken aback.

"Eat something? Like...have dinner with you?" he asks.

Jackson nods and since Jinyoung is yet again at a loss for words, he stupidly nods too. "Sure. Let's eat,"

* * *

Jinyoung's not surprised when the two of them are standing in front of a Chinese restaurant, two bus trips away from campus. The ambiance of the entire street feels like an old movie set. The place smells of steamed, fried, and boiled goods and even though it was nearly the middle of fall, the whole place is hot. They walk into the establishment and Jackson is greeted by people left and right. A cook comes out from the kitchen and lifts him off the ground in a bear hug and Jinyoung's never seen Jackson smile so brightly. It's beautiful.

Seeing Jackson in his own habitat with his own people makes Jinyoung all fuzzy and warm inside for some reason. After many more reunions, Jackson's attention is brought back to Jinyoung who's awkwardly glued to the entrance. Jackson waves him over and the other nervously makes his way towards him. Jinyoung doesn't stray from Jackson for even a second as he leads him through the slightly crowded area until they reach their table. The waiter gives them menus--which are in Chinese--but Jackson gives them back and tells the waiter something that makes him glance in Jinyoung's direction with somewhat of a knowing smile.

The man is laughing all the way back to the kitchen and Jinyoung has hit the peak of tolerance. He may like the vibe of the place, may like that Jackson's having a good time, and seeing his friends from his country, but he can't understand anything that's actually going on. When they left the campus a while back, Jackson didn't say a word and Jinyoung followed without complaints. But now that he's here with him, seeing the people close to him and the waiter, who seemed to know something about Jinyoung that he himself didn't, is starting to mess with his head. He's not upset, he's just nervous and he wants nothing more than to feel at ease at this point.

"Sorry for dragging you here. I was craving some of my uncle's baozi and thought this would be the best place to talk...about what you said a few days ago," said Jackson.

Jinyoung's interrupted by the waiter who's brought them drinks and some appetizers. The man shoots another glance at Jinyoung, making an "ok" sign with his hand before leaving and making the younger man more anxious. That's when it hit him. The people here think Jinyoung is Jackson's boyfriend. Before Jinyoung can continue his thought, Jackson's talking again.

"I ordered the good stuff. You don't have to worry. Make yourself comfortable, we have a lot of stuff to talk about anyway," said Jackson.

Jinyoung gulped. "What stuff?" he asks stupidly.

"Dude, I just told you. You said you wanted to go out with me because you like me. I'm just checking to see if that's true," Jackson said with a frown and Jinyoung sipped his drink quietly.

"So do you like me?" Jackson asked while knawing on a food Jinyoung didn't know.

"Yes. I like you. That's why I asked you out," Jinyoung stated matter of factly. Jackson nodded.

"What about me exactly?" 

Jinyoung gulped again, this time a bit louder than the last. "Well," He didn't mean to trail off. It just happened. Out of all the talking and planning he and Jaebeom put into this stupid plan--which wasn't more than a week of Jinyoung's life--, the question Jackson was asking him never came to mind. He had to think of something, anything before Jackson read him like an open book. The first thing that came to his head was neither what he wanted to say or what he meant to say, but somewhere along the lines of his lonely loveless heart's deepest desires.

"I want to be taken care of by you. The same way you take care of Mark. I told you last time that I wanted to be in Mark's position with you. The way you care is, I guess, what I like about you," he finished, proudly taking a longer sip of his drink.

Jackson just nods and drinks as well. Their food comes and Jinyoung's happy to have his mouth occupied by the delicious meal. The baozi Jackson spoke of was as appetizing as he'd said. While they ate, Jackson made light conversation. Telling Jinyoung about how he found the place, how he didn't care that he'd have to work late hours on his part-tim job to make enough for two bus rides to the back street. Jinyoung listened and hummed responses every now and then. Jinyoung also told Jackson a little bit about himself--as much as he could divulge without Jaebeom being mentioned--until they were stuffed and ready to leave.

With a full stomach and body a bit dizzy from the alcohol he'd asked for by mistake--Chinese wasn't his forte--Jinyoung walked in tow with Jackson back to the bus station. They walked in comfortable silence, hands in their pockets, and breaths leaving steam in the air. Jinyoung liked this. Liked being with someone who could stand the silence as he did. Whenever it got too quiet in their childhood room or dorm, Jaebeom would either talk to him--not needing an answer--to himself, or turn on the TV to fill in the void. Extraverts are like that but Jinyoung would never hold it against him. Too much.

"You're paying next time," Jackson said out of the blue catching Jinyoung off guard.

"What am I paying for next time?" he asked.

"The food. I paid for it this time, you pay for it next time. It's what couples do. They take turns," said Jackson, his eyes never leaving the road ahead of him.

Jinyoung's mind can't stop replaying the words "what couples do" and before he knows it, his cheeks are heating up. Jackson just called them a _couple_. As in two people in a relationship kind of couple. Then that meant.

"Was what we did just now a date?" Jinyoung's brain is exploding with questions but he settled for the one that was most logical.

Jackson nods. "Yup. Our first date. This is our day one I suppose."

Jinyoung just blinks. At this point, it's all he can do. The two stand in wait for the bus for a few minutes before it arrives and they board. Jinyoung can't stop thinking about Jackson's words. This is their first day as a couple. This is their first day as a couple. He has to rub his chest with the heel of his palm to get his heart rate to slow down before the muscle beats out of his chest.

"Hey, are you okay?" Jackson asks from his spot at the window seat and Jinyoung nods pulling on a fake smile to assure the other.

"Yeah, just some minor heartburn. I'll be fine, don't worry."

Jackson nods but the worried frown doesn't leave his face. Jinyoung's fake smile melts into a real one at the thought of Jackson actually being concerned for his well-being. "I'm fine. I promise. Don't worry about me," he assured once again.

The answer seemed to please Jackson a bit more than the last and he turned to face the window once again. After arriving in town a little past 10 pm, Jinyoung woke up to the sight of Jackson laying on his shoulder. His red hair fell in front of his eyes and mingled with his long lashes, tempting Jinyoung to brush them out of his face for him like he'd never been before. He settles for shaking his shoulder slightly to wake him up.

"Jackson? Jackson, wake up. We're at your apartment street," he said softly.

The other mewled, rubbing his head against Jinyoung's shoulder and pouting--yes, pouting--in his sleep. Jinyoung pressed a hand to his mouth to stop him from laughing out loud and slowly pushed Jackson into a sitting position but Jackson insisted on making Jinyoung his bed for the night and wrapped his arms around Jinyoung's middle, making the other freeze in his spot.

"No, Peaches. Wanna stay with you," Jackson muttered and Jinyoung's memory twitched at the nickname. He'd heard it before but he can't register when or where. Rolling his eyes, Jinyoung gently removed his arms from around his waist, took Jackson's small face into his hands, and slapped him softly on either cheek hoping to get the other to wake up.

"Jackson, you need to wake up. If we don't get off, we'll be left in another town," Jinyoung slapped Jackson a little harder and finally managed to get Jackson to open his sleepy, pretty brown eyes.

Jackson stood abruptly and waited for Jinyoung to get out first so he could pass. When he was off the bus, he waved at Jinyoung's window and went his way. On the trip back to campus, Jinyoung can't help but think that he should have at least walked him to his front door.

* * *

Jinyoung is greeted with one of Jaebeom's fierce bear hugs that nearly topples them both over in the small foyer. The older is jumping and cheering and Jinyoung can only guess what made the twenty-five-year-old man-child so happy. When Jaebeom finally managed to calm down, the two sat on Jinyoung's bed as Jaebeom spilled his beans.

"Mark and I are official! We're going on our first date tomorrow, just the two of us. I canceled on my team for this but I'm sure they won't mind. I'm gonna find the best barbeque in Seoul and treat him until he can't take anymore. Then we'll go to the mall and I'll buy him some clothes. And then, to an amusement park so I can be with him through all the crazy rides,"

As Jaebeom continues to talk about the wonderful day he'll have with his future partner, Jinyoung's heart sinks to the floor then back up again in a vicious circle. While he was with Jackson, eating and drinking in the backstreet restaurant and riding on the bus back to his apartment, his mind was occupied with thoughts of only the Chinese man. His laugh, his smile, his voice when he was being serious, and when he was being kind. The soft snores as he rested on his shoulder, the little pout he made when Jinyoung tried to wake him up. And the nickname. The bloody nickname that Jinyoung refuses to rack his brain by trying to remember.

But as he settles back into the reality of it all, he remembers that Mark and Jaebeom are at the center of their "relationship." That at the end of the day, Jinyoung's job is to keep Jackson away from Mark so that his brother can be with the person he likes. The guilt begins to settle but is swept back up when Jaebeom finally asks him where he's been all this time.

"Me? I was...with Jackson," Jinyoung mumbled and started busying himself by looking for his pajama bottoms.

"With Jackson for this long? What were you two doing?" Jaebeom asks and Jinyoung can hear the curiosity in his tone escalate.

"We uh...we went on a date. It's our day one, he said," said Jinyoung nonchalantly. 

Jaebeom gasps. "Dude, for real? You got him to like you? Not only that but _he_ said it's your day one?"

Jinyoung hums a response before Jaebeom leaps on his back, cheering, "My baby brother's finally in a relationship! I'm so proud of you, you little peach!"

It hits Jinyoung like a punch to the gut but the fog around his memory blocks it once again. Peaches. It was written on a plastic note binder while he was in freshman year. Or maybe an...arm? Jinyoung can't remember whether it was a tattoo or someone's careless handwriting. All he remembers it how much it made his stomach turn and his head spin and he has to throw Jaebeom off his back to go to the bathroom before he pukes all over the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably should have tagged this story with "Minor PTSD" or something. Sorry that's it's kind of short and kind of crappy. I'll write a better one next time. Next update's on Thursday...I hope. Thanks for reading.😘


	5. What Other Couples Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone still there? So sorry that it's been so long since I've updated. To be honest, I got a little bored with the story and wanted to write something else but decided against it. Even though I really want to keep posting every four days as I used to, my lifestyle and brain space just can't allow it. I'm sorry guys, but from now on, I'll only post when I can. I hope that doesn't turn you guys off. I do fully intend to finish this story, no matter how long it takes. That being said, enjoy chapter 5, everyone!

It's been a month and a half since Jackson and Jinyoung have been going out together and to Jackson's surprise, it's not at all how he thought it would be. When he was daydreaming about the younger man and being his lifelong partner, Jackson saw them going on cheesy romantic dates, playing at the arcade, long walks in the dark, or just hanging out on Jinyoung's bed with Jackson's head in his lap while Jinyoung stroked his hair and all his worries away. It had been a dream that never fully left Jackson's mind and the fact that his present dating life with Jinyoung isn't matching up to it, irks him. While other couples actually do the things that Jackson thought of--but wouldn't dare say out loud--he and Jinyoung would share meals, study, and text at the end of the day to say their goodnights and that'd be all.

In a summary, Jackson was not in the least bit satisfied with how his relationship, in particular, wasn't going as he envisioned it. He would have confided all his insecurities in his brother but Mark had become so busy with his new boyfriend, Jinyoung's roommate. The captain of the school's soccer team--and apparently the campus heartbreaker--, Im Jaebeom. Nothing irked him more than to see Mark lying on his bed while talking to Jaebeom for hours before going to sleep and seeing the two get all cute and cuddly in class while Jinyoung simply focused on his work, not sparing Jackson more than five minutes of his time. Jackson knows he's not like other guys. That most people wouldn't picture someone like Jinyoung going out with someone like him.

Jackson was too bold for his own good, pretty shameless, and next to impossible to talk to if he carried even the slightest grudge against someone. He knew he had flaws in his character, but Jinyoung had told him, the first time he asked him out, that he liked him despite these things. It's true that Jackson didn't fully believe him when he said it, but the fact that Jinyoung hasn't been making any moves to change his perspective on the older is worrisome. Jackson can't help but scribble stress circles in his notepad during their study group at the cafe--that's mostly Jinyoung studying, Jackson over thinking his life choices, and Jaebeom and Mark looking at Mark's phone and laughing every five seconds before looking into each other's eyes as if they could see constellations swimming in them.

His pencil breaks and an unintended whine escapes his mouth before he can think to stop it. Jinyoung glances up from his work and stares from the paper full of dark moons, the broken piece of lead, to Jackson's pouty face. Jackson scratches his newly dyed hair--a bright orange hue that Jinyoung said he liked because it brought out his eyes--, embarrassed after doing such a stupid thing in front of the beautiful, perfect, and mature Park Jinyoung, who was obviously upset that he wasn't studying and wasting his time. To his surprise, Jinyoung didn't scold him, but simply took the pencil from Jackson and sharpened it then passed it back and continued his work. Gestures like this always confused Jackson. Some days, it'd feel like Jinyoung forgot Jackson existed and others, he'd handle even the smallest things for him.

Jackson mumbles a thank you then goes back to scribbling before he feels a warm palm on his forearm. The contact is so sudden and unexpected that Jackson jumps and clings to Mark out of habit, turning the other's attention to him and only him in a split second. Jinyoung has his hand up and is slowly backing away when Jackson realizes that he's done something stupid again and reaches out to grab his fingers in a death grip. The table is silent and Jackson wishes Jaebeom and Mark would just go back to watching stupid things on their phones so they wouldn't have to witness Jackson being an awkward mess in public. Jinyoung blinks about a dozen times before he looks at the position of their hands and _smiles_. Jackson's heart skips several beats as Jinyoung twists his wrist out of Jackson's hold and interlocks their finger together.

"Is this what you were going for?" He asks so cooley while Jackson's still fighting to breathe. 

He and Jinyoung have never held hands before. Jinyoung's unnaturally soft palm fits into his almost perfectly, Jackson's being slightly smaller and rougher. Jackson keeps looking back from Jinyoung's eyes to their hands until he becomes uncomfortable with how _comfortable_ Jinyoung's hand is and breaks them apart hurriedly. He's about to pick his abused pencil and paper but Jinyoung's hand is making contact with his again and Jackson has to fight the urge to run to Mark again. Jinyoung looks at him with a small frown and what Jackson can swear up and down is a pout.

"Why do you keep drawing those circles instead of working? Are you tired? Do you want us to stop?" Jinyoung asks in a honey voice and concern dripping in his tone.

Jackson shakes his head violently. "No, I'm good. I barely studied and we haven't even been here that long. I can work for a few more hours. Don't worry," said Jackson.

Jinyoung nods as he slowly lets go of Jackson's hand and Jackson can finally breathe again. His palm itches, missing the new form of physical contact he just received seconds ago, so he grabs Mark's to make up for it. The other not being bothered at all. For the next few hours, the four of them study. Jinyoung helps the two idiot lovebirds while Jackson silently scribbles away on his own until his watch starts beeping, reminding him that's it's time for his shift. He packs his things hurriedly but is stopped by that warm palm on his arm again and glances over to see Jinyoung's confused face.

"You're not leaving without us are you?" he asks almost humorously. 

"Uh, I have the night shift tonight. I have to catch the bus before it leaves, so," Jackson lets the sentence hang and bows slightly to Jinyoung and kisses Mark's hair before leaving.

* * *

"Where does Jackson work?" Jinyoung asks, feeling a bit stupid for not knowing that his "boyfriend" not only had a job but worked the night shift.

"At a Chinese restaurant across town. He works there Friday through Sunday," Mark responded.

The backstreet. Jackson never told him he worked there. Was it supposed to be obvious? Jinyoung wonders while flicking his pencil and locks eyes with Jaebeom. The monkey in question is making "subtle" gestures, instructing Jinyoung to follow Jackson. He guesses. Jinyoung packs his things and says goodbye before running out the door to see if he could catch up with Jackson. He runs all the way to the bus stop where he sees the other standing in line as people board. Using his last bits of energy, Jinyoung runs to Jackson and grabs his hand, since it's the first thing he could grab and holds it tight. What he doesn't expect is the lighting-fast slap to the face he received from the owner of the hand. Jinyoung sees stars for a second before he hears Jackson's millions upon millions of apologies.

Rough warm hands are cupping his cheeks as he tries to regain consciousness and he's enveloped in dark brown orbs full of worry. _Jackson has the prettiest eyes_ , is all he can think about for a second before coming back to his senses, and nodding to signify he was okay. Jackson's hands roamed his face, checking every corner to make sure that he didn't leave any bruises before he just let them sit there on Jinyoung's cold cheeks. Jinyoung would be lying if he said this didn't feel amazing. Or more like, just right. He and Jackson seemed to fit so well together, despite Jinyoung not actually being attracted to him aside from the fact that Jackson's face was pleasing to the eyes. Jackson's thumbs start to run under Jinyoung's eyelids and down his cheeks when he realizes what he's doing and removes them so quickly, Jinyoung almost whines out loud.

"Sorry, sorry. Force of habit. I do that whenever Mark's--," Jackson trails off, and Jinyoung's about to ask when they hear the bus doors close. Jackson knocks repeatedly until the driver opens the doors and they're allowed entrance. Jinyoung right behind him as they find available seats. But to Jinyoung's surprise, Jackson doesn't sit next to him but rather stands.

"Why won't you sit? There's an extra spot for you if you want," said Jinyoung patting the seat next to him.

"It's fine. When I sit, I fall asleep and tend to end up farther away from my destination than I had planned," Jackson says while rubbing the back of his neck. "It's best if I stand."

"If you're tired, you can lean on my shoulder to sleep," Jinyoung says effortlessly and is a bit taken aback by his own suggestion.

Jackson pauses, looking Jinyoung in the eye for a second as if trying to guess if he meant what he was saying or not. In the end, he shook his head and gripped the safety handle tighter as the bus began to move. Jinyoung wonders what he did wrong. As a "couple", doing something like this wasn't supposed to be awkward or uncomfortable for either one of them. So why was Jackson acting as if Jinyoung was still a total stranger to him? After all the effort Jinyoung put into getting him to go out with him, forgetting about his feelings for Mark, and putting his friendship with Jaebeom above all else, seeing Jackson treat him like he doesn't exist drives a knife into his gut. Before he can open his mouth to speak, Jackson's already talking.

"Why are you on this bus anyway? I wouldn't have had to slap you if you didn't grab my hand like that...as if you knew I was gonna be here."

The way Jackson says it makes it clear to Jinyoung that the older's got the wrong idea of his actions.

"Mark said that you worked in the backstreet at the restaurant you took me to on our first date. I wanted to see you off to work. You know, since we're a couple and all," Jinyoung answers rather lamely.

Jackson quirks an eyebrow. "You wanted to see me off to work? Because we're a couple?"

Jinyoung gulps. "Yes. Yes, I did."

"Couples don't usually do this though," Jackson counters.

"Well," Jinyoung takes a moment to think carefully on his next words. "we're not like other couples. We don't do what other couples do."

In a way it's true and it hits Jinyoung for the first time since this stupid plan got into motion that he and Jackson shouldn't even be dating. That Jaebeom should've just been a man and dated Mark in secret or something instead of dragging the innocent Jackson into this mess. Jinyoung knows how smart Jackson is. It wouldn't take much for the other to realize that their relationship wasn't natural. Wasn't real, and that the two of them didn't suit each other at all. Jinyoung feels like now would be a good time to stop. Jaebeom and Mark are officially a couple now. Jinyoung and Jaebeom's relationship has been kept secret for a durable amount of time, so even if they become "close"--in Jackson and Mark's eyes--Jackson and Jinyoung breaking up wouldn't destroy Mark's and Jaebeom's relationship. Jackson deserved better.

The bus makes it to its final stop and Jackson boards another one, Jinyoung following close behind without actually knowing why. They ride together in silence. Jackson still standing and Jinyoung staring out the window, forming steam on the glass. Jackson's dropped off at the entrance of the backstreet and Jinyoung climbs off with him to say goodbye.

"I'll text you when I get home. Text me before you go to sleep?" Jackson asked and Jinyoung nods. He turns to head for the road but stops midstep. Turning back to Jackson with a question that wouldn't stop bugging him. 

"Why didn't you tell me you worked here? It makes more sense, now that I think about it, that everyone knew who you were when you walked in," said Jinyoung.

Jackson shifted awkwardly as he stood and looked away from Jinyoung's eyes as he spoke. "Because I thought it was lame," he answered quietly.

"What was lame?" asked Jinyoung.

Jackson sighed. "That I was taking you on our first date to the place where I work. I should've planned it better, but it was the first place that came to mind since it's so important to me."

Jackson finally looks Jinyoung in the eye and Jinyoung can see the pool of honesty and doubt in Jackson's warm brown orbs. It's another punch in the face and a twist of the knife in his gut when he realizes it. Jackson likes him. Really likes him. Not only that, but he gets nervous when he shows him things that are near and dear to him or when talks about his feelings. This kills Jinyoung even more. They can't go on like this. He can't be in a fake relationship with someone who's already shown him something that means _something_ to them. Jinyoung had no right. Jackson once again beats him to the first word.

"Do you actually like me?" he asks, his voice a bit shakey and Jinyoung doesn't know what to say. "I know I've never said it, but I like you too. A lot actually."

"Jackson," Jinyoung tries to interrupt but Jackson keeps going.

"I know how different I am. I know I'm probably not your type or style. I know that if anyone would date someone like me, it's probably because they lost a bet or something. Because God knows, I wouldn't date me either," says Jackson and Jinyoung can see his eyes fill up despite the darkness around them.

"So, if you want out, that's fine. I get it. But just remember that you told me you liked me first. What you said on the bus really made me think about what we are and where we are right now. We've been going out for a month but we haven't made any progress since then. We talk during class, study with Mark and Jaebeom, and only eat lunch together, with a text before bed. I'm not trying to rush you, but that's not how pictured a relationship with you would be."

Jinyoung swallows hard before speaking. "And what did you picture your relationship with me would be like?"

Jackson sniffs hard and lets out a foggy breath before speaking as if gathering the courage to say what he wants to say. "Someone holding me and me holding them. Cheesy dates, long night walks, or just," he pauses and makes a few steps towards Jinyoung until he's entered his personal space bubble. "lying in bed with you. Being as gross and cheesy as we wanna be without anyone judging us. That's what I want."

Jinyoung still isn't sure what made him reach out to grab Jackson's face and bring both of them in a warm kiss, but as soon as their lips met, he couldn't think about anything else besides Jackson's soft thin lips resting on his. Jackson's hands rest on Jinyoung's hips and his fingers tangle in his overcoat tightly as if to keep the other form escape. Not that Jinyoung actually wants to. Jackson opens his mouth and Jinyoung's granted access to roam inside it freely. His tongue skates over Jackson's teeth, the roof of his mouth, and then back onto his lips. Jackson's nibbles Jinyoung's lower lip ever so softly as Jinyoung cards his finger through Jackson's hair, bringing the other closer to deepen the kiss. They only separate to catch their breath, fog blinding them for a moment until they can breathe through their nostrils again. Jackson's smiling, his nose scrunched so cutely and eyes like little crescents on his face.

"Something like that?" Jinyoung asked, still trying to wrap his head around what on earth he'd just done.

"Hmm. Something like that. Just like that," Jackson says before leaning up to claim Jinyoung's lips once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hate posting short chapters but I just don't have time to post long ones. Again, so sorry guys. On another note, does anyone know how I can get a beta? Does anyone know how betas work? If so please comment below. See y'all with chapter 6!


	6. Insecurities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I wanna apologize for this chapter taking so freaking long to update. I was seriously struggling with this one. Second, I wanna say thank you to the 101 users and guests who left kudos! You the real MVP! Finally, I'm fixing a mistake I made in a previous chapter; Mark and Jackson are foster siblings, not stepbrothers. Sorry for the mix-up. A bit of mild sexual content. I don't go into detail because I can't write smut to save my life. Enjoy!

The sunny and breezy weather soon turned chilly and cloudy as the weeks turned into months and winter was on its way. Jinyoung loves the cold weather more than any other since it gives him an excuse to wear as many layers as he wants without being labeled a weirdo.

As he makes his way to the now-familiar cafe near the campus, the smell of pumpkin spice, french vanilla, and freshly grounded coffee beans permeating his senses, he can feel a burst of something he can't quite describe flood his insides when he sees Jackson sitting at their usual spot. His oversized glasses making his face look even smaller along with the beanie that's covered every inch of his hair.

Jinyoung quickly makes his way to him, finding himself more and more eager to be at Jackson's side as the time they spent together branched from four weeks to four months. In that supposedly long amount of time, Jinyoung's studied Jackson inside out. Learned his habits, his likes and dislikes--which is made of the most surprising things--, but mostly his untamed ability to talk for more than three hours.

Jinyoung finds himself thankful for tea and honey in the morning whenever he and Jackson have talked nearly all night long about nothing particularly important.

Just hearing the other speak--Jackson mostly wondering why kdramas must be so sad or predictable--and feeling the other's presence even if Jackson's apartment was a fifteen-minute walk from the dorm rooms. Jackson's on his phone, his brow furrowed and lips making a subtle pout as he scrolls every few seconds.

Jinyoung places his bag in the seat next to him, already used to the fact that Jackson's concentration walls can't be broken by even his own boyfriend. He sits and waits, laying his head on his arms on the table, and just stares at the man.

At his small fingers that clutch his phone. His other hand sitting under his chin for support and his big brown eyes scanning every inch of the screen as if his life depended on it. It makes Jinyoung a little jealous if he were being completely honest. That something other than himself is taking up Jackson's precious attention and he sits up to take a peek at his competition.

He doesn't get to see much before Jackson's screen goes black and the cutest frown known to man is etched on the cutest creature on the planet's face.

"No peeking. It's a surprise," Jackson states before leaning in to give Jinyoung's lips a quick peck.

"A surprise for who? It'd better be for me," he taunts playfully as he interlocks his and Jackson's fingers together. Another thing he's become unnaturally used to.

"What are you gonna do about it if it's not?" Jackson counters, his signature Squirtle smile plastered on his already adorable features and Jinyoung doesn't know what to say.

"It's not for me?" Jinyoung pouts and Jackson pinches his cheek with a laugh.

"Yes, Nyoungie. It's for you. But don't ask me what it is. I shouldn't have even told you that you were getting a present, but if you don't know what it is, it still counts as a surprise." said Jackson.

Jinyoung can feel his smile reach his eyes and he can't help but kiss those beautiful thins lips. If it hadn't been for Jinyoung's mother's persistent phone calls asking him what he wanted for his birthday, Jinyoung would have forgotten about the day altogether.

To know that Jackson not only knows it but is planning a surprise for Jinyoung makes him lighthearted and he presses against Jackson's mouth, asking for access to his tongue. Jackson obliges and Jinyoung sneaks inside Jackson's warm mouth while Jackson runs a hand through Jinyoung's hair. His body coming up against Jinyoung's as he does.

There's an exaggerated "ahem" that breaks their kiss and the new barista that Jinyoung has come to hate with a vengeance known as Yugyeom is staring down at them with a disgusted look on his face. At first glance, one would think Yugyeom was homophobic, but Jinyoung knew that the kid was dating that crazy guy--BamBam was it?--and that he stared down at them this way solely because he hated Jinyoung.

"What do you want Yugyeom?" Jinyoung says his name like it's poisonous. 

Yugyeom rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, continuing to be shamelessly rude to his elders. "Sunbae, you and your boyfriend are being inappropriate in a civil establishment. If you keep up this shameless vulgarity, I'll have to ask you both to leave the building," said Yugyeom and it made Jinyoung wonder if he could sacrifice Jackson's gift for a chance to punch the little brat in his long nose.

"It doesn't seem like we're bothering anyone," said Jackson taking in the number of no more than ten customers including him and Jinyoung who were immersed in their own business.

Yugyeom let out an exaggerated sigh with an eye roll on the side before opening his petite mouth again. "That's only because people are afraid of being branded homophobic if they ask you to stop. You should think of the comfort of others before you satisfy your own sexual desires. It's common courtesy." 

Yeah, Jinyoung really wants to punch this kid. "I hope you two can be more considerate in the future, or I'll have to report you for disorderly conduct in a place of business." With that, Yugyeom strutted back to the front counter, leaving the older two dumbfounded.

"For what reason exactly does he hate us?" Jackson asked, his tone agitated. 

Jinyoung sighs. "He hates me because I reported him for bringing drugs to a campus party last year. He hates you because you associate with me."

Jackson nods in understanding and glares in Yugyeoms direction. "I don't wanna be here anymore. Let's go to my place."

* * *

When Jackson said he wanted to go to his place, Jinyoung had expected their normal routine. They'd talk for about an hour while waiting on the food Jackson ordered, watch a movie, and talk some more while being human eggrolls in Jackson's winter blanket. But as soon as the two were in the foyer--Jackson shouting Mark's name as if to check if the coast was clear--, Jinyoung was being pressed against the wall.

His lips were being assaulted by Jackson's and Jackson's thigh was in between his legs and rubbing his crotch. Jinyoung doesn't have a chance to assess the situation before he's kissing back and moaning into Jackson's mouth as the rubbing intensifies. Jackson's fingers start to unzip Jinyoung's jacket then attack his button, only to have to pull out his tucked in turtle neck from his jeans.

"How many layers do you wear?" asked Jackson, nibbling on Jinyoung's earlobe. "You should just walk around with no clothes on. It'd save us a lot of time," Jackson chuckled.

His lips came into contact with Jinyoung's neck and he sucked and nibbled like a leach. But Jinyoung felt so good. The two of them hadn't ever really made it to third base, always settling for blowjobs while shirtless, intense make-out sessions or nipple play just to get the two of them off.

It's not like they were afraid to have sex, it's just that when it came to positions, things became brutally awkward. To the point of their erections shrinking and the mood gone as if it had never been there.

Jinyoung's a top. He's known that since he came out almost ten years ago. But his only experience of being a dom was with a girl he'd made the stupid mistake of giving his virginity to. They were too young to understand what exactly they were doing and it ended up being the night that Jinyoung will always regret the most.

Being with a man, especially the one he was in a solid relationship with, was a whole other situation. He may have been overthinking it, but the thought of making Jackson uncomfortable was too much to handle. Jinyoung wanted his and Jackson's first time to be memorable, true, but not for the wrong reasons.

What if Jackson never bottomed before and he forced him to do so because he couldn't stand the thought of something going up inside him through his most sacred spot? As much as he wanted to outright ask Jackson what position he wanted to play, he couldn't help the worry of having to play sub.

It was just one of those things that he didn't want to worry about until someone else did. Hopefully, it wasn't Jackson. The two managed to get past the foyer, the tiny kitchen, and finally--after accidentally landing in Mark's room--made it to Jackson's bed and they crashed in a heap of sheets and Jackson's silly giggles. Jackson’s on top of Jinyoung, straddling his hips and grinding down ever so slowly as he cranes his neck down to kiss his boyfriend.

Jinyoung’s hands manage to find the hem of his shirt and he tugs upward until the black tee is over Jackson’s head and on the ground, forgotten. Both of them continue to kiss each other nice and slow, just enjoying the taste of their lips pressed together with passion and desire. Jackson trails down from Jinyoung’s lips to his neck, and finally settle on his collarbone.

Jinyoung leans up to nip at Jackson’s shoulder as the other gets lower and lower down Jinyoung’s revealed skin. He leaves a trail of peppered kisses from Jinyoung’s collarbone to his bellybutton, letting the pubic hairs that stick out eagerly from his denim jeans tickle his chin in the process.

“Nyoungie, sit up for me. Wanna see you while I suck you off,” said Jackson. His voice, deep and lustful.

Jinyoung complied, sitting up with ease while Jackson got down on his knees and began unzipping Jinyoung’s fly. His small fingers moved quickly to undo the jeans before he was pushing Jinyoung back onto the bed so he could get the seat of his pants out from under him.

This part was always the most awkward in Jinyoung’s opinion. He felt so vulnerable whenever Jackson pulled off his pants like he was ready to ram into him until the sun rose. Being under Jackson’s control wasn’t something he fantasized about, but he’d be lying if—whenever the dark thought was to invade his mind for a few seconds—he said he didn’t find it intriguing as much as it was intimidating.

Jackson tugged just past Jinyoung’s rear and sat Jinyoung back up as he took his leaking cock into his mouth. Jinyoung moaned, his head thrown back, mouth slightly open in ecstasy as his fingers slid through Jackson’s hair, urging the other to take as much of his cock into Jackson’s wet warmth.

“Oh, yeah, Jackson. Just like that, baby,” Jinyoung praised him softly.

It seemed to encourage Jackson’s movements and soon he was driving Jinyoung over the edge. Tongue swiveling and throat closing over Jinyoung’s length like a pro. Jinyoung lifted Jackson’s head so he could see the face he loved seeing get recked on his cock. And sure enough, it was there.

Tear tracks ran down the corner of Jackson’s eyes as he continued to suck Jinyoung until the other was a writhing mess of moans and arches. Jackson didn’t move until every drop of come was safely stored in his mouth and eventually down his throat. When Jinyoung had finally come back to himself, Jackson was already standing and pumping his hardening cock.

“Somebody’s excited,” said Jinyoung, taking Jackson’s length from him and using the precum as a lubricant.

Jinyoung didn’t like giving blowjobs. Even though he did like receiving them from Jackson, he just couldn’t fathom how someone could put in their mouth what someone else uses to piss and cum. Cum eating was also another fascination that Jinyoung couldn’t comprehend. As much as he loved seeing Jackson enjoy himself on his cock, he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to do it himself.

In return for Jackson blowing him, Jinyoung pumps Jackson’s dick and plays with his oh so sensitive nipples until the other comes all over both of them. Jackson takes his position on Jinyoung’s lap as Jinyoung starts attacking his cute tits relentlessly. Jackson’s fingers card through his hair as the softest moans escape his lips. Jinyoung has a hand supporting his back and another jerking him off at breakneck speed.

“Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Yes,” Jackson moans, no longer being able to sit up straight and he falls onto Jinyoung’s shoulders as he reaches his climax mere minutes later. Splattering white substance onto both their stomachs.

* * *

It was random, unexpected, and Jinyoung felt like his bank account might actually yell at him later. But it couldn't be helped. Was Jinyoung a spontaneous romantic who couldn't care less about money, school, or common sense while picking something sweet and exciting to do for his and his boyfriend's 100 day anniversary? No.

Did Jinyoung drag Jackson out of bed one night and tell him if they didn't hurry they'd miss their flight to Jeju island for a couples' weekend getaway? Yes. That he did. Jackson slept for the entirety of the short plane ride and slept some more in the taxi that they rode to their hotel. To be completely honest, this whole trip was Jaebeom's idea.

The older man reminded Jinyoung that it'd soon be his and Mark's 100 day anniversary. Something--with how their plan had gone for the past four months--that neither of them imagined they'd make it to. Jaebeom told him that he was taking Mark to Jeju over the weekend so they could celebrate their milestone and Jinyoung since he didn't have many options--and due to being the worst boyfriend ever--, decided to tag along with the idea.

Jackson was somewhat awake when they arrived at their hotel. His eyes barely opened and his head never leaving its spot on Jinyoung's shoulder with his hands gripping Jinyoung's bicep for support. Once they entered their room though, the human puppy looked like a kid in a candy store. Or a puppy in the treats aisle. He gasped and laughed at nearly every little thing, checking the entire suit before circling back to hug and kiss Jinyoung.

"Why didn't you tell me you were doing something like this? It makes my present look meaningless," Jackson pouts.

"Don't worry," said Jinyoung planting a kiss on Jackson's forehead. "I was kind of flying by the seat of my pants with this one. I'm sure your gift won't lose any value because of this."

The two share a laugh before sharing another kiss.

About four hours later, Jackson and Jinyoung are at the aquarium. Something Jackson had apparently wanted to try out for the longest time. Seeing fish from the other side of a twenty-inch thick glass wall wasn't exactly Jinyoung's idea of romantic, but seeing Jackson's smile in full force at all the different creatures passing by brought warmth to Jinyoung's heart.

Jackson dragged Jinyoung throughout the entire aquarium until they reached the manta rays, Jackson's favorite sea creature. As Jinyoung took pictures of the happy man, he couldn't help but compare him to the little boy who was standing next to Jackson and pointing at the rays. Even making the same sounds like him. Jackson pointed out the other fish to the small boy and made exaggerated sounds of awe.

The child looked at Jackson like he'd grown two heads but when Jackson started to speak Chinese, the child smiled. Only Jackson Wang could make friends with a six-year-old in less than five minutes. Jackson picks the boy up in his arms as the two share a conversation in their native tongue and Jinyoung doesn't think he'll ever get the picture of Jackson holding a child in his arms out of his head.

The boy points to a man and another woman coming towards them with exhausted smiles on their faces. They must've been looking for the kid for God knows how long. Jackson places the boy on the ground and he runs to his mother and points to Jackson. Jinyoung guesses that he's telling his parents about the other Chinese man in the building and a smile tugs at his lips.

It immediately fades away when he takes a glance at Jackson who's turned into a frozen solid white sheet next to him. Bullets of sweat litter his forehead, his hands begin to tremble and he starts to slowly back away, shaking his head and mumbling something Jinyoung can't decipher. Before he can get out of reach and hurt himself, Jinyoung grabs his wrist and pulls him closer to his side.

"Jackson, what's wrong? Are you okay? Are you feeling sick? What's going on?" Jinyoung asked, trying not to freak out too much.

"Excuse me? I wanted to thank you for finding my son. My wife and I had been looking everywhere for him," came the boy's father's voice from behind Jinyoung and he gave him a hurried nod and a bow.

"Don't mention it. It was more like he found us instead of the opposite," said Jinyoung, trying hard not to be too startled by the way Jackson clings to the material of Jinyoung's sweater like a lifeline.

"I'm sorry but is your friend alright?" The man asks with concern and Jinyoung can feel Jackson's trembling intensify. 

"He'll be fine. We were planning on leaving soon anyway. Please have a good rest of your day," Jinyoung bowed and held Jackson by his shoulders as they left the building.

The entire taxi ride back to their hotel room consisted of Jackson trembling in Jinyoung's arms and mumbling words Jinyoung couldn't understand. He held his hand in his the entire ride back until they were safe inside their room and he had Jackson sitting on the bed. He rushed into the small kitchen and got him a glass of water and Jackson received it with shaking hands.

After finishing the glass in a few gulps, Jackson began to bawl his eyes out. Jinyoung had seen Jackson cry before. Maybe a stray tear would fall down his cheek while they were watching a sad movie. But he'd never seen him like this. He was curled in on himself, legs brought up to his chest and face hidden between his knees as he shook with sobs.

"Jackson, what's wrong? Sweetheart, you gotta tell so I can fix it. Won't you tell me?" Jinyoung asked, rubbing Jackson's legs and arms and trying to comfort his boyfriend.

What happened? What went so horribly wrong for Jackson to turn up this way after their day was going so well? Jinyoung had never seen Jackson look so afraid and helpless like he did moments ago. Jackson wasn't like this. He didn't break as easily as most people did. Whenever something difficult was in his path, he'd work a way around the problem until he came out victorious. He'd never claim defeat. Was it the boy? His parents? His father?

His father. 

Jinyoung couldn't help but compare the little boy's father's face to Jackson's. The unique shape of Jackson's eyes, his straight nose that curled slightly at the tip, their thin lips, and even the way Jackson smiled. Everything matched. Jinyoung's heart pounded in his chest as he took Jackson's sobbing face in his hands.

"Jackson," he swallowed. "Did you know that man? Who is he to you? Please, tell me."

Jackson just cried all the more and Jinyoung had his response. He took Jackson in his arms and laid them both on the bed while Jackson sobbed for hours, repeating the words "he didn't recognize me" on a loop. When his sobs subsided, Jackson began to speak.

"He...he is...he was...my dad," he choked, his voice half muffle from Jinyoung's shirt. He looked up at Jinyoung, eyes still wet and lids rimmed red from crying. "I'm sorry, Jinyoung. I don't think...I don't think I can talk about it right now. I really...really don't want to talk it right now."

Jinyoung nodded and kissed Jackson's wet cheeks, taking the time to wipe his tears before pulling him close to his chest once again. Nearly squeezing the life out of him as if to protect him from any more pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I think it's safe to say that the person who's gonna suffer the most in this story is Jackson. Sorry guys. Please excuse any mistakes. Wrote this in a rush. See you around with chapter 7...whenever that may be.  
> Peace!


	7. Hold Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise update!! And it's long!! I was feeling generous. You're welcome. Okay, this is fluff guys. Yes, there's some more pain, a hint of smut, but fluff all the same. Aaaaaand plot twist! If there's anything I'm good at in writing, it's plot twists. Heeheeheeheehee. If you don't notice it, it's fine. Enjoy!

Jackson's eyelids feel like lead as he tries to pry them open. Once he's adjusted to the dimmed glow of the hotel room, he slowly turns to lie on his back and stares at the ceiling, trying his best not to cry. Again. Never in a million years did Jackson think that he'd end up being face to face with the man he once called father. Tears slide down his cheeks only to be swept away as quickly as they came when Jackson hears Jinyoung's voice. 

He's at the end of the bed standing in front of the large glass door to the balcony with his phone pressed to his ear. Jackson sits up until his back is settled against the headboard and waits for Jinyoung to turn around. His throat feels too raw from crying to utter a sound. Jinyoung's nodding and chewing his thumbnail the way he always does when he's nervous or frustrated about something. He made Jinyoung feel that way.

He's making Jinyoung anxious and worried and maybe the person on the other end worried as well. Jackson gasped silently, hoping to God that the person Jinyoung was talking to wasn't Mark. If he knew his brother at all, he'd stop whatever plans he was having with Jaebeom and come to Jackson's side, happily sticking to him like glue for the remainder of their time here. And Mark didn't deserve that. No more than Jinyoung deserved this.

The two of them deserved to be happy with people who didn't make themselves the center of their lives like Jackson did. Always managing to throw a pity party everywhere he went like a pathetic teenager. Thanks to his breakdown, Jinyoung's birthday and their anniversary are ruined. Just because he couldn't get his crap together like a decent human being. He feels another tear escape him and he swipes it away viciously before looking up to see Jinyoung turning in his direction.

The other--because he's so freaking perfect and way out of Jackson's league--looks at him with a soft and genuine smile before telling the person on the other line he was hanging up. He shoves his phone back into his pocket and walks over to the bed, sitting on the edge next to Jackson and running a thumb under Jackson's eye.

"Did you sleep well? Your face must be sore from all the crying you did," he said ever so gently and Jackson found himself leaning into Jinyoung's touch. Holding his hand in place so he could plant a kiss on his inner thumb.

"What time is it?" Jackson asks, truly concerned about how much time Jinyoung had wasted on him today.

"It's around 6 pm. You must be hungry," said Jinyoung. 

Jackson sighed, using the sleeve of his oversized sweater to wipe his nose before falling sideways onto the other side of the bed. Jinyoung falling down in front of him. He looked so pretty like this. His hair cascaded on the bedsheets, brown eyes sparkling even in the dimmed room. His delicate hand wrapped securely around Jackson's. Jackson felt safe but also undeserving of such affection.

"I'm sorry I ruined our trip," he mumbled with a sniff.

Jinyoung's free hand swept down his cheek and rested under his chin. "You didn't ruin our trip. And besides, who says we won't have other trips to look forward to in the future? It's not like I'm gonna dump you, so don't worry about it. About anything."

Jackson wanted to bawl again at Jinyoung's words. "Are you not even gonna ask me to tell you about...him?"

Jinyoung looked down at their hands, seemingly pondering before answering Jackson's question. "You'll tell me when you're ready. For now, let's get you something to eat. You haven't eaten in the past few hours and that doesn't sit well with me. Go take a shower, I'll order some food," said Jinyoung planting a kiss on Jackson's forehead before sitting the two of them up.

Jackson went to the bathroom and did what he was told. As the warm bullets of water hit his skin, he tries his best not to think about the little boy he'd met that morning. It terrified him, slightly, how easily the child had accepted him even though he was a stranger. Maybe blood really does speak. He scrubs his skin until he feels clean enough, turns off the showerhead, and throws a towel around his waist and over his head.

Stepping out of the tub, he sees a sweatshirt and matching sweatpants with a pair of boxers laid out and ready for him on the bed and feels heat flood his cheeks. Jinyoung prepared clothes for him. Could Jackson be anymore undeserving of such an amazing boyfriend? He puts the clothes on quickly and makes his way to the tiny kitchen where he finds Jinyoung sipping from a mug. A soft heartwarming smile appears on his beautiful features when he sees Jackson.

He sets his mug down and holds his arms out to Jackson, beckoning him to come into his embrace. Jackson nearly runs into the other's warmth and smiles for the first time in hours when he feels Jinyoung's lips press soft kisses to his damp hair. Everything feels so warm and welcoming that fears he might die of happiness. Though nearly every voice in his head is telling him that Jinyoung deserves better, he can't help but feel a little proud of himself for being the person that caught this lovely man's eye.

"Feel better?" Jinyoung asked, his voice deep and lulling.

Jackson hums a response and buries his face in Jinyoung's neck, taking in his scent and kissing his veins. "Wanna stay like this forever," he mumbles and feels Jinyoung chuckle against him.

"We could do that," Jinyoung pauses to pull back and takes Jackson's face in his hands. "But I want you to eat first. If you eat now, I'll hold you all night. Deal?"

Jackson knows he probably has the stupidest grin on his face thanks to the way Jinyoung's smiling back at him. "Deal."

* * *

Dinner was ramen and fried chicken and Jackson ate every bite. He must've truly been starving. After their meal--Jinyoung insisting on washing the dishes himself--, the two of them laid in each other's arms on the bed just as Jinyoung had promised. The silence is comfortable as well as the temperature of the room slowly lulling them to sleep. But Jackson can't help but see the wheels in Jinyoung's head turn as the hours pass on.

Jackson hadn't talked about his father to anyone in years. The only person that he knew who knew about his past was Mark. Which meant he didn't really count since Mark knew just about everything pertaining to Jackson. Jinyoung on the other hand was being the softest he'd ever been to Jackson since they started dating.

Clothing him, feeding him, and even bundling him in his arms so that he wouldn't feel sad anymore. It'd be cruel of Jackson if he didn't tell him. Even though Jinyoung told him he could wait, Jackson didn't want a rift to come between them. For all he knew, Jinyoung was thinking that Jackson didn't trust him enough to tell him about his past. And that simply wasn't true. He was just...afraid.

"You cold, honey?" asked Jinyoung, breaking Jackson out of his thoughts.

"Huh? What do you mean?" asked Jackson. How could he be cold when he had the world's prettiest heater wrapping him in his arms?

"You're shivering. You wanna add an extra blanket?" asked Jinyoung, already sitting up and Jackson had to grab his shirt to keep him in place.

"No, I'm good. I have you, I'm warm enough," said Jackson snuggling back against Jinyoung's chest. "You wanna know, don't you?" he asked, his eyes closed as he took in Jinyoung's cologne.

Jinyoung sighed as his hand ran through Jackson's hair. "Yes. But not because I'm curious. I just don't want you to go through the pain you're feeling alone. I want to know what you're going through right now. How you're feeling. I want to understand those feelings more than knowing your past. So please, if you can, tell me. I won't force you, but I'm asking you to." 

Jackson can feel his eyes filling up as he tightens his grip around Jinyoung's waist and hides his face in his chest. "I don't even know where to start. Before...even after...after he left me...Everything just went so wrong. It was so freaking wrong, Jinyoung." Jackson curses himself for crying again but he can't help it.

Jinyoung pulls back and holds Jackson's face again, rubbing small circles into his temples with his thumbs and peppering his forehead with kisses again. Jackson's never going to get tired of that.

"If it starts to hurt too much, you can stop. I won't hold it against you. Take your time, baby," Jinyoung whispers against his hair.

With that, Jackson takes a deep breath and turns to lie on his back, jutting the bottom of his palms in his eyes to erase the falling tears. After another deep breath, he began to speak.

"My mom was diagnosed with brain cancer when I was ten," he started, forcing his voice not to waver. "It had always been the three of us. Me, my mom, and my dad. We were a perfect little family. People in our neighborhood would always praise my dad for marrying such a lovely wife and raising such a happy kid, you know?"

Jinyoung hums and Jackson continues.

"But after that day, when they came back from the hospital, and my dad broke the news to me...I didn't know what would become of our perfect little family. My mom started forgetting who we were. She'd call the police and ask why strangers were living in her home instead of her sister and parents. Dad cried all the time, even though he didn't show me his suffering. I was made fun of at school for having a crazy mom. I remember...I remember hating her. Remember hating her for getting sick. Hating dad for not being able to do anything about it. I hated everything.

My dad worked extra jobs while I stayed at home and took care of my mom. The seizures were the worst part. I would get so scared while she was having them, begging my dad to come and save me. But he was trying to support his family along with paying for mom's treatment. It was in those times that I felt the most alone. After two years of treatment, my mom passed away. It killed my dad. He would drink and cry all day and night. He quit his job and I was pulled out of school since he couldn't pay for it anymore. The people who used to love us began to mock us. I didn't even go outside anymore."

Jackson can feel Jinyoung's eyes fixated on him. He's tense. As if ready to catch Jackson if he falls too deep into his heartwrenching past. But Jackson wants to finish this. He needs to. For some reason, this feels like the breaking of the fourth wall in their relationship. As if all his demons will become a part of Jinyoung, wrapping their treacherous claws around his long thick neck and dragging him to the very depths of Jackson's broken soul. He swallows hard against the tears and continues.

"And then, on the day I turned twelve, my dad took me to an aquarium where we saw the manta rays. We had dumplings and ice cream. We played in the park, watched a movie at the theater, and ate cake at a cafe. I threw up after that," Jackson laughs at the memory of running behind the nearest tree to throw everything he'd eaten that day and Jinyoung smiles next to him.

"But then...then we didn't go home. Dad took another road and just kept driving and driving." Jackson's heart clenches as he remembers dozing off in the back seat of his dad's old car, hearing his father tell him they were almost there every time he asked where they were going.

"We stopped driving after a few hours...and dad told me to get out of the car."

Jackson's eyes fill up and the first tear runs down his cheek.

"I got out of the car...and we walked up to a building. I didn't recognize the place. It was so dark."

He's fisting the sheets as he presses on.

"There was a set of stairs at the front door. He told me to sit...and wait for him. He said he'd be right back."

Jackson can't breathe. His father's promise--the _lie_ he told him--rings on a loop in his ears.

"He said he wouldn't take too long. He said he'd come back for me. He promised me! He promised me he'd come back!"

He doesn't know when he started yelling or sobbing or when he was pulled into Jinyoung's embrace once again. All he can remember are the broken promises of his father being drowned out by Jinyoung's sweet voice. Never failing to repeat the same words over and over again.

"I'm here, Jackson. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here, baby. It's okay now. I'm not going anywhere, it's okay."

Jackson's heart thrums against his rib cage as he tries to control his spiraling emotions. He takes deep breaths, inhaling Jinyoung's scent through his nostrils and exhaling against his neck until he's finally calmed down.

"I told you to stop when you couldn't take it anymore? Why didn't you listen to me?" Jinyoung's voice is shaking and by the feeling of his tense shoulders, Jackson can tell he's crying too.

"Because I'm not finished. I have to get this off my chest now, or I'll never be able to again. Please, Jinyoung. Let me finish this, please."

* * *

The two are sitting up at the foot of the bed, staring aimlessly out the window to the view of the beach and the dark waves crashing onto the shore as Jackson continues from where he left off.

"After that night, I was put into an orphanage. It wasn't the richest since it was funded by the owner of a church that was next door. I didn't talk much but I did pick up some bad habits."

"What habits?" 

"Being overprotective of what was mine. My mother and father were already taken away from me. I didn't need anything else escaping my grasps."

"I see,"

"When I was thirteen, I was sent to a family in Korea. An old married couple who wanted to spend their last few years alive with a boy that wasn't theirs. They put me through school and even though I had to repeat the sixth grade, I graduated with flying colors. The old lady in the couple said she wanted a girl but her husband insisted on a boy since they were more useful. But she put me to use in her own way,"

"Let me guess. She made you wash her hair?"

Jackson laughs. "Yup. But her shampoo was cutting her hair every time she washed it. So she told me to look for some online. I found what she needed and she introduced me to some of her old friends who used to make their own shampoo. They taught me whenever I was free and I became interested in hair products. The old man had a carpal tunnel and couldn't wash his own body. No to mention the body wash he used was too harsh on his sensitive skin,"

"Is that how your interest in hair and body products started?"

"Mm. I wasn't into dyes until the old couple passed away and I was sent to another foster family. That's where I met Mark. He hated the color of his hair because the man we were fostered by kept calling it...well, you know. I looked up how to make your own dyes and dyed Mark's hair. There were many mishaps, but I eventually did it right. The bastard used to beat us any chance he got. Mark protected me when he was strong enough and I did the same. We were sixteen when he ran away and dumped the system. We got odd jobs while completing our GEDs in order to get into college. When we graduated, we got full rides to the university. And that's when..."

Jackson trailed off and glanced at Jinyoung who had been listening intently the whole time. He never thought he'd have to bring up this particular part in his past to the very person it concerned. He'd gotten this far though. No use in stopping now.

"...that's when I met you."

Jinyoung's eyebrows shoot up till their covered by his bangs. "You met me? When? Where? How?"

Crap. Here it comes. One of the finer things Jackson's embarrassed about.

"At a party. It was the freshmen's welcome party two years ago. I was a sophomore but I was asked to help so I attended. And there you were, the cutest nerd I'd ever seen," Jackson said smiling shamelessly at said nerd.

Jinyoung blinks half a dozen times and rolls his eyes back and forth. As if searching for the file in his memory marked "Jackson". 

"I think I'd remember you," he answers.

Jackson shakes his head. "I don't think so. I never spoke to you. Not to mention my hair was bleached. A lot of people didn't recognize me after I dyed it back to darker colors."

Jinyoung's confused brows turn mischievous as he leans into Jackson's personal space. "Did you really have a crush on your hoobae for that for that long?"

Jackson gulps. For some reason, he doesn't think this is the time or place to bring up exactly what he did during the time his crush on Jinyoung was in bloom.

"I couldn't help it. You're so freaking perfect. It almost makes me upset that I dated other people before you," he answers honestly.

Jinyoung gasps. Clutching his chest with feigned horror written all over his face. "You dated other people before me?"

Jackson smacks his arm playfully making the other laugh. "Dated? Yes. Loved...yes and no."

"What do you mean?"

Jinyoung just had to ask. Out of all the crap Jackson had been through in his life, nothing stung more than the boyfriend he had during sophomore year. He turns his body so he's facing Jinyoung as he speaks.

* * *

"There was a guy...I kind of liked. He was sweet and funny. But I just got a bad vibe from him. He was crazy over the idea that the two of us were dating while Mark was dating too. Some other dude who's name I can't care to remember."

Jinyoung's mind is raising red flags but he shoots every one of them down before they start taking up brain space. This is a serious moment for Jackson and he wants his full attention to be on Jackson. No matter how uncomfortable this story in particular is making him feel.

"Anyway, we dated until one day I found out that he and Mark's boyfriend were best friends."

Jinyoung feels ice run through his veins at Jackson's last sentence and he fights to keep his composure. "They were best friends?"

"Mm. Oh, and not only that but the guy I was dating wasn't even into me at all. He liked Mark the whole time. He used me to get him and his best friend close to Mark for some creepy threesome relationship crap," said Jackson with a disgusted frown on his face.

At this point, Jinyoung's just praying that the sound of his heart trying to find a way out of his chest can't reach Jackson's ears.

"I mean, it's not like I was in love with the guy or anything. It's just...I felt like I wasn't worth it. Worth being loved anymore. And it freaking hurt," Jackson's voice cracks ever so slightly and Jinyoung can't do any more than squeeze his hand tighter. Afraid that if he speaks, he'll release the flood.

"Not to mention Mark blamed himself which just seriously pissed me off. It's not his fault that he's freaking gorgeous and most men are d--," 

"You're worth being loved! I love you!" Jinyoung blurts before he can stop himself.

Jackson's eyes go comically wide as the two men stare at each other. Jinyoung's panting the only sound in the room. Something about Jackson telling him his past, the past he didn't deserve to hear, and saying that he felt like he no longer had the right to be loved pushed Jinyoung's unknown emotions to the surface and left them on the shores of his confusion. He said he loved Jackson, but did he truly love him? Did he have a right to love?

Jinyoung's heart and mind are shattered. The guilt and shame Jinyoung was feeling right now compared to no other in his entire life. How dare he listen to a past Jackson was only meant to share with someone as close to him as Mark? Or a _real_ significant other? He'd crossed a line he never should have crossed and now it's eating him up on the inside. So much so that he can't even look at Jackson without wanted to stab himself to death. This poor precious human went through hell and made it out alive. Who was he to comfort him when he and Jaebeom had forced the two brothers out of their lovely bubble of happiness for their own selfish reasons?

Or maybe that was why--even though his sane mind is telling him to get out of this relationship as soon as the sun rises--that he couldn't leave Jackson now. That he doesn't want this to just be a fake relationship anymore but something he can call real. A relationship where he can tell Jackson he loves him and means it. Where he's not worried that he's not putting on a good enough front as a reliable sweet boyfriend, one that Jackson needs more than ever, and just _be_ that person. He wants this. He wants Jackson.

But he doesn't know if he should.

"I love you too."

The words snap him out of his trance and Jackson's warm lips are attached to his before he knows it. The older man's hands are running up Jinyoung's leg and rest on his hips, slowly pushing him down until Jinyoung hits to bed. And the anxiety's back. But Jackson doesn't fit himself between his legs but rather straddles Jinyoung lap, his lips never leaving the other's.

"I know you have a thing about positions. That's why we haven't slept together until now, right?" Jackson pants as he mouths at Jinyoung's neck.

"I've just never bottomed before. I was worried that things would be awkward if I forced you to do something you didn't want to do," Jinyoung says through pants. Jackson rocking up and down his lap, plus the nipping at his neck doesn't help.

"What if I told you that I've wanted to ride you since the first day I saw you?" asked Jackson. 

Jinyoung's dick shoots up at that particular comment.

"Did you really?" He asked, still not believing what he's just heard.

"Yup. You've got a nice ass, but I'd rather your dick be in mine first. Maybe somewhere down the road, we can switch things up a bit," Jackson pants in his ear and that's all Jinyoung needs to hear before he's flipping them over and pulling Jackson's clothes off of him like an animal in heat.

Jackson laughs and moans as Jinyoung's hands roam up and down his skin. Jinyoung sucks on Jackson's stomach as he gets a good grip on Jackson's sweats and yanks them off. Tossing them to the ground and doing the same to Jackson's hoodie. Jackson's naked underneath him. Mouth kiss swollen, eyes blown until they look black, and chest heaving. His nipples are erect and so is his cock that's twitching against his stomach. Jinyoung wants to take a picture, his Jackson looks so pretty.

"No fair. I'm in my birthday suit and you're still wearing all those unnecessary layers. Didn't I tell you to stop wearing clothes?" Jackson asks sneakily.

Jinyoung's clothes are off of him in ten seconds before he's searching the nightstand drawers for lube.

"They're in my bag," Jackson peeps and Jinyoung's almost surprised.

"Were you expecting this to happen?" he asks in a humorous tone.

"It was a weekend getaway. Not to mention tomorrow's your birthday. I wanted to give you something special," said Jackson.

"And what was that special thing?" 

Jackson leans up to Jinyoung's ear and whispers. "My virginity."

Now it's Jinyoung's turn to have his eyeballs jutting out of their sockets.

"What? Did you think I was a campus slut or something?" Jackson asks offended.

"No! I'm just...honoured? And surprised," said Jinyoung. He leans down and brackets Jackson's head between his arms. "Were by any chance waiting for me to take your virginity?"

Jackson smirks. "No. I was waiting to give it to the person who'd say they love me first. If it didn't happen tonight, I was gonna force you."

Jinyoung gasps and Jackson laughs, loud and bright. "I'm kidding, Nyoungie."

And Jinyoung knows he's not kidding when he says it. "I love you,"

Jackson releases a giggle and pecks Jinyoung's lips. "And I'll love you so much more once you've completely ruined my ass."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh! I almost feel bad for ruining this chapter with that plot twist. Sorry guys. Please excuse any mistakes. Stay tuned for chapter 8 which will probably be up a lot later than this one was.  
> Peace!


	8. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another early-ish update for you lovelies. I was lazy with the chapter name this time around. Sorry. I might change it in the future...or not. Anybody doing NaNoWriMo? Just asking. Enjoy!

Jinyoung awakens to the sound of twittering birds, a blinding sun streaming through the open curtains, and the green numbers on the clock switching to 10 am. His body aches, but it's a good kind of pain. Since he remembers the actions that caused it. He laughs at himself before stretching and turning his head to his left to see Jackson's naked body facing him.

A sliver of the bedsheet being the only thing to cover his rear. His hair's a mess, back decorated with red and purple love marks, and his breathing is soft and even. A perfect depiction of "the morning after". Jinyoung scoots closer to him and buries his face in the space where his neck met his shoulder. He slides a hand under Jackson's arm and rubs his sunken nipples softly.

He kisses every inch of Jackson's skin he can reach before settling on his earlobe and taking the flesh into his mouth. Jackson whines--finally waking up--and turns in Jinyoung's arms. Rubbing his eyes as he joins the land of the living. Once his eyes are open and he's facing the other, he gives Jinyoung that dopey Squirtle grin that causes Jinyoung's heart to nearly explode. His Jackson is so pretty.

"Hey, you. Sleep well?" asked Jinyoung as he went to rubbing circles in Jackson's temple.

Jackson chuckles. "Hardly slept at all. But my night wasn't so bad. You?" 

Jinyoung leans down to kiss Jackson's forehead, his eye, his nose, and then his lips. "I had the best night ever, thanks to you." 

He goes for Jackson's neck again, mouthing and biting this time and it brings a lovely cackle out of his lover who fights to escape. Jinyoung maneuvers them until Jackson's lying in the center of the bed with Jinyoung settled in between his legs and holding him down. After nearly biting Jackson's neck off, Jinyoung rests his chin on Jackson's chest while Jackson pets his hair lovingly.

If someone told him five months ago that he'd be lying in the arms of Jackson Wang and feel nothing but love as they gazed into each other's eyes, he'd have that person admitted to a psych ward. But here he was. In a place he'd never want to leave or never let anyone else have. And everything felt oh so right. Or at least it would be after he fixed a very important problem first. For that, he needed to talk to Jaebeom.

"We have to get ready. Our plane leaves at 4 pm today and I still want you to have some fun on the island before we have to head back," said Jinyoung as he interlocked their fingers.

Jackson pouts. "But it's your birthday. Why can't we spend the rest of it here before we go back?"

"We still have Sunday. We can sit in bed all day if that's what you want," said Jinyoung.

Jackson leaned up to kiss his lips before answering. "Okay. Let's do that."

After a fifteen-minute make-out session--and forty-five minutes of shower sex--, the two packed their things and headed down to the breakfast hall and pile mounds of food on their plates before heading to a table. The conversation comes easy, Jackson asking what hair color he should try and Jinyoung telling he looked good with any hair. Except maybe blonde.

Jackson asks to dye Jinyoung's hair and it's a hard pass. It's when Jackson's getting up to add more food--the man could put away so much--that Jinyoung catches the small frame of a child running in Jackson's direction. It's the same little boy from the aquarium. Jackson doesn't see him until the kid's wrapped his little arms around his waist and he's smiling up at him as if he'd known the older man since birth.

Jinyoung tenses when he sees Jackson freeze for a second before putting his plate down and holding the kid in his arms with a bright smile on his face. Jinyoung can't hear what they're saying, but by the blinding smile of the small boy, everything that's coming out of Jackson's mouth is funny. Jinyoung wants to take a picture or cry, he can't decide. And then he sees him.

The father of the two is walking slowly towards them, each step taken as if there were blocks of cement tied to his feet. Jinyoung moves then, taking position next to Jackson who hasn't noticed his father's presence yet. From here, Jinyoung can already tell that the man in front of him recognizes his son. His eyes are filling and his hand is slightly outstretched as if trying to grasp the reality of his first child--the one he abandoned--being in front of him.

The little boy calls out to his dad and Jackson freezes again. He's startled when he sees Jinyoung in front of him but doesn't dare turn around to face the man coming behind him. The boy wriggles himself out of Jackson's arms and Jinyoung immediately takes his hands in his, rubbing his knuckles and squeezing his fingers reassuringly.

"If you're not ready, we can leave right now. Just tell me and I'll tell him to beat it," and Jinyoung means it. He won't have anything or anyone hurting Jackson or making him cry the way he did last night. He doesn't think his heart can take such a scene again.

"Does he," Jackson paused to swallow and released a shaky breath. "Does it look like he remembers me?"

Jinyoung wants to lie. He wants to pull Jackson into his arms and tell him the man is gone and he'll never come back to hurt him ever again. But the father keeps moving closer, his younger son next to him and silent in confusion. When the name slips out, Jinyoung knows there's no stopping what comes next.

_"Jia'er? Jia'er...is that you?"_

Jinyoung can't understand the rest but he's certain he heard Jackson's birth name. The man in question starts to hyperventilate as he holds Jinyoung's hands in a painful death grip. Jinyoung tries to calm him down by telling him to breathe but Jackson's not listening. His face is turning white and his breathing is coming out in higher pitches, a clear sign that he's losing oxygen right now.

And Jinyoung doesn't know what to do. He's had plenty of panic attacks in the past. Jaebeom was always at his side when he'd have them and that alone would make him calm down. But Jackson's not leveling with him right now. Jackson crashes to his knees and Jinyoung follows suit. Hands shaking as he starts to feel his own chest close up.

Then suddenly, his father's at his side. Rubbing large circles into Jackson's back and holding his hand while whispering in his ear. And Jackson's breathing begins to even out. The man pulls Jackson into his embrace and Jackson doesn't fight him but buries his face into his neck and cries softly. Jinyoung is taken aback by the scene of the man holding Jackson and Jackson accepting him.

He feels almost ashamed for thinking that Jackson wouldn't want to talk to the man who was supposed to protect and love him his whole life but abandoned him when he needed him the most. It made sense that Jackson wouldn't want anything to do with him, right? Why was he so willing to forgive such an act done by someone he thought he could depend on?

His so-called father should have been on his knees, begging his child to forgive him for what he'd done, but the bastard had the nerve to shamelessly hold him in his arms. It made him sick for some reason. Jackson slips from the other man's hold and Jinyoung's there in less than a second to hold him steady. They stand slowly, Jackson leaning his full weight on Jinyoung as he clings on to him for dear life.

"Jia'er, wait. Please, we need to talk," the man said.

Jinyoung pulls Jackson against his chest defensively and scowls at the man. "Please, leave us alone. Don't you see how uncomfortable you've made him? He nearly passed out because of--,"

"Jinyoung," Jackson's weak voice utters from the safety of Jinyoung's sweater. "I wanna talk to him. Let me hear what he has to say at least."

"Jackson, you can't--,"

"Please, Jinyoung. Let me do this. I need to do this."

* * *

Jackson glances at Jinyoung from across the dining hall. He's watching him with that worried frown on his face, eyes never breaking contact. As intimidating as it looked, it made Jackson feel safe. Like no matter what happens during this conversation, Jinyoung would be right there to catch him if it starts to become too much for him to carry alone. That small boost of courage was more than enough. Thinking of Jinyoung protecting him from his father only justifies the fact that he doesn't think he can live without Jinyoung anymore.

His perfect knight in shining armor. It's the sound of his father clearing his throat that snaps Jackson back into reality. They're sitting in the dining hall, glasses of water sitting next to them while Jinyoung and the child--Lei--are sitting at a table a few feet away. Jackson hasn't been able to look at his dad in the eyes yet. Too afraid that he won't recognize the man since he's obviously different from what he remembered.

"So you changed your name?" His father's voice is steady and low, the way he remembers and he nods.

"You grew up so much I didn't even recognize you,"

"Please get to the point," Jackson interrupts.

"The point?" his father asks.

"Why you left me. Why you promised to come back for me and left me. Why I had to suffer for so many years by myself and you...you started a whole family...without me, your real family."

Jackson knows he's being harsh, but he's so upset right now. The emotions and questions he'd kept under lock and key for nearly fourteen years are starting to bubble to the surface. And he wants answers. He doesn't care if he has to spend the entire night in the dining hall. He's not leaving until he's satisfied. His father abandoning him ruined his perspective on love as a whole.

It took him ages to trust people, no matter how friendly either he or they were, and even though he knew that Mark would never leave him, sometimes he worried that he could be a burden to the older man. He found himself trying to please others at one point. Just trying to give them a reason to be with him if they ever decided to up and leave him the way his very own father did. And it hurt. It hurt oh so badly every single time.

"Well," his father starts. "The reason I left...is a reason I am not proud of. It's another one of the things I am least proud of."

"Quit stalling. I have a flight to catch," Jackson deadpanned.

"I left because I knew I couldn't take care of you. I left because I was afraid that if I didn't, you'd end up seeing a side of me that you wouldn't be able to handle,"

"Explain,"

"I had started drinking, Jackson. I was gambling and wasting away our money. To the point of not even being able to pay for your education. I didn't want you to have to deal with that. So I left you in the church's care. I wanted to come back to you after I had fixed everything and was ready to be your father again. But by the time that happened, you had already been sent away."

Jackson has to wipe a stray tear as he processes the story bit by bit. "Didn't you look for me?"

"Of course I did. I looked for you all over Korea. I learned the language as quickly as I could in order to find you. But I didn't know you changed your name. I couldn't afford the help and I would give up often. But the only thing that kept me going was knowing that you were alive. It's true, I found love and started a family. But that didn't mean that I forgot about my precious son."

Jackson's heart clenches and a sob escapes him. He didn't expect this to be the reason. He thought his father didn't love him anymore. He thought he'd done something wrong that made him undeserving of affection. But in the end, he was wrong. His father was his role model. Always had been. And knowing that he sacrificed so much to be a better person for Jackson's sake had him shaking with sobs.

"I thought you abandoned me. I thought you didn't love me anymore and left me for good. I couldn't understand. I didn't know what I did wrong to have you leave me like that," Jackson wept miserably, hiding his face with a hand over his eyes.

His father took his free hand in both of his and Jackson cries harder. He missed those large, rough but tender hands around him or holding his hands just as he was now.

"I'm so sorry, Jia'er. I should have told you the reason, but I was afraid of what you'd have to adjust to. It was already hard enough for you to lose your mom. But losing the me you knew was in my opinion was just as bad. I know now that I was wrong. That I should have never left you for my own selfish reasons. God knows how much you must've suffered."

It was true. Jackson did suffer a lot. He was abused, mocked, and treated like garbage to the point of him wanted to end his life to be free from it all. But in those dark and troubled times in his life, he had much to be thankful for. The cheerful nun that had taken care of him while he was at the church. The old couple that lived in the countryside and helped him find a dream he could pursue in order to help others.

Even the douchebag in Gangnam who abused him night and day. If he hadn't transferred to that hell, he would have never met Mark. The brother he loved so much and who loved him just the same. And then there was his greatest treasure, sitting across the room with his eyes fixated on him, never wavering.

His precious Jinyoung. The man he loved and who loved him. The one who helped him face one of his darkest demons. His very past. Jackson wouldn't trade any of his sufferings if everything that he had now would be the end result of his pain. He was happy. He loves and is loved. 

"It's true. I did suffer a lot, but I'm okay now. I have people who love me so I'm not alone. I'm sorry I thought that you'd forgotten about me. It just hurt so much to watch you go," Jackson almost whispered as he squeezed his father's hand.

His father sat up and walked over to Jackson's side and pulled him into a hug. A hug so warm and needed that Jackson cried again. After he'd calmed down, the two across the room were standing next to Jackson and the other man waiting patiently for the two to part. Jackson releases his father and is happily welcomed into Jinyoung's arms where he belonged.

"I'm guessing this young man is your partner," his dad stated as he took Lei's hand in his and Jackson found himself blushing at the thought of introducing his boyfriend to his father.

"Yes, he is. His name's Park Jinyoung. Nyoungie, this is my dad Wang Ruiji," said Jackson.

Jinyoung heaved a sigh, clearly still upset about the whole affair, but bowed none the less and shook Ruiji's extended hand.

"Please, call me Ricky. Everyone calls me that," said Ruiji. Jinyoung gave a curt nod before putting a protective arm around Jackson's shoulders. "Could I have your number? I want to talk to you if that's okay," asked Ruiji hopefully.

Jackson hesitated at first, his eyes glancing up at Jinyoung's who was still deadpanning his father. "Of course. Hand me your phone."

The two exchange numbers and Lei gives Jackson a hug before he and their father leave the dining area, leaving the couple in silence. Before Jackson can utter a word, Jinyoung's pulling him so close to his chest that Jackson feels like he might actually get sucked into the other man. Which in any case wouldn't be a problem. When he's this close, he can hear the hurried pace of Jinyoung's heartbeat. He can feel the shakey breaths leave his lungs and his muscles tense up as they try to hold Jackson closer.

"Nyoungie? Baby, I can't breathe. You're squishing me," Jackson manages to choke out.

Jinyoung releases Jackson only halfway so that their faces are only a few inches apart. "Are you okay? That wasn't too much for you was it?" Jinyoung asked, his hands rubbing every bit of Jackson he could reach.

"Well, it wasn't what I expected, but I'm fine. I'm glad I got to talk to him before it was too late for us," said Jackson.

Jinyoung pet his beanie covered head and rubbed his temples again, then leaned down to claim Jackson's lips. Once they release, Jinyoung's bundling Jackson in his arms once more. "I can't bear to watch you get hurt like this anymore. If you cry again, I just might die of heartbreak," he mumbled against Jackson's shoulder and Jackson laughed.

"Okay. For your life's sake, I won't cry in front of you anymore."

"Promise?"

"Yes, Nyoungie. I promise,"

* * *

The following Monday, the two couples are back in their classes, Mark and Jackson talking nonstop about their endeavors while Jaebeom badgers Jinyoung for details that he won't give him.

"Why do you think I'd actually tell you anything that happened between us?" he asked as they made their way to business admin.

"Why wouldn't you? Nyoungie, I've known you since before you could have an erection. Knowing that the little guy was finally put to good use is something every hyung should know about their dongsaeng," Jaebeom mocked and got a flick to the forehead from Jinyoung for it.

"Would you shut up? Any louder and our relationships would be reduced to squat. Why are you such an idiot?" Jinyoung scolds and Jaebeom bites his lower lip before whispering his apologies. "And about that. We should talk soon. I have something to tell you."

Jaebeom tilts his head like the idiot kitty he is. "What's up?"

"I'll tell you when we have a chance to talk," Jinyoung sighed.

As they walked into the classroom, they found Jackson and Mark already seated and waiting for them and happily make their over to their lovers, talking rubbish until the teacher and another student they didn't recognize walk into the room.

"Everyone, listen up. I know this isn't middle or high school but it is still a school indeed. And we do still introduce new students like decent human beings. This is our new student, Choi Youngjae. Treat him well," she said.

Youngjae bowed and smiled a blinding smile to the rest of the class before making his way to the row of seats where the four of them sat. He doesn't bother heading to the various empty seats around him and settles for the fifth chair in the row next to Jinyoung.

"Sunbae, may I sit here with you?" he asked in an adorable tone that made Jinyoung think of a child.

"Sure. Make yourself comfortable," Jinyoung found himself saying.

"Thank you so much. What's your name, Sunbae?" Youngjae asked, eyes beaming.

"Park Jinyoung. It's nice to meet you,"

"Jinyoung," Youngjae seemed to be feeling out the word on his tongue. "I like it. It's such a lovely name. I'll enjoy calling you, Jinyoung Sunbae."

Youngjae went to unpacking his supplies while Jinyoung sat there dumbfounded. The kid was so sweet. He didn't think that hoobaes could be this polite--since he was only ever with the likes of Kim Yugyeom--and lovely to be around. It was adorable. The sharp poke to his ribs makes him jump and he's met with Jackson's signature scowl. Jackson pulls him in until his lips are touching his ear.

"You only get to be nice to me from now on. You're mine, you know," he whispered and Jinyoung felt warmth settle in at Jackson's words.

"Mm. I'm all yours," Jinyoung responded before planting a quick peck on Jackson's lips as the lesson started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably my least favorite chapter tbh. I'm sorry for not trying hard enough. Please excuse any mistakes. Chapter 9 is well on its way.  
> Peace!  
> 


	9. The Theory of Park Jinyoung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess chapters will be up every Saturday now? I can't tell y'all for sure but I'm trying my best. Anywho, enjoy chapter 9... Possibly the last nice chapter in the whole story. 😅

Jackson never saw himself as a jealous person. True, he was possessive, protective, and a bit aggressive when it came to people or things that he loved, but the word jealous never really fit in his description. That is, of course, before Choi Youngjae came into the picture. For the last week, Youngjae had been all over the four of them.

Always butting in and taking up unnecessary space between Jackson and Jinyoung and the worst thing was that Jinyoung was letting him. Yes, Jinyoung had a heart of pure gold but Jackson doesn't think he can stand another lunch meet or study session interrupted by Youngjae's glaring smile and his annoying sunshine voice saying "Jinyoung Sunbae". If he does, he knows he'll lose it.

"Do you think he likes him?" Mark asked before taking a sip of his warm coffee.

Jackson pressed the tips of his fingers against his eyes and groaned. He didn't want to hate Youngjae. The kid was smart, cheerful, sweet, and such a respectful little thing that Jackson almost felt like a monster for even thinking about hating him. It was true that he was always too close for comfort around Jinyoung but who wouldn't be?

"I don't think so. Maybe he just sees him as a role model, you know? I mean, Jinyoung's like that. People are easily attracted to him so it's not surprising. Plus, he's like the sweetest human on the planet. Who wouldn't like my Nyoungie? I'd be more offended if he didn't have a crush on him," said Jackson, scribbling some stress circles into his journal.

Mark sets his drink down and sighs. "I think you might have a problem on your hands."

Jackson looks up from his scribbling, confused. "How so?"

"Think of it this way; this is a perfect way to put yours and Jinyoung's relationship to the test. If Youngjae does in fact like Jinyoung and makes an advance, Jinyoung's reaction to it will be your answer. You have to not only suspect but trust Jinyoung as well," said Mark and Jackson's confused.

"How do I trust and suspect him at the same time?"

Mark leans in as he speaks. "Trust him to make the right choice, but be on your guard if he falls into Youngjae's snare."

Jackson rolls his eyes. "His 'snare'? Hyung, you've been playing too much D&D. Your grammar's getting all jacked up."

Mark sticks his tongue out at the younger man as they leave for their next class. On the walk towards the building, Jackson can't help but think about Mark's words. He trusts Jinyoung. Loves him even and he knows that Jinyoung loves him too. Jackson had thought that the incident on Jeju had made them indestructible. That everything was out in the open and nothing could come between them anymore. But Jackson was the only one to come out.

He was the only one who expressed his deepest darkest fear of being unloved and rejected while Jinyoung was his shoulder to cry on. They may have said their 'I love yous' and slept together--Jackson giving up his very virginity--, but such things only went so far. Every couple has their struggles, but Jackson thought they were through with those. To imagine someone coming in between them on Jackson's part was obviously impossible. But with Jinyoung, his lovely Jinyoung, he wasn't as sure.

His head spins with the wicked thoughts as he and Mark make their way to class and he's met with the sight of Youngjae sitting next to Jinyoung, the two laughing with their heads thrown back. He can't help but grip the strap of his satchel as he makes his way to their seats. He stands in front of the table where the laughing ones are seated and clears his through once. Neither of them notices. He clears it louder, not caring that his throat nearly bleeds and waits.

Jinyoung's not looking at him.

"Jinyoung, Jackson's calling you," comes Mark's voice next to him and Jinyoung whips his head up in surprise.

"Jackson! Sorry, baby, I didn't see you there," he apologizes, the smile from his previous laughing fit still on his gorgeous face. 

And Jackson wants to be mad. He wants to make a scene and get pissed and have Jinyoung chase him down and apologize again. But he doesn't. "Of course, you didn't see me. You were laughing so hard with our little hoobae over here."

At that comment, Jinyoung's demeanor changes for only a split second before he's reaching over to drag Jackson to one of the middle seats so he can sit next to him. Once Jackson's settled, Jinyoung pulls him into his embrace and kisses his hair.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I'm really sorry," he whispered in Jackson's ear and the older man feels warmth spread from his chest down to his toes. Jinyoung must've caught it. How uncomfortable Jackson was with being ignored.

"How do you plan to make it up to me?" he asked sneakily.

Jinyoung laughs and bites his earlobe. "Tonight at my place. Prep yourself before you come. I'm not gonna waste any time."

That makes Jackson shudder and become unnaturally hard. He can't help but kiss those plump rosy lips and run his fingers through those darks locks that were meant just for him to card through. It's only a short one but Jackson feels so much better now. As if the doubt from earlier had been nothing but a bad dream. A bad dream that ended with the glare that Jackson saw on Youngjae's features from behind Jinyoung.

* * *

A few hours later finds Jackson and Jinyoung lying on their stomach on Jackson’s bed, buck naked and their feet swinging in the air as they play with each other’s fingers for no particular reason. Their digits tangle together and separate only to be intertwined once again, making the two of them giggle like love-sick teenagers.

With Jinyoung around, Jackson always feels like a love-sick teenager. Jinyoung brings out Jackson's childish and playful side with every passing day and can tell when Jinyoung allows his mature demeanor to fall as they mess around.

“Your hands are so freaking soft. Don't you do any manual labor?” Jackson asked as he started to mess with Jinyoung’s feet using his own.

“I used to, but my mom made me stop early on. She said her baby can’t be put to work because of his lazy older sisters,” Jinyoung smiled at the memory.

“In what universe does a Korean man work less than his older sisters?” Jackson giggled.

“My mom always babies me. Since I’m her ‘little miracle’ as she always says.”

“How so?” asked Jackson.

“Well,” Jinyoung paused to sit up until there wasn’t even enough space for air to get between their arms. “I was born prematurely. I would get sick often when I was little and my parents would bring me to the hospital on numerous occasions. It was only until I was about sixteen that I started trying to take better of my body and my health. Now I look like this but I’m still so freaking soft.”

Jackson stares at Jinyoung for a full two minutes before he can say anything. “I’ve never heard you talk about your family before.”

“Seriously?” Jinyoung asks a little shocked.

Jackson hums a response. “I thought it was because you didn’t trust me enough to tell.” He knows he’s probably overdoing it but it’s truly what Jackson felt. Like that was one of the topics he’d have to earn, even though Jackson’s family situation jumped on them out of nowhere. So he won’t hold it against Jinyoung too much.

Jinyoung kisses Jackson’s shoulder and rubs his arm. “That was never the reason. I just didn’t think about it until now. I’m sorry I made you think that way, Sseunie.”

Jackson’s face twists in confusion. “What does ‘Sseunie’ mean?”

“It’s like how you call me ‘Nyoungie’, I’m also calling you by the second part of your name. ‘Sseunie’,” Jinyoung smiled.

“Did you just give me a pet name?” Jackson squeals and Jinyoung falls over laughing, giving Jackson a chance to jump on top of him and straddle his lap. Kissing him shamelessly until they’re both out of breath. 

That's when Jinyoung starts staring. Just blatantly looking at Jackson like he'd been cast under a spell. There are no definite expressions on his face and even though Jackson's waving his hand in front of his eyes, Jinyoung can't seem to be unsuspended. Jackson settles on kissing him again, feeling their eyelashes wind together, and pulls back after a few blissful seconds.

"Why were you looking at me like that?" asked Jackson, not really offended. Just curious.

Jinyoung blinks a few times before he finds his voice. "I was just admiring the view. You're so gorgeous I can't help but stare," said Jinyoung while tucking a strand of Jackson's hair behind his ear.

"Stare all you want, Nyoungie. I'm all yours," said Jackson. Leaning down once again for another kiss.

And Jinyoung's phone starts ringing off the hook and the magic is gone. The younger man dives to the ground to find his phone in his back pocket--Jackson enjoying his naked display--and cocks an eyebrow when he sees the caller ID.

"Who is it?" asked Jackson.

"It's Youngjae. I'm gonna take this real quick, alright? Be right back."

With that, Jinyoung slipped into his boxers and went to the bathroom. Out of hearing and seeing range. Jackson flopped onto the bed, grabs the nearest pillow, and screams into it until his vocal cords are sore. Way to pick the timing, Youngjae. It feels like forever before Jinyoung's strutting back into the room and onto the bed and Jackson's happy to have his arms around him again. He wraps them securely around his shoulders as Jinyoung's sitting on the side of the bed and checking his calendar.

"What's your little hoobae want this time?" he asks and can't help the snark that appears in his tone.

"He wanted to know when was the best time the two of us could study together," Jinyoung answered nonchalantly.

Jackson's arms sag off of Jinyoung's body and he turns his back to him, confusing the other.

"Sseunie what's wrong?" Jinyoung's using that freaking pet name and Jackson breaks. Obviously.

"Why are you spending so much time with Youngjae nowadays? I don't remember the last time the two of us just hung out or when the four of us studied together. Alone and in peace without the little brat tagging along," Jackson pouts.

He can hear Jinyoung sigh behind him and feels his arms come around his smaller form. Jinyoung's chin hooking onto his shoulder and lips pecking his jawline.

"I want to spend as much time with you as you do me. But exams are coming up and Youngjae really doesn't want to fail them. He looks up to me and I don't want to let him down. I promise, as soon as exams are over, I'm all yours for as long as you want." Jinyoung made it final with and loud wet kiss to Jackson's temple and the two erupted in laugher. 

Once they'd calmed down, swaying back and forth in each other's embrace, Jackson thinks about Mark's words once again and decides to trust Jinyoung. The height of the risk he's taking makes him shiver, but he's willing to put their love on the line for it. Even if it may or may not be strong enough.

* * *

Jackson stretches with a groan and leans his head on Jinyoung's shoulder. Relishing the soft strokes to his cheek that follow. The four of them are at the cafe again, studying till their eyes bleed for the big test on Monday, and Jackson's pretty sure that after this much working, a drink or two is well-deserved. 

"Who wants chicken and beer? I'm buying," he asks and the group responds with tired moans.

"Can't we get meat instead?" asked Jaebeom.

"We'll save that for when we pass the exams, Beom," answered Jinyoung and Jackson's a bit shocked by the nickname.

"I'm guessing you and Jaebeom are getting pretty close now, aren't you?" he asked.

It's quiet for a whole five seconds before the only sound ringing in everyone's ears is "Jinyoung Sunbae!"

Youngjae's here. In their--yes, they've claimed it--cafe. Their sanctuary. The little brat runs to their table panting and gasping for breath while wiping the sweat off his forehead. God knows where he came running from to ruin another moment with Jinyoung for Jackson.

"I was looking everywhere for you. I was hoping you could help me study just for a few minutes. I swear it won't take that long, I just need some pointers. Could you please help me, Sunbae?"

If Jackson didn't know any better, he'd say that Youngjae was fluttering his eyelashes at Jinyoung. And even though he did, the fact remained that Youngjae was very much so fluttering his eyelashes at _his_ Jinyoung. Jinyoung turns to his group and a sorry expression dons his features when he locks eyes with Jackson.

"It'll only be a few minutes. I'll catch up with you guys, okay? Don't drink too much without me," he says before planting a kiss on Jackson's cheek and setting his things back down on the table where Youngjae wastes no time jumping into his personal space bubble.

And Jackson's pissed. So pissed that he grabs his coat, pushes the door like it messed with his sister, and pounds the pavement to the bus stop with Mark and Jaebeom struggling to keep up with him. The three of them ride the bus in silence until they reach the closet pub and Jackson just about storms into the building. He sits and mopes while Mark asks a waiter to take their order only to be stopped by Jaebeom who has a sneaky gleam in his eye.

"Babe, Jackson's feeling depressed. Let's go somewhere fun so he can destress, yeah?"

* * *

Jinyoung glances at his watch for the third time in three minutes. Youngjae said that he'd only be a few minutes and it's already been an hour. Not only is he exhausted, but he's also worried about Jackson. The way he left with that look on his face. It screamed betrayal. Was Jackson actually jealous of Youngjae? He had absolutely no reason to be. Jinyoung loved him and only him.

He knew that now better than anything and it almost sacred him how sure of it he was. At this point, Jinyoung doesn't think anyone can keep him from loving Jackson. It's true, it took time to get over Mark and wanting more with him, but he was actually happy with Jackson. The adorable human puppy that meant the world to him. 

"I'm sorry I'm taking this long, Sunbae. You must want to be with your friends right now, don't you?" Youngjae asked, snapping Jinyoung back into reality.

"Oh, it's okay. I'm glad I could help. But can we call it a night? My boyfriend's probably wondering where I am," said Jinyoung already putting on his coat to leave.

Youngjae's eyes grow comically wide and he throws a hand over his mouth in what Jinyoung can only guess is pure shock.

"Sunbae, you and Jackson Sunbae are dating? You're a couple? Like a real one?" Youngjae asked and Jinyoung can't help but feel offended.

"Why is that surprising?" He asks curtly, trying his best to real in his emotions.

"Sunbae, don't you know that you both don't match? Jackson Sunbae's your polar opposite! You're calm and collected while he's loud and sporadic. Honestly, Sunbae, why would you date someone that's totally not your style? I thought you were into guys like Mark Sunbae. I would never believe it if someone told me that you and Jackson Sunbae were together," said Youngjae.

Jinyoung feels the hairs on his body bristle at Youngjae's words for two reasons. One, being that Youngjae was dead wrong and the other being he was absolutely right. Six months ago, no one could make Jinyoung like Jackson even if you paid him a billion won. Even from the beginning, it was so, that Jackson and Jinyoung's characteristics were too different from each other.

A relationship with their strong but opposite personalities at war was bound to fail. But they made it work somehow. Jackson brought out Jinyoung bolder side while Jinyoung let Jackson's inner shyness reach the surface. They'd shared so many happy moments together that Jinyoung can't even see himself without the other anymore. And he loves it.

"Youngjae, I have to leave. Get back to your room safely, okay?" said Jinyoung as he stood to leave.

"But Sunbae, wouldn't you like to date someone who's more your type?" Youngjae called out.

Jinyoung regrets to this day that he turned around. "And who would that be?"

Youngjae stands up from his seat and takes slow steps towards Jinyoung until he's only a few inches away from his face. A place only Jackson--and unfortunately Jaebeom--could be anywhere near.

"I don't know. Maybe someone like me," said Youngjae, and Jinyoung frowns. "Not me specifically, Sunbae. Just someone who fits your ideal type. I think both of us know you and Jackson don't match. Did you date him on a bet or something?" asked Youngjae and Jinyoung's had enough out of the little hoobae.

"I should really leave now, Youngjae. Get home safe," he gives a short bow before running--yes running--out the door. 

Once he's a safe distance, he fishes his phone out of his pocket and dials Jaebeom's number. It rings for an uncomfortable amount of time before the other picks up and Jinyoung's ears are ringing with loud music and a screaming Jackson. Where in world were they?

 _"What up, Jinyoungie! Where you at bro? Your boyfriend's having a mental breakdown!"_ Jaebeom yells into the speaker.

Jinyoung's heart starts pounding at the thought of Jackson having any kind of breakdown and he finds himself running for the closest bus stop. "Jaebeom, where are you guys right now?"

A hiccup escapes the older before he answers. _"We're at a karaoke bar downtown. We're having a great time! Well, everyone except Jackson. He's really messed up right now,"_ said Jaebeom.

That's enough for Jinyoung to jump into the nearest taxi and order the driver to his friends' location.

* * *

Jackson's not big on karaoke, especially when there's a stranger involved. But tonight, knowing that Jaebeom was there was the last thing on his mind. All that mattered was that Mark was there, drinking snacks, and, well, drinks. The music is loud and Jackson's throat is dry from all the singing he'd been doing for the past hour or so, mind swimming as the alcohol permeates his system, making him feel like he's on clouds or deep underwater.

After song number God-knows-what, Jackson finally decides to reside in the booth were Jaebeom is nursing a bottle of beer with a stupid grin on his face as the two of them watch Mark start rapping to a song. Jackson looks at Jaebeom, noticing how his eyes never leave Mark while he's bobbing his head to the music. It's like he's been put under a spell and doesn't seem to be against it.

He smiles and whoops in encouragement, clapping, and dancing along in his seat while Mark makes a fool out of himself. Every so often he throws a kiss or makes a heart then screams his love for the older man as loud as he can above the booming music. Jackson's almost jealous that this idiot is acting like a better boyfriend than his supposedly perfect one.

It's just the angst and alcohol talking, but at this point, Jackson wished Jaebeom were his boyfriend. Shamelessly cheering his praise like a faithful partner should be. As much as he hates to admit it, Jaebeom wasn't exactly what Jackson expected. Upon meeting the soccer player, Jackson concluded that he was just another horny athlete looking for a good lay and made him back off immediately. The bastard was persistent though and before Jackson knew it, he and Mark were dating. Which made him trust Jaebeom even less. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Jaebeom asked, snapping Jackson out of his thoughts. 

Jackson sighed then took a swig of soju. "I'm just wondering how you managed to date Mark all this time. I didn't even think that Mark could be into guys like you."

"Guys like me?" Jaebeom asked, setting his drink down and leaning back against the booth.

Jackson followed suit. "The athletes who everybody knows. I thought you were a cheating dirtbag. But I guess you're not."

Jaebeom laughed a soft drunken chortle and sighed. "A lot of people say that about me. Since I've dated a couple of people here and there. But I've never loved them. Not as much as I love Mark."

"You're just trying to get me to like you," said Jackson. "I don't like kiss-ups."

Jaebeom laughed again. "Why're you mad, bro? Is it about Jinyoung and Youngjae?"

The last person Jackson wants to open up to is Jaebeom, but Mark's still singing and the jerk in question's not here. So he has no choice.

"Isn't it obvious? I've never seen Jinyoung look at someone like that. He's always smiling and doing whatever Youngjae wants because that's just the way he is. A freaking saint that's actually a monster trying to rip my heart out," Jackson gushed a bit, not noticing Jaebeom's head suddenly shoot up.

"Wait, Jinyoung smiles at Youngjae?" he asked randomly and Jackson's regretting all of tonight's choices.

"Of course he does. Every time he looks at me, there's this blank expression on his face," said Jackson, taking another swig of soju and swishing it in his mouth.

"Jinyoung looks at you with a blank expression, but he smiles at Youngjae?"

"Jaebeom, I swear if I have to repeat myself--,"

"Dude, he freaking loves you!" Jaebeom cheers out of the blue and Jackson's got half a mind to punch the living crap out of him.

"And how can you deduct that from what I just told you?" he practically growls. 

Jaebeom sits up, runs a hand through his messy black hair, and rubs his hands together with a clap at the end like he's ready to get down to business. It shouldn't, but it worries Jackson.

"Okay, so there's this thing I call "The Park Jinyoung Theory", okay? The theory is, and it's been tried, tested, and true, that Jinyoung looks at things that he likes with a smile," said Jaebeom.

Don't hit him. _Do. Not. Hit. Him._ Not in front of Mark at least.

"Your point?" asked Jackson a little more than just annoyed.

"I'm not finished. Jinyoung looks at things he likes with a smile. Animals, coffee, sweaters, homework. But he looks at things he _loves_ , like would kill for, with a blank expression," Jaebeom nods and Jackson's still lost.

"Dude, don't you get it? If Jinyoung looks at you like that, it means he loves you. He's always had a twisted conception of things since he's weird like that. But I swear to you, it's a true fact," said Jaebeom.

"How exactly do you know that?" asked Jackson, feeling his sanity slip farther and farther away from him.

"He told me. He said he doesn't know which facial expression would work best for someone who's irrevocably in love with something...or someone," Jaebeom sing-songs and pokes Jackson's arm. "Trust me. He's only got eyes for you, Jacky."

Mark finally comes over to the table and pulls Jaebeom's hand all the way to the dance floor. The two sing along to a cheesy romance song, holding each other close and giving the other that look again. The look that said they were each other's entire world. Jackson takes his coat and leaves, not because he's upset but because he believes the two are gonna need some time alone. Besides, he could always go to the bar next door to ponder on Jaebeom's words.

* * *

Jinyoung finally makes it to the karaoke club and crashes into their room, out of breath, and clutching his knees as he fights to breathe. But Jaebeom and Mark are the only ones there, cuddling in the booth while Jackson is nowhere to be found. Jinyoung leaves, not even asking the other two since he can already guess that Jackson left without telling them. He probably guessed they wouldn't notice.

He runs out of the building and is about to make a run for an oncoming taxi when he spots Jackson in the window of the bar next door. Jinyoung walks in this time and quickly makes his way over to the man sleeping on the counter. Jackson's hair's a mess and his cheeks are rosy from all the alcohol. Jinyoung thinks it's the cutest thing he's ever seen and almost doesn't want to wake him up.

But he'd rather have this view in his bed rather than in a public drinking area. He shakes Jackson's shoulders softly, calling him by his nickname that Jinyoung's totally in love with until the smaller man groans as he wakes. Jackson rubs his eyes and turns his neck a few times before stretching. Once he's finished, his eyes land on Jinyoung and he blinks slowly. Jinyoung was wrong. This is the cutest thing he's ever seen.

"Nyoungie? What are you doing here?" Jackson asked in a drunken sleepy voice.

"I'm here to take you home. I think you've done enough drinking for one night," said Jinyoung.

He pulls Jackson's arms over his shoulders and tries to hoist him onto his back but Jackson refuses.

"I can still walk. I don't need your help," he mumbled, taking his hat and coat and stumbling towards the door. Jinyoung was close behind him with his arms up and ready to catch him if he falls.

The two walk like that, Jackson stumbling every so often and refusing Jinyoung's help until they made it to a bench and Jackson had to sit down. The smaller man groans with the heel of his palm pressed against his stomach. Poor baby was a lightweight. Jinyoung sits next to him and rubs circles on his back while holding Jackson's free hand.

"Why'd you drink so much? You know you don't have a high tolerance and yet," Jinyoung's cut off when Jackson's suddenly all up in his face, staring him in the eyes as if trying to see Jinyoung's very soul.

Jinyoung waits, not wanting to make any sudden movements before Jackson says his peace.

"I don't believe it...but I want to. Because I want to believe that you love me and not anyone else," said Jackson.

"What do you want to believe, Sseunie?" asked Jinyoung.

Jackson backed away and sighed loudly. "'The Theory of Park Jinyoung' by Im Jaebeom. The theory is that you look at things you like with a smile," It only takes a second for Jackson to get back in his personal space again. "and stare with an expressionless face at the things you supposedly love to death."

Jinyoung groans internally. He should have known that leaving Jaebeom alone in a room with a secret and alcohol was the worst mix known to man. And that stupid theory again. Of all the people he could tell, why did it have to be Jackson? Why was he bringing it up anyway?

"I thought he was just being an idiot, but I realized that he might be right," Jackson slurred. "You always look at me like that. I thought that meant you didn't like me, but could I be wrong?"

It was one time. Just the one time in middle school when Jaebeom caught Jinyoung looking at flowers in their science class. They were hydrangeas, a flower with hundreds of other flowers on them. Jinyoung was speechless. To the point of not even being able to choose a proper expression. The same thing would happen whenever Jinyoung would look at something that fascinated him and Jaebeom concluded that since he was too shocked for words or expression, that Jinyoung was in fact in love with said object. In this case, it was Jackson, and he doesn't understand why he feels so content with this discovery. He strokes Jackson's cheek and smiles.

"No, Sseunie. You're not wrong. The theory is true. I only look at things that I adore with an expressionless face because I don't have the words or facial features to express how I feel when I see them. That's how I feel about you. I love you so much I don't know what to think or say. So don't worry about it, okay?" said Jinyoung.

Jackson's eyes are searching him as if trying to see any hole in the truth he's just admitted. 

"Really? You're telling me the truth, right? That you love me and only me? Not Youngjae?" Jackson asked, his voice cracking up slightly.

Jinyoung nods with a reassuring smile and kisses Jackson's dry lips. "Yes, Sseunie. You and only you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, it's finally the turning point guys. Ish is about to go down. I apologize in advance. Please excuse any mistakes. Chapter 10 will not be pleasant.  
> Peace!


	10. A Test Of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, THIS is the last nice chapter in the story. Sorry, this is late guys. I was having a hard time with this chapter but I finally wrote it... decently.  
> Enjoy!

It's a slow Sunday afternoon, a rare one in which both Jackson and Jinyoung have too much time on their hands without any idea of what to do with it. So they choose to sit in Jinyoung's dorm, Jinyoung sitting at his desk and reading a book he's read about ten times, Jackson looking over a body hygiene catalog while sprawled on his back on Jinyoung's bed, and a heater in the middle of the room humming softly on the lowest setting. Jackson can't help but giggle at how domestic this moment feels.

"What's making you laugh?" Jinyoung, his ever-present boyfriend asks, and Jackson giggles again. Unable to suppress his happiness.

He wants to say nothing but to say that would be insulting the moment. He wants to say he thought of a scene in a film or drama but he's not feeling humorous. Silence would only make Jinyoung uncomfortable and he'd push him to answer until it ruined the moment. He feels a little too embarrassed to say it out loud, though. That he wishes they could stay like this forever with just him and his Jinyoung. In which everything else meant absolutely nothing to them.

"I'm happy, that's all. It feels like it's been forever since we got a chance to hang out like this. Without exams or studying...or Youngjae," Jackson doesn't mean to sound immature but he can't help it.

"Why do you always bring him up at the most random moments? Didn't I say that I love you and have no romantic feelings towards Youngjae at all? He's just a friend, Jackson," Jinyoung scolds him.

"Yeah, a friend who's infiltrated your relationship and lifestyle within the few short weeks that he's been here. I have a right to be concerned," said Jackson, furiously flipping to the next page of his catalog.

He can hear Jinyoung shut his book and set it on his desk from behind him but refuses to turn around. "Will you stop being jealous? It's not a good look on you," said Jinyoung.

"Jealousy is a beautiful look on me. Just like everything else," Jackson counters.

"You being jealous means you don't trust me. Do you really not believe me when I say I love you?" Jinyoung asks in a pained tone and Jackson wants to stop. 

Only a moment ago, he was thinking about how wonderful it felt to be in such a peaceful and wholesome setting with his boyfriend. Then he had to go and ruin it because he couldn't control his emotions, thus hurting Jinyoung in the process. He sets his catalog down and sits on his haunches so he's facing Jinyoung. The other man's face matches his tone.

He's in pain. A pain caused by distrust on Jackson's part. The last thing he wants is to make Jinyoung think that he doesn't trust him. He _does_ trust him. He _loves_ him. But the fear remains. The fear of never being good enough for such an amazing human as Jinyoung. Someone he doesn't deserve and who deserves so much better than an untrusting partner as himself.

"I do believe you. It's just...I've only ever been in love once and I don't want anything or anyone ruining it for us. I know you're not the type to cheat or lie, but I've been keeping my guard up around people since I was twelve. It's a habit I can't fully break," said Jackson, keeping his eyes on the ground so as not to see the disappointment in Jinyoung's eyes.

He hears the chair Jinyoung was sitting on squeak as he stands up to make his way towards the bed. He kneels down and takes Jackson's hands in his own, kissing and rubbing his knuckles lovingly. After repeating the action several times, he looks up at Jackson with nothing but absolute affection in his big brown eyes and Jackson thinks he might cry.

"I love how you tell me what's on your mind, but you don't tell me everything. I've noticed that a lot and I understand it's because you still don't trust me. The last thing I want is to be the cause of your pain or to know that you're feeling any pain at all. So tell me, my Sseunie. What can I do to make you trust my love?" asked Jinyoung, his eyes practically brimming with sincerity. 

Jackson thinks hard. His mind is racing with ideas and suggestions but none of them seem to satisfy him. Until one idea--as daring as it was--stands out amongst the rest. It's so intrusive, that Jackson doesn't even want to mention it. But he knows Jinyoung won't rest until he's proven his point: that he indeed loves Jackson and will get him to believe it no matter what.

"I want to meet your family," he blurts as quickly as possible before he can stop himself.

Jinyoung's eyes widen just the slightest bit and he blinks nearly a dozen times before he speaks. "You...want me to prove my love for you...by meeting my family?" he asked carefully as if still unsure of what Jackson requested.

"Yes, I do," Jackson said firmly, feeling confident in his choice.

"But...why? You couldn't think of anything else? Why my family of all things?" asked Jinyoung, getting up to sit next to Jackson on his bed.

"Because your family is what's closest to you. Whether you love them or hate them, they're always in your heart. I want to be in your heart too. So prove to me that I'm already in your heart by letting me meet them. You got to meet my dad, which made you a part of my heart. You owe me," said Jackson.

"But we met him by accident. Not only that, it was a painful experience for you," said Jinyoung.

"I know, but it means so much to me now. You saw me at a very vulnerable moment and comforted me. You listened to me and understood what I was going through. That's more than I deserve." Jackson turned to face Jinyoung and held his hands, repeating the same motions as Jinyoung with his thumbs.

"I shouldn't even be asking this, really. You've proven yourself so many times, but I feel like, even though you broke the fourth wall with me, I haven't with you. Please let me meet them. I'll be good, I swear," said Jackson.

Jinyoung sighed and began to stroke Jackson's hair with a loving smile on his face. "Okay. I'll tell my parents that you want to meet them and set a time for us to go, okay? You're gonna need to give me some time though. There are...things I need to prepare for first."

Jackson's giggles come back and he's toppling Jinyoung over onto his back. He straddles the younger man and kisses him relentlessly until Jinyoung's telling him he can't breathe. Jackson settles next to him, an arm thrown over Jinyoung's stomach and his nose buried in the crook of his boyfriend's neck. 

"I love you," he whispers before kissing Jinyoung's soft skin.

Jinyoung plants a kiss on Jackson's forehead. "I love you too."

* * *

"He wants to meet mom and dad?" Jaebeom asked, peeking out from the hanging jeans that he still plays with. Even though he's a full-grown man. He shouldn't have brought him to the mall. Shopping with Jaebeom was a sport not many people could master.

Jinyoung nods and helps the idiot get out of the denim barricade and sighs. "He said it's the only way I can prove that I love him. So I have no choice."

Jaebeom throws a hand on Jinyoung's chest, stopping the other in his tracks, and stares at his younger brother with wide eyes and a dopey smile. "I can't believe you said you love him! Oh my gosh, my little brother's really in love!" He squeals before grabbing Jinyoung in a bear hug and ruffling his hair, earning a smack on the arm from the younger man.

"Of course, I love him. That' why I'm doing this. To prove it to him," said Jinyoung.

"But don't you think going home is a little risky? What if mom and dad talk about us? What're you gonna do then?" Jaebeom asked.

Jinyoung bites his lower lip nervously. He had intended to bring this up with Jaebeom weeks ago but it never seemed like the right time. That is until now. He takes Jaebeom's shoulders and makes sure the older man is looking at him. He can already sense Jaebeom's aura shift as his body slightly tenses under Jinyoung's touch. Jinyoung takes a deep breath before he speaks.

"Jaebeom, I've been thinking about this a lot lately...and I think we should tell Mark and Jackson the truth," he speaks as clearly as possible. Jaebeom's eyes turn into saucers and his mouth hangs open in shock but before he can say anything, Jinyoung goes on. 

"Hyung, hear me out. I love Jackson, okay? And you love Mark, obviously. But do you really think that us continuing our relationships that were based on a lie is healthy? What if they find out on their own like they did those other guys? Do you really want to be seen like that in their eyes?" asked Jinyoung, trying his absolute best to convince his brother.

"Well, no. But I'm pretty sure they won't see us the way they do those absolute douches! We were only trying to get Jackson to loosen the reins while those bastards were trying to start a threesome with Mark! There's a huge difference! For one, you never liked Mark," says Jaebeom, and Jinyoung would be lying if he said his blood didn't run a little colder after that comment.

He shakes off the chill and continues. "Look, I know it's hard to imagine them forgiving us if and when we tell them. But I personally can't go on like this. Every time I look at him and every time he tells me that I could do better than a person like him, it kills me, hyung. I don't want him to think of himself like that. If there's anyone who's the least deserving of such an amazing person as Jackson Wang, it's me. But I don't want to be undeserving of Jackson anymore. I want to love him without feeling guilty. Don't you feel the same way?"

Jaebeom sighs and wrings his messy dark hair into an even bigger mess. After a few more seconds of silence, he stares at Jinyoung with a soft smile and hooks an arm around his neck. "Aigoo, look at my baby brother. You really love him, don't you?" 

Jinyoung nods frantically and Jaebeom lets out a warm laugh. "Okay. For yours, mine, and our boyfriends' sakes, let's tell the truth and get this questionable chapter of our lives over with."

* * *

Due to a school system failure, the exams were pushed back by a week. It was the perfect time to go see his parents. Jinyoung is knocking on Jackson's door where Mark comes out to greet him with that warm pure smile Jinyoung used to be head over heels for. Now he lives and breathes for the stupid Squirtle smile that Jackson surprises him with at the most random moments.

"Jacky's getting ready. He'll be out in a minute," Mark informed.

But it was longer than a minute and Jinyoung can hear Jackson and Mark arguing in Jackson's room. Words such as "I can't do this", "what if I mess up?", and "what if they hate me?" are coming out of Jackson's mouth and Jinyoung's heart aches for his nervous boyfriend. Plus, he also finds it quite cute.

He gets off the couch and walks into the room he's more than familiar with to find Jackson's bag packed but the owner of the said bag wrapped cacoon style in his bed. Mark is standing over him with his arms crossed and a frown on his face. When he sees Jinyoung, the scolding continues.

"Jinyoung's here. He bought train tickets that can't be refunded and told his family that you were coming. How can you back out at the last minute when this was your idea?" said Mark.

"Nyoungie, I'll pay you back. I believe you love me so let's just stay here and meet your parents another time. Preferably two years from now," Jackson mumbled. Jinyoung sighs with a laugh as he sits on the bed next to Jackson and rubs the tuft of brown hair sticking out from under the blankets. 

"You don't want to meet my parents anymore?" Jinyoung asked softly, smiling when Jackson shakes his head vigorously. "But I already told them we'd be coming together. Not going now would seriously disappoint them. You don't want to disappoint them, do you Sseunie?"

Jackson lets his head pop out but keeps the blankets under his chin. "What if they don't like me? What if I mess up and they think that I shouldn't be dating someone as precious as their son?" Jackson mumbled. That pure and adorable pout making an appearance.

Jinyoung strokes Jackson's cheek as he leans in to kiss the older man's forehead. "I know they'll love you. Besides, if they don't, which is highly unlikely, they can't stop me from dating you. I love you and that's all that matters, okay? So before we miss our train, can you please get ready so we can leave together?" asks Jinyoung as he nuzzled Jackson's nose.

The other man sighs and hums a response before getting out of his bed and walking over to the dresser to find suitable clothes. After another half hour, the two were on a train headed to Jinyoung's home town. The entire way there, Jinyoung kept Jackson occupied with useless banter, kisses, the sights that passed them by, and a drama. It worked so well that Jackson soon fell asleep on Jinyoung's shoulder, giving Jinyoung an opportunity to think about their visit.

He knew his parents well enough and that they were completely--if not overly--supportive of his choices concerning his love life. They'd love Jackson as much as he does and the three of them would get along swimmingly. The problem was Jaebeom and the fact that their parents didn't know about their little endeavor. Jinyoung didn't want to mention it. Not even to his mother with who he is so close with. He settled on telling them that Jaebeom was Jackson's ex and that they shouldn't mention him because it would hurt Jackson's feelings.

The train ride lasts for about three hours, pulling into the station just as the sun starts to set. They unload their things and wait on the platform while Jinyoung calls a taxi. But soon Jackson was tugging on his arm and pointing to a pair of women waving at them with huge smiles on their faces and Jinyoung's heart drops to his feet. His older sisters are parked by the platform with his two nieces and two nephews running in his direction, no doubt fully intending on taking him to the ground.

The children overtake him, bringing him to his knees as their voices overlap in mindless chatter. Asking how he was, where he'd been, and where was uncle Jaebeom. Jinyoung clamped a hand over his little niece, Seri's mouth before she could finish her sentence. Jackson's smiling above him, a bit confused but willing to roll with it. Jinyoung pushes the children away and stands to find his sisters already shaking Jackson's hand and giving him some not so subtle thumbs up.

"You must be our Jinny's boyfriend, Jackson. I'm Soyoung, the eldest, and this is my sister, Haeyoung. You'll learn our children's names as you go along," said Soyoung.

Jackson smiled brightly as ever as he released their hands and went straight to Jinyoung's side. Soyoung and Haeyoung hugged their younger brother then loaded everything in the car before departing. Jinyoung managed to get a hold of Haeyoung's sleeve as he asked her.

"Why are you and Soyoung noona here? Mom said it'd just be the five of us at the house," he whisper-yelled, earning a tut from his sister and a smack on the head.

"Were you really gonna come and visit without telling anyone else but mom, dad, and grandma? Do you have any idea how much the kids miss you? And where's that other idiot brother of mine? Shouldn't he also be here to meet your boyfriend? A whole boyfriend and you weren't even planning on introducing him to the whole family," Haeyoung tsked.

"He doesn't like to be around too many people. And don't mention Jaebeom in front of him," said Jinyoung.

"Why can't I? Did you two fight? Are you not on speaking terms or something?" asked Haeyoung.

"No. It's just, Jaebeom is Jackson's ex and I don't want him feeling uncomfortable. Please tell the kids that any mention of Jaebeom's name today is prohibited."

Jinyoung closed the trunk and hopped into the car to find Jackson already making friends with the children. His head was thrown back with laughter while he clapped his hands to the kids' show theme songs and sang along. It was so touching that Jinyoung could feel his eyes fill up. Jackson had been really nervous throughout the entire trip and seeing him so bright and lively again brought warmth to Jinyoung's heart. That is before it started getting impossibly annoying as Jackson and the kids sang the songs all the way to the house.

* * *

The car rolls into the dirt driveway and the four wonderful little children Jackson had the pleasure of singing with for the past forty minutes spill out of the vehicle and run into the yard. Jinyoung and his sisters go to the trunk to take their bags while Jackson contemplates whether he should stay in the van or step out the door.

From his seat in the car, he can see the front door open and a middle-aged woman who's the spitting image of Jinyoung run down the path to the car to greet them. He can hear Jinyoung call out to his mom while the kids yell "grandma" in perfect unison. The woman hugs Jinyoung just like any mother would hug their son and kisses every inch of his face. It's oh so wholesome and Jackson feels like his heart might burst at how beautiful Jinyoung's smile is right now.

He wouldn't be smiling like that if he weren't here with his family. He wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for Jackson who suddenly realizes he's sitting in the car and gaping out the window like an idiot when he should be at Jiynoung's side right now and receiving a hug from his potential future mother-in-law. He scrambles out of the car--trying not to look too much like a lost buffoon--and bumps into Jinyoung who seems to have been on his way to get him.

Jackson gives him a nervous smile and starts messing with his clothes and hair. Other things he didn't realize he needed to do before it was too late. He's doomed in his potential future in-laws' eyes. A man who is unkempt cannot be respected and Jackson feels like he's already failed every requirement.

"Jackson, are you listening?" 

Jinyoung's voice sounds like a clanging cymbal bringing Jackson back to the present and giving him more reasons to hide under the car and not come out until they've safely returned to Seoul. God, why is he so nervous?

"Sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to drift off like that. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he apologizes as he can feel his chest start to constrict and presses his palm against it out of habit. _Please, not now. Please, not now. Please. Not. Now._ Is all he can think of before he hears Jinyoung's mother's voice.

"You're Jackson aren't you?" she asks in a voice as soft as her son's.

"Yes, ma'am. I am. It's nice to finally meet you," Jackson replied surprisingly smoother than he expected.

"The same goes for us. Jinyoung's told us a lot about you already. Come inside, honey. Jin and the girls will get your bags," said Mrs. Park as she practically pushed Jackson into the house. 

They enter the house and remove their shoes before Mr. Park comes into the living room. Jackson can see where Jinyoung gets his squinty-eyed smile from as the man brings Jackson into a tight hug and greets him warmly. If he were being honest, Jackson was a bit overwhelmed with the open welcome he was receiving from everyone. Even the children liked him, thank God. Jinyoung pulls him to a separate part of the large house where an old woman is knitting in a wheelchair.

"This is my grandmother. She can't speak and is a little hard at hearing. She can use either sign language or paper and pencil. Just tell her what you prefer," Jinyoung informed him.

He went on to kneeling in front of the elder and her smile was pure joy at the sight of her grandson. Jinyoung spoke as he made hand motions to his grandmother, asking her if she'd eaten and if she was comfortable, and so on. He then motioned to Jackson, who hadn't actually moved since they walked into the room, and pulled his hand so he could kneel next to him. Jinyoung signed that Jackson was from China and that they went to school together.

The grandmother took Jackson's and Jinyoung's hands into her warm weathered ones and kissed them. Her wrinkled lips felt like the bushy caterpillars Jackson and Mark would hold during the spring. She signed something to Jinyoung who's eyes started to well up with tears as he thanked her.

"What did she say?" asked Jackson.

"She said she wants us to be happy together and that she approves of you and thanks you for loving me," said Jinyoung and now Jackson fears he might cry.

The two of them spend a few more minutes with Jinyoung's grandmother. Jackson used exciting hand gestures to entertain the elder while Jinyoung tried his best to interpret properly without dying of laughter. Dinner was prepared and the couple headed to the table hand in hand. The children from earlier, Seri, Taepyoung, Joonho, and Ahro, come running to Jackson, asking him to hold them and before he knows it, he's got four toddlers hanging on to each of his limbs.

Once he's got the munchkins off, he sits next to Jinyoung and is served by Mrs. Park. The conversation comes easy, Jinyoung's parents asking how their studies are going and if anything is too hard. And then came the question Jackson was dreading since he woke this morning.

"So, Jackson, what do you want to do once you graduate?" asked Mr. Park.

There are reasons that Jackson was dreading this question for the entire day. One, being that it may not sound sensible to a traditional home such as Jinyoung's. Yes, it was already a big step that Jinyoung's parents supported him when he came out, but supporting your son's sexuality is much much different than supporting his choice of partners.

If Jackson didn't deliver, he'd probably get the boot no matter how well he got along with the family or cared about Jinyoung. He needs to think of something. Not a lie but something that doesn't give away too much of his barely-put-together plan for his future. But all that thinking goes down the drain when Mrs. Park opens her mouth.

"Jinny said that Jackson's into hygienics and dyes. He even knows how to make them all by himself. He's going to open a business once he graduates. Isn't that right Jackson?"

Well, that went well. Jackson swallows hard with a nod and starts to stuff his mouth with food so he wouldn't need to answer any other questions. But of course nothing ever really went his way. 

"You make your own dye products? Goodness, brother-in-law! Jin-ah should have brought you home sooner! Can you believe at barely forty, I'm getting gray hairs already?" said Soyoung.

"Plus the only decent salon in town went out of business after we stopped living here," said Haeyoung. "Brother-in-law, would you mind dying our hair for us? Mother doesn't like to admit it but she's not as young as she used to be."

"What lies are you spewing you shameless child!" Mrs. Park scolded and Haeyoung laughed.

"Would you both quit bothering him? He needs to eat," Jinyoung protested but was only mocked by his older sisters.

"Oh Jinny you've been hiding this gem from the family for God knows how long and you don't expect us to punish you for it? For the entirety of your stay here, brother-in-law will belong to us. You can have him back when you head back to Seoul," said Soyoung.

"Why do you keep calling him brother-in-law? You didn't even ask if it was okay to do so, noona," Jinyoung scolds his big sister who has a shocked expression on her aged face.

"Is he not our brother-in-law? Are you two not going to promise yourselves to the other for always and eternity somewhere down the line of your lives?" Haeyoung asked and got a smack on the arm from her grandmother.

At the question, Jinyoung looked directly at Jackson who was nearly a block of ice that just so happened to have a pink tint to it. Being Jinyoung's forever is all Jackson wants, truly. The younger man means so much to him and the fact that he took the time to tell his family about Jackson makes his heart flutter in ways he never thought possible. He smiles when he sees Jinyoung blush and duck his head. He never thought he'd live to see the day when Park Jinyoung was embarrassed. He takes his hand in his as he responds.

"We do. We're just enjoying the journey there, is all. So you may call me your in-law. It's an honor to be called so by you all," said Jackson with a squeeze to Jinyoung's hand. 

The grown-ups cooed while the children made their disgust clear with dramatized gagging. _Yaksik_ was served after dinner as the family gathered in the living room to watch an old drama. Jackson sat on the floor with his upper body in Jinyoung's lap and his legs being messed with by his future nieces and nephews. Once the kids have had their fill of his short legs, he sits comfortably in Jinyoung's lap now, his head laying on Jinyoung's shoulder and their fingers interlocked.

One by one, the few in the living room went back to their respective places and soon Jinyoung was pulling Jackson to his childhood room. He closes the door and brings Jackson in for a kiss, something they haven't been able to do much since they arrived. Jackson's hands roam Jinyoung's strong back and shoulders and taps the other's neck, signifying he wanted to be lifted.

Jinyoung's hands come under his thighs as he picks him and heads over to the bed to gently lay the other down. Jackson's finger card through Jinyoung's dark wavy mop as Jinyoung releases their kiss to bite at Jackson's neck. Jackson likes it like this. Soft and slow and romantic. They're not in a hurry, just enjoying the other's body heat and relaxing together after such a stressful but enjoyable day.

"Do you really want to marry me in the future?" Jinyoung asks as he pulls his head up from the crook of Jackson's neck.

Jackson blinks, not sure what to answer much less why Jinyoung would bring that us now. And like this.

"Are you not planning on marrying me in the future?" he asks with a pout that hides his true insecurity.

"Of course I plan to marry you! I love you, remember? That's what this whole trip was for," Jinyoung almost yells and Jackson laughs at his determination.

"That's true. You did bring me here to prove your love for me," said Jackson.

"Has it been proven?" Jinyoung asked as he messed with Jackson's earlobes.

"Hm...no. Not yet," said Jackson. 

Jinyoung cocks his head to the side. "It hasn't? How come? What else do you want?"

Jackson didn't expect Jinyoung to take it seriously and he was about to tell him that he was joking. But a request popped into his mind last minute and he found himself mulling it over before he scared his boyfriend.

"I want your ass virginity," he said nonchalantly. 

Jinyoung's body went still and his face went pail for a full ten seconds before he vigorously shook his head. "No. I'm a top and that's that. We're gonna pretend like you didn't mention that and move onto another suggestion."

Jackson pouts. "But I want to. We're both men in this relationship and it's only fair that we both get an opportunity to be on top."

"It's not gonna happen, Jackson."

"If you don't I won't consider any of this as proof of your love,"

"Sseun-ah!"

"It's just one time, Nyoungie. Come on, please? I promise to be gentle," said Jackson.

Jinyoung sits up on the bed and runs a hand through his hair, sighing loudly. Jackson almost feels bad for him but he can't help it. The idiot put Jackson through a lot for the past few days. He drank like he'd never drunken before, had the worst mind battle between trusting and suspecting his boyfriend, and had to get a pep talk from Jaebeom all at once. It had been very stressful. So no matter what happens, he will have Jinyoung tonight. That, he is certain. 

"Think of all the crap you put me through. You're really gonna deny me this?" he asked and Jinyoung groaned.

"I don't want to deny it...but I'm not sure how to accept it. I've never even thought about touching down there," said Jinyoung.

Jackson crawls from his spot at the edge and makes his way to Jinyoung slowly. He stops when he's in between the younger man's legs and kisses him comfortingly. "Trust me, it feels so good,"

* * *

"Hyung! You will never believe what I just heard!"

"If I'll never believe it, don't bother telling me,"

"But you have to know, hyung! I think this is how you can get back at Sunbae for turning you down,"

"He didn't turn me down you freaking idiot! What do you have to say?"

"So you know the captain of the soccer team, right?"

"Yes,"

"He and Sunbae are apparently best friends. Like brothers!"

"Seriously? I already knew that!"

"Let me finish, hyung! Anyway, it turns out that those two Sunbaes were trying to get that Chinese Sunbae away from the American Sunbae so that the captain could date the American without the Chinese Sunbae interfering. They used your Jinyoung Sunbae as a means to keep the crazy Chinese Sunbae away!"

"Meaning...?"

"Meaning..."

"He's never liked Jackson Sunbae, has he?"

"No! Their whole relationship is fake! Not only that, but I think Jinyoung Sunbae actually likes the American, the one the captain's dating. I remember how he looked at him when I first started working here. I think he's been in love with him from the beginning but only stayed away because it'd hurt his best friend's feelings. What do we do about this now?"

"I knew he couldn't love someone as pathetic as that. I have the perfect idea for how to expose this. But I'll need your help. Can you tell everyone in our department that I'll be paying for drinks once exams are over?"

"Sure, but why? What do you plan to do?"

"That Jackson Sunbae really annoys me, you see. He needs to learn his place. Jinyoung Sunbae's been mine from the beginning and no one is going to take him away from me. I worked so hard to be here with my Sunbae. I won't stop because of some lowlife creep who thinks they have a right to what's always been mine."

"Goodness, hyung. You sound so diabolical! I like it!"

"You don't know knew the half of it yet,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I was a sadist in my past life. I just refuse to let anyone be happy...worrisome. Chapter 11 is where it all goes down. No spoilers past this point. Please excuse any mistakes.  
> Peace!  
> 


	11. Author’s Note: I'm Rewriting This Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse the rant. Please read.

As you can already guess, this is not an update. But before anyone starts to freak out, I'd like to explain the reason why I am taking the time to rewrite this story. Please listen to my little tale. First of all, I'd like to thank all 158 readers who left kudos on this work. Every kudo notification added three days to my life span and honestly, it was the best feeling. It made me want to know why anyone was reading my story in the first place, so I took some time to read it for myself...and found many wrongs with it.

Is it a decent story? Yes. Does it have a good plot and premise? Yeah. Did I write it to the best of my ability allowing it to shine and become the story I had intended to write from the start?... Not so much. After rereading it, I realized that it was full of plot holes. It was hasty, nondescriptive, and shallow which is the last thing I want any of my works to be. When I started this story, I wanted to write a hate to love relationship between a smart, composed and reserved Jinyoung and a bold, protective, and aggressive (sweetly obviously) Jackson. I mean, who doesn't love that?

But after I pantsed the first chapter, I continued to do so throughout the whole story, thus making it lose its value and purpose. They say every great story has to have a theme and my theme was little to nonexistent. I remember being inspired by Pride and Prejudice. Lizzie and Darcey did hate each other and in the end, fell in love but the process is what I was aiming for. After watching 20+ kdramas this year, I realized how much I love the process of falling in love with someone. All the little seemingly insignificant moments between the two main characters that mean so much and tug at your heartstrings till your chest bleeds is the whole reason why I wrote this story.

But I failed it. Miserably... Ish. I wanted Jinyoung to strongly dislike Jackson and Jackson to hate Jinyoung. I wanted each and every encounter they had before they developed feelings for each other to be a depiction of how much the two were nowhere near a match made in heaven so that when they did start to fall for each other after Jaebeom's plan went into action, it'd be more enjoyable to read. Plus, when Jackson would find out about their plan, it would hurt not only the characters but the readers a little more. Not to mention my second plot twist was all out of wack and I needed to nail it down before I even thought of writing it.

I wanted to write a love story for these characters that not only my readers could enjoy, but one I could enjoy as well. Cause if you don't like what you're writing, you won't think others will either. And when that happens, you end up in a hole dug by your own insecurities. I'm not perfect but I strive to do better. Storytelling is extremely important to me and romance is a delicate genre that you either get right or wrong. I prefer to get it right, even if it's my first time. So to all my readers, please understand that _**I AM NOT DUMPING THE STORY**_ but _**REWRITING**_ it. It'll take some time...a lot of time, but as soon as it's ready, I'll post it once again.

Thank you for reading and I hope you understand. 


	12. When The Party's Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm posting this at 4 am and I am dead on my feet, y'all. I decided to finish the old version just to give you guys some peace of mind. The pain doesn't last...too long and there's another plot twist. Yay!  
> Enjoy!

The churning in Jackson's stomach becomes more and more persistent with every passing minute. After a good forty-seven minutes, Jackson gives in to his hunger and wriggles out of Jinyoung's warm arms--he insisted on spooning him--, finds whatever piece of clothing he can, and heads downstairs as quietly as possible. He vividly remembers Mrs. Park stacking at least three Tupperwares of meat in the fridge and Soyoung complaining about the amount of leftover _ramyeon_. One man's trash is another riches.

Jackson tiptoed into the kitchen and switched on the single lightbulb hanging over the dining room table. He holds his breath while he opens the fridge and nearly passes out when the lights over his head are turned on. He whips his head around to find Mrs. Park in her PJs looking bewildered. Once her eyes land on him, she places a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter. Jackson's not sure what to do in this situation. The last thing he wants to be remembered as in his future in-laws' home is the "midnight snacker".

Mrs. Park finally stops laughing and smiles. It's so identical to Jinyoung's. "What are you doing up so late, sweetie? Want to eat something?" she asked in an oh so motherly tone that Jackson's heart melts a bit.

"Uh, yeah. I woke up and suddenly wanted something to eat. I hope that's okay," said Jackson.

"Of course it's fine, sweetie! Eat what you want when you want to. Let me heat something up for you," she said as she made her way over to him and dragged him to a seat at the table.

She then grabbed multiple bowls that were wrapped in plastic and the Tupperware of meat and set them into plates. Jackson sits and waits patiently, swinging his feet as he does and it brings him back to when he was a child. He and his mother had the same habit of waking up in the middle of the night to fill their bottomless pits. Jackson remembers racing down the stairs and finding his mother sneaking a sweet treat or a dumpling to satisfy her.

Every time she was caught, she was obligated to fix Jackson a little something too or he'd tattle on her. They would talk and laugh and she would hold him close as they went back to their respective rooms. When she fell ill, Jackson went down to the kitchen every night just to see if she remembered their nightly routine. Not once was she there. His eyes sting as he looks back on his once-happy life. He tries to wipe the tears before Mrs. Park sees but he's not fast enough.

"Jackson, are you okay, sweetie?" she asked.

Jackson nods vigorously. "Yes, I'm fine, Mrs. Park."

"Sweetie, don't call me 'Mrs. Park'. It makes it sound as if you were a stranger. Call me mother or mom. You're our Jin-ah's boyfriend after all," she tsked.

Hearing those words come out of her mouth made Jackson's tears flow all the more. Mrs. Park set the food down and rubbed circles on his back until he was able to control his emotions.

"Is it something I said, sweetie? Do you not want to call me mother?" she asked, clearly worried that she might have offended him.

"No, no! It's fine, I swear, mother. It's just...I was thinking about my own mom. She passed away when I was eleven. Before that, she used to make me something to eat at night whenever I got hungry just like you're doing now. I was touched, that's all," said Jackson.

Mrs. Park smiled. "She must have been an amazing woman to have raised such a fine young man like you."

"Mother, how would you know if I were a fine young man or not? I've done some pretty bad things before," said Jackson as he slurped on plump noodles and kimchi.

"Anything that you did in your past and or past life doesn't matter. I know you're a fine young man because our Jin-ah brought you home. He's never brought a person home before, you know?" said Mrs. Park.

Jackson just about chokes on his food when he hears that he's the first of Jinyoung's less than three partners that he's brought home. In a way, he feels extremely proud of himself. Even though it was his idea to come here and Jinyoung wasn't all for it at the time, he's happy to have made such a good first impression on his boyfriend's family to the point of his future mother in law cooking for him at 3 in the bloody morning.

"Jackson?" Mrs. Park's voice snaps him out of his thoughts and he hums a response. "Thank you for loving our Jinyoung. I can tell from the way you two look at each other and act when the other is near that you both are truly in love. It's been a long time since I've seen Jinyoung smile like that or laugh like nobody's watching. It breaks my heart sometimes."

"Why does it break your heart, mother?" asked Jackson, his hunger suddenly subdued.

Mrs. Park sighs and sits up a little straighter, looking Jackson in the eye with an expression only a heartbroken mother could make.

"About two years ago, when Jinyoung first went to university, he was stalked," said Mrs. Park.

Jackson can feel his heart drop to his feet. Of all the things to come back to haunt him, did it have to be this? He's about to explain but Mrs. Park beats him to it.

"Apparently, this person had been writing vulgar letters to our Jinyoung. It troubled him so much that he took time off of school and came home. But the dirtbag even followed him home. They climbed in through his window and slept on the floor of my son's room. They'd be gone before we could catch them, but they'd always leave a letter behind. That's when he told us and we called the police. Jinyoung couldn't sleep in his own room for weeks due to how paranoid he was.

He couldn't even go outside to play with his nieces and nephews. The stalker stayed away for a while and we thought that the sight of the police had scared them away. But then Jinyoung woke up with a love bite on his neck and we knew that they were still out there. One night, we heard Jinyoung scream and rushed inside to help him. But the stalker was gone. Jinyoung was on the ground, his shirt ripped and his pants pulled down to his knees. 

Lucky for us, we got to him in time before the stalker could do as they pleased. But the bastard got away. Jinyoung was sent to the hospital and the doctors told us to put him in therapy quickly so it wouldn't affect his everyday life. But it did. Jinyoung barely spoke to us and spent an even longer hiatus away from school. He didn't sleep in his room and slept with his big brother instead. It took him a lot of time, but Jinyoung eventually, or so I hope, got over it."

Jackson can taste the salt of fresh tears and quickly rubs his eyes with the heel of his palm. He can't think straight, can't speak, or even breathe. How could such a terrible thing happen to his Jinyoung? At first, he feared this story would be about the fiasco his journal caused at school around the same time, but this is a whole different story. Jinyoung was stalked and nearly violated. And he never told him. Jackson made Jinyoung carry the burden of his own past without offering to help with his.

He feels like the worst person on the planet. Like a selfish dirtbag who didn't even notice his partner's suffering. It suddenly dawns on him why Jinyoung never liked playing sub position. And Jackson forced him to that night. He must've been so uncomfortable but didn't say a word for Jackson's sake. Because he was trying to prove to Jackson that he cared about and loved only him when Jackson was doubting him. He feels disgusted and ashamed, so much so that a sob escapes his lips before he even has a chance to stop it. 

Mrs. Park's hands are wrapped around his as she speaks. "Don't blame yourself for not knowing. Jinyoung tried to hide it from us as well. We felt like horrible parents for not knowing our child's suffering, just as you do now. But you can't let that stop you. What matters is that you know and can love and support him all the more so something like this never happens again. Please, Jackson. Please love and support our Jin-ah wholeheartedly. If you can do that for us, we will bless your relationship till the day we die."

Jackson nods, not being able to form words at the moment. Mrs. Park gives his hands one last squeeze before leaving the table and heading back up the stairs. Jackson sits alone with his bowl of noodles, forcing them down his throat in between sobs and washing the dishes before heading upstairs as well. When he enters the room and finds Jinyoung lying on his stomach, mouth slightly open as he snored, Jackson feared he'd cry again.

The thought of someone hurting this precious human being to such a level made his blood boil. He crept back onto the bed and wrapped his arms around Jinyoung's bare waist, kissing the back of his neck and shoulders. The other man stirred and shifted until he was buried in the crook of Jackson's neck and wrapping their limbs together. Jinyoung is always so clingy when he sleeps but Jackson will never hold it against him. He kisses his soft brown mop until he feels like Jinyoung is close enough and safe enough for him to fall back to sleep.

* * *

Maybe staying in one position for the whole night wasn't such a good idea. Jackson's arms, legs, and hips are sore but he's not complaining. He towels his hair as he walks back into Jinyoung's room to find the owner of it sitting up with his hair standing in all four corners of the wind. An adorable yawn escapes his beautiful lips as he scratches the back of his neck and rolls it a bit. Jinyoung smiles when his eyes lock with Jackson's. It's a smile that shows he slept well. 

"Why didn't you wake me up? We could've showered together," said Jinyoung with a pout.

Jackson laughed as he made his way to the bed and brushed the hair out of Jinyoung's face. "Clearly, we should have. It would save a lot of hot water, obviously," said Jackson.

"Obviously," Jinyoung snickered.

The two have a short make-out session before Jinyoung goes in the shower and Jackson suddenly wants to be with him. Maybe they should have taken a shower together. Ever since the night before, Jackson's no longer comfortable with not having Jinyoung in his sight at every moment. He's surprised that he managed to bathe without him. He dresses quickly and sits on the bed, waiting like a dog for his owner to come home. He sits for about twenty minutes before Jinyoung is back in the room with nothing but a towel around his waist to cover that gorgeous body of his. 

Jackson watches him as he walks around the room and notices the nearly invisible limp in his step. He must be sore. Sore because of Jackson who forced him to be the sub against his will in the very room that horrible scenario happened in. Jackson has to blink about a hundred times to keep the tears from falling as he remembers Mrs. Park's words. It wasn't his fault. Jinyoung never told him because Jinyoung never tells him anything.

He never even lets on that he's in any way emotionally scarred, just carries on like everyone else. And that's what Jackson loves about him; his graceful strength. How he always sacrifices for others' sake. But it also hurts him more than he could imagine. His own parents didn't even know about the incident until it became too much for him to bear alone. Jackson stands up and makes his way to the dresser, throwing his arms around Jinyoung's waist in a back hug and startling the younger man. 

Jinyoung laughs. "What are you doing, Sseunie?"

Jackson doesn't answer, just takes in Jinyoung's shampoo and aftershave and sighs. "Nothing...just," Jackson mumbled and turned Jinyoung around so they were facing each other.

"You're limping. Did I hurt you last night?" asked Jackson.

Jinyoung doesn't answer for a second and Jackson is quick to mentally punch himself.

"It stang a bit but it wasn't bad. I'd rather not do it again though. I'm pretty sure I more than proved how much I love you already," said Jinyoung with a soft flick to Jackson's nose.

Jackson's eyes are filling as he laughs with a nod. "Yes, you did, Nyoungie. I love you so much," 

"So much that it makes you cry?" asked Jinyoung as he stroked a stray tear from Jackson's cheek.

"Mm. So much that it makes me cry. You messed me up big time, Park Jinyoung," said Jackson.

Jinyoung's hand travels to the back of Jackson's head and card through his hair as he pulls him in for a kiss. 

"Can I mess you up a little more before breakfast?" he asked with a whisper that sent chills up and down Jackson's spine.

"We just took showers though," said Jackson, already hooking his arms around Jinyoung's neck.

"I guess that means we'll be able to take a shower together after all," said Jinyoung.

* * *

Once breakfast is finished, the couple heads out in Jinyoung's dad's car and into town for a day to themselves. Jackson insists on going old school and takes a paper map instead of using their GPS. Jinyoung doesn't argue. He's learned the hard way not to mess with Jackson once his mind's been made up. It's a bit of a struggle at first, but Jackson eventually gets the hang of it and Jinyoung doesn't ruin his accomplishment by informing him that he already knows every road of his hometown by heart.

Jinyoung parks the car on the street and they begin their walk. The town isn't as big as Seoul, but it definitely wasn't anywhere near small and Jackson wanted to see everything today. So Jinyoung took him to some of his favorite places. Their first stop is an antique shop that he, Jaebeom, his sisters, and his mother used to go to all the time after she'd pick them up from school. He and Jaebeom--or rather his sisters in this conversation--loved to play with the music boxes, turning each and everyone they could find until the entire store was ringing with music. 

"It's a lot less beautiful than it sounds. You had to be there to understand the true chaos that rang through this poor building," said Jinyoung as he held Jackson's hand and led them to a shelf full of old literature. 

"I didn't take you for a trouble maker, Jinyoung," said Jackson.

Jinyoung chuckled, remembering all the times he would be punished because Jaebeom did something stupid and couldn't take the fall alone. He'd always be there for Jaebeom, no matter what. But that mindset is slowly starting to eat away at Jinyoung's independence. 

"I wasn't. I was just always in the wrong place at the wrong time. You know what I mean?" he asked and Jackson just squeezed his hand harder.

"How about when you're with me?" asked Jackson as he pressed his back against the shelf.

Jinyoung placed his hands on Jackson's hips while the other wrapped his arms around his neck. "When I'm with you, it's always the right place. No matter what," said Jinyoung.

Jackson giggled and pulled Jinyoung in for a kiss. After a bit more aimless wandering, the two men left the store and ventured into a market place. The smell of street food permeated the air and before he knew it, Jinyoung was being dragged in the direction of the nearest vendor. Jackson paid--again insisting--while Jinyoung found a clothes vendor and began trying on anything that could fit. Jackson joined him and the two spent ages picking out random assortments of clothing before settling on two black baseball caps, bomber jackets, and two pairs of aviators.

The two took countless pictures as they continued their walk. Dancing with street performers, eating anything they found, and buying all sorts of generally useless things along the way until they reached the beach at the edge of town. The water was freezing cold but the air that came from its gentle spray was nice and refreshing. Jinyoung had Jackson in his arms as they faced the vast ocean, his chin hooked on the older man's shoulder as he kissed his jawline. Jackson kissed his right back and the two laughed at how stupid they must look.

"Want to build a fire and stay here all night? We can buy blankets so we don't freeze," said Jinyoung.

Jackson doesn't answer but sighs, sinking even deeper into Jinyoung's space. Jackson feels heavy against Jinyoung's chest with his shoulders slumped and his head hanging. Something was off.

"You okay, Sseunie?" he asked.

Jackson doesn't say or move for a few seconds before he nods and slips out from Jinyoung's embrace. His eyes say it all. Something is wrong and Jinyoung's pretty sure he's about to find out.

"Do you trust me, Jinyoung?" asked Jackson.

"Of course I trust you. Why would you think I--,"

"Then why didn't you tell me about the stalking incident?"

Jinyoung is in shock. Of all the things he'd expected, this was definitely not one of them. "How do you know about that?"

Jackson let out a shaky breath and rubbed his forehead, something he had a habit of doing when trying to find the right words to say.

"I went downstairs last night to eat and your mom was there. She told me that I was the only person you've ever brought home and that meant that I was special to you. But then... then she told me about what happened to you two years ago. How could you not tell me, Jinyoung? Why didn't you tell me about it?" Jackson's voice is cracking and Jinyoung can see the tears forming in his beautiful brown orbs.

"Why would I tell you something that would hurt you like that? I never wanted you to know that," said Jinyoung.

"I never wanted you to know what happened between me and my dad but I told you because I trust you. Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you, but this is different. The situation between you and your dad wasn't something we could control,"

"What if another like situation we can't control happens and has to do with your past? Would you keep it from me or not?"

"Jackson--,"

"I told you from the very beginning, Nyoungie. That I wanted someone who would hold me and someone who I could hold. You've been doing all the holding with my dad and the Youngjae issue. I want to hold you too, baby. I don't want you to carry this or anything that you're going through alone. You _can't_. Not anymore. Promise me that you won't."

"...Okay...I promise." 

Jinyoung can feel tears prick the back of his eyes as Jackson pulls him into a hug and strokes the back of his head softly. It was true that Jinyoung tried to keep his past a secret from Jackson and anyone else outside of his immediate family, but even more so, it killed him to handle it on his own. Therapy helped but he couldn't help but still feel trapped in his own head. He feared that talking about it with his parents would only hurt them more so he didn't hesitate to get on board with the sessions every few days.

He wonders if talking about it with Jackson will make him feel any better. Jackson lets him go but holds his face in his hands as he leans up to kiss him. Jinyoung takes his hands in his and interlocks their fingers as their kiss deepens. When they released, Jinyoung couldn't think of anything to say other than the words that he swears he could say for the rest of his life.

"I love you, Jackson," Jinyoung whispered.

Jackson smiled softly and gave Jinyoung a soft peck on his forehead. "I love you too, Jinyoung."

* * *

The week came and went and before they knew it, Monday had returned and the couple had to head back to Seoul for their exams. Every second of the said exam felt like an hour and once it was finished, Jinyoung had never felt more relieved. As he packed his things away, Jackson's arms were around his waist as he nipped at Jinyoung's shoulder playfully. 

"What is it, baby?" Jinyoung asked, not granting Jackson the attention he was chewing his body parts for.

"Let's go for meat and drinks, yeah? Mark and Jaebeom are paying," said Jackson in his cutest voice.

Jinyoung sighs as he thinks. Free meat and drinks did feel like the perfect way to celebrate exams being over with. But when he's about to answer, Professor Nam calls for everyone's attention and Youngjae is standing right next to her. She steps away from the mic and allows Youngjae to say his piece.

"Everyone, since we finished exams today, I'd like to invite everyone in our department to prime meat and drinks at my family's restaurant. All the expenses will be paid by me so eat and drink your fill," said Youngjae, and the entire room started cheering. Especially Jaebeom.

"Jinyoung, we have to go. He said there'd be prime meat and drinks," Jaebeom all but moaned while Jinyoung pinched the bridge of his nose.

His response is once again interrupted when Youngjae calls him. "Jinyoung Sunbae. I haven't seen you for a while. Did you go somewhere during the break?" he asked in an almost mouse-like tone.

"Yes, actually. Jackson and I went to visit my parents. We only got back last night," Jinyoung informed him shamelessly and he can feel Jackson beaming. 

"Oh. Well, that's wonderful. I'm glad you got to spend some time with your family. Will you and Jackson Sunbae be at the gathering after school? I'd really like it if you both could come," said Youngjae. Now Jinyoung can feel Jackson glaring.

"Well--,"

"We'd love to go! Who doesn't love free meat and drinks? Right, Nyoungie?" Jaebeom interrupted. Jinyoung's sure that Jackson's staring daggers at this point. 

"Great! I'll see you all tonight then," said Youngjae before bowing and exiting the classroom with his friends.

"Can I shoot him?" asked Jackson.

Jinyoung laughed and kissed his cheek. "Not in public, baby."

"Oh, come on, Jackson! Jinyoung feels nothing for Youngjae and we all know it. Don't take it out on the free meat and drinks, dude," Jaebeom whined. Jackson nearly strangled him after that remark but Mark and Jinyoung were quick to appease him with hugs and kisses.

"Look, how about we go, stick around until we've had our fill, and come back to our place to have our own private celebration?" Mark suggested. The parties agree and head back to their respective places to prepare for the gathering.

The restaurant was very modern but cozy at the same time. Soft rock played in the background and the gentle lights hanging from the ceiling made for a lovely aesthetic. Jinyoung made a mental note to bring Jackson back here for a date. He came with Jaebeom since Jackson and Mark decided to wash their old dyes out of their hair. As people started to pile in, the two brothers finally entered the building with their natural dark brown and black hair.

Jaebeom was practically drooling and even Jinyoung was finding it hard to contain himself. Jackson was wearing all black again but his clothes were fitting and the turtle neck was striking. They took their seat in one of the long booths, Mark and Jackson in the middle with Jaebeom and Jinyoung at the ends, and waited on the food to be served. 

"You look beautiful," said Jinyoung.

"I always do, but I like it when you tell so," said Jackson.

Jinyoung laughed at his remark and kissed his cheek. "Why'd you fix up so much? Are you trying to make a good impression on someone?"

Jackson shook his head nonchalantly. "No. I just wanted to look good tonight and shove it in Youngjae's face that I'm your one and only for the rest of our lives."

Jinyoung is more astonished than surprised at Jackson's words and goes in for another kiss. But Jackson turns just in time to make Jinyoung's lips land on his mouth instead. The couple giggles but a few seats away from them, Jinyoung can see Yugyeom scowl at them in disgust. That little bastard just had to be here. The food arrives and everyone happily digs in.

Jackson feeds Jinyoung and vice versa as more drinks and meat come their way. At one point in the dinner, Jackson leaves to use the restroom. He's never been good with alcohol. Jinyoung feels like he should join him since he's more of a lightweight than Jackson, but one section of the table is spinning a bottle and Jinyoung wants to know what's happening. Yugyeom is explaining the rules of the game in his annoying nasally voice. 

"If the bottle lands on you, you must confess your feelings for the person you like. If they're in the room, you can either tell them or kiss them. Either way, a confession must be made. Don't be a sore loser and back out once the bottles on you. If you're too embarrassed to kiss your crush in public, we can always make everyone close their eyes. Let's play!"

The game begins and Jinyoung loses interest as soon as he hears the rules. Some people had no morals. He's getting ready to go check on Jackson when he hears the students chant "kiss him" in his general direction. He turns to see Jaebeom French kissing Mark and the female students in their department clapping and squealing, commenting on how cute they were. And they were pretty cute. Jinyoung doesn't think he's ever seen Jaebeom this happy.

He can still remember a time when he wished that he was the one holding Mark in his arms and kissing him shamelessly, but he'd much rather have his beloved Jackson in his arms right about now. He's been in the bathroom for so long. Jinyoung milks his beer as he watches the bottle spin multiple times before it landed on various people. There was even a point where they all shut their eyes and waited for two people to kiss.

Then the bottle landed on Youngjae and he asked everyone to close their eyes. Jinyoung didn't want to, but in his drunken state, he obliged without argument. He can feel two hands on his shoulders making their way up to his cheeks. They're cold. Freezing almost. Jackson's hands are never cold. They're small and calloused but never cold. Jinyoung opens his eyes to see Youngjae looking down at him with his lips puckered.

Jinyoung's about to speak but Youngjae's cry of pain is enough to shut him up. The one responsible for causing such pain is none other than Jackson who is mercilessly tugging a chunk of Youngjae's hair and dragging him back to his seat. The two battle it out for a few seconds as Jinyoung tries to take hold of his senses and stop the chaos from getting out of hand.

"I'm pretty sure we made it very clear that we were dating you little brat! How dare you come anywhere near my man, you freaking scumbag?!" Jackson yells. 

Jinyoung and Jaebeom are the ones to pry Jackson's fingers out of Youngjae's hair. Once he has him under control, Jinyoung grabs their coats and heads for the door but Youngjae stops him.

"Sunbae, are you still playing this game? Are you still pretending to be in love with Jackson Sunbae for Jaebeom Sunbae's sake?"

Jinyoung feels every inch of his body go cold. His heart is beating like crazy and he suddenly feels too hot and clammy in his own skin.

"Jinyoung, what's he talking about?" Jackson asks. The anger in his tone from earlier still present.

"Honestly, Sunbae, that's so shameless of you," Youngjae continues, and Jinyoung's about to lose it. "How could you and Jaebeom Sunbae do this to Mark and Jackson Sunbae? I mean, yeah you both liked Mark and you were kind enough to give him up for your older brother. But to make someone believe you love them to that extent is just cruelty."

Jinyoung wants to tell them to shut up and die but he feels like he cursed himself to do so when Jackson pulls his hand out of his. Jinyoung can see him piecing up the story bit by bit and with every passing millisecond, he can feel his life slip away. Jackson's shaking. His eyes are wide, filling with tears and panic as he slowly backs away from Jinyoung. Jinyoung reaches out to grab him but Jackson evades him, looking him dead in the eye with his mouth moving but no words coming out.

"Is he...did you and Jaebeom...Is what he's saying true? Did you and Jaebeom...trick us? Did you...did you trick me, Jinyoung?" his voice is breaking and the tears start falling but it doesn't stop him from asking.

Jinyoung can feel tears spill down his own face as he looks at Jaebeom from across the room and Mark who's breathing heavily. He can't speak. Everyone is watching them and he can't say a freaking word. Youngjae and Yugyeom have matching grins on their faces and Jinyoung realizes at that moment that they planned this for reasons he could only guess.

"Jinyoung...tell me it's not true...and I'll believe you. Nyoungie, tell me that you and Jaebeom are just roommates, that you didn't date me to get me away from Mark so that Jaebeom could date him. Just tell me it's not true and I'll believe you. Tell me you love me and I'll believe you. I promise I'll believe you," Jackson sobs.

All Jinyoung can do is stare at him. He imagined this moment a million times in his head. The moment when either he would tell Jackson the truth or when Jackson would find out on his own. None of his imaginations had this scene as the outcome. In which everyone in their department would know of their lie and have Jackson feeling pathetic a second time.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Jackson. I swear I never meant to hurt y--,"

"You've liked Mark from the beginning, haven't you?" Jackson asks in a trembling voice.

"No, Jackson that's not--,"

"Don't lie! Please, don't lie! Don't you dare lie to me! Just...please," Jackson cries.

Mark is suddenly at Jackson's side and pulling him towards the door. An expression of disgust is etched on his features and it scares Jinyoung half to death. For a full minute, he's frozen in place before his mind kicks into overdrive and he's racing out the door to find Mark and Jackson.

The two had just entered a cab and driven off when Jinyoung spotted them. He was ready to hail one himself when a hand grabs him by the arm and spins him around. Jaebeom's glaring at him with tears spilling down his cheeks. His breathing is heavy and he's unstable but he manages to form words.

"Why...why didn't you tell me you liked Mark? Why did you go along with this if you had feelings for Mark since the beginning?!" he cries

Jinyoung shoves the other man off of him, suddenly sober enough to put up a fight. "Why did you come up with this stupid idea in the first place?! Why did you drag me into this, forcing me to smother my feelings and struggle to find new ones with someone I didn't even deserve?! You were stupid and selfish that you didn't even care about the people you'd hurt in the process of retrieving your goal! You only cared about yourself and ruined everything in the end!"

"Then why didn't you break up with Jackson as soon as Mark and I go together?! Why are you only blaming me when you had a hand in this too?! You could have said no, you could have broken up with Jackson, or you could have just confessed to Mark!" Jaebeom yelled.

"I only agreed to this because I care about you, Jaebeom!" Jinyoung yelled back.

"Do you?! I know you see me as nothing but an idiot but you never say anything because you pity me too much!"

"That's not true!"

"Don't lie!"

At the words "don't lie", Jinyoung snapped. He lunged himself at Jaebeom and tackled the older man to the ground. He got a few good hits before Jaebeom found an opening to tackle him instead. He knew how much the other worked out and was prepared to take the pain. Because as much as he hated to admit it, they both deserved to be punished for their stupidity. What better way than to do it to each other? 

After several minutes of uncoordinated punching, both of them were able to hail a taxi and get back to their dorm. Jinyoung showered while Jaebeom just curled in on himself in his bed without another word. Jinyoung got dressed into his PJs and sank under the blankets. It was cold. He can't remember the last time his bed was cold. Jackson was like a human radiator and now, he's alone. In a cold bed, with a beaten body, and a broken heart. Now, more than anything, he wishes Jackson would hold him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aigoo, that hurt. Please excuse any mistakes. I was super sleepy when I edited this. Now, after reading this chapter, go stream _Breath_ by our boys!! See y'all with chapter 13.  
> Peace!


	13. I'm Still in Love With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a sentence to the previous chapter at the very end. I missed it while pasting the chapter. This is just a crap-ton of crying and some side character appreciation cause they deserve some love too. Yes, even Jaebeom. Enjoy!  
> 

Jackson hasn't stopped crying since they got home. He's curled up, face buried in the blankets that smell like Jinyoung in the bed he practically made his own over the past five months. He wants to tear them off his bed but hold them close at the same time. Not being able to choose between the two is frustrating him, making him cry all the more. Because he can't decide. He can't decide on whether he should pick up his phone, dial Jinyoung's number, and order the man to come and hug him this instant or delete the beloved number from his contacts.

Mark is next to him, rubbing large circles in his back and repeating the same thing he's been saying for the past hour. "Jackson, this isn't your fault. You're not to blame, they are. You shouldn't beat yourself up for this, Jacky. Please, please stop crying. You're killing me."

And that's the last thing Jackson would ever want to do to Mark. But the pain in his chest, brought upon by the dark and unforgiving reality of being proven right about every dreadful thing he ever thought about himself was too much to bear. He wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth Jinyoung's love or honesty. Jinyoung's heart had never belonged to him. From the very beginning, Jackson had his doubts.

But with every passing day spent in Jinyoung's arms, he started to believe what they had was real. That every time he found Jinyoung in his bed in the morning, every night they spent kissing, touching, and loving. That every waking moment with the younger man was real. It was such a fragile and nearly invisible belief but Jackson held onto it with every fiber of his being. And now, it was reduced to less than air in the stratosphere. 

"Am I even worth loving?" he asked mostly to himself but Mark caught it.

"Don't say that. Don't you ever say that, do you hear me?" Mark scolded, but it didn't stop Jackson.

"Why do you even care about me? I've always wondered why you even stuck around this long? Is it because you pity me? Am I that pathetic?"

"Jackson, stop."

"I told him. I told him every last horrible thing that happened to me up until now and he told me...he told me he loved me. He said that he'd make sure I never got hurt again. He said he'd protect me!"

"He lied to you!"

"Why?! Why did he lie?! Don't I deserve love too? Am I not worthy of Park Jinyoung's love? Tell me why he lied! Why did he lie to me?! Is it because I'm a mess?! Is it because I'm not his type or is it because I never had a fighting chance in hell to be with someone so out of my league?!"

Jackson's vision turns white as his cheek burns and his head spins. It could only be the unmistakable aftershock of a backhand to the face, given to him by nonother than his older brother. He doesn't have a chance to gather his senses before Mark's hauling him up by his collar and shaking him vigorously. 

"Would you shut up for half a freaking second?! Are you even listening to yourself?! Who is Park Jinyoung to make you feel as if you're not worth anyone's love?! If I ever hear you say crap like that again, I'll give something worse than a slap to the face, do you understand me, Wang Jia'er?!"

Jackson's actually terrified. Mark doesn't get angry very often, but when he does, Jackson knows better than to put up a fight. Mark may be skinny but he packs a punch when needed. It's how they survived as children against their abusive foster families. Mark was always there to save Jackson whenever he felt alone or insignificant. No matter how dark things got, he could always rely on the older man to protect and comfort him.

He lowers his head onto Mark's shoulder and throws his arms around the other's neck as even more ugly sobs escape him. Jackson's exhausted but he can't stop. The comfort from Mark's arms around his waist and hand supporting his head does take the weight off a bit and he's soon silently sniveling on Mark's lap as the worst of his tears subside. 

"My cheek is killing me. I think you broke one of my molars," said Jackson.

Mark chuckled. "Hearing you say that crap about yourself pissed me off. Serves you right if your freaking tooth broke."

"What does it matter to you, anyway? I'm just venting."

Mark tugs on Jackson's sweater until he's sitting up and facing him. He cups Jackson's face as he speaks.

"Because I know it's not true. You're not pathetic, Jackson. You're one of the strongest people I know. The brightest, sweetest, most precious little human I have ever met in my entire life. Whatever negative thought you have of yourself isn't true. No matter how true it may seem, just know that it's not. And you don't need Park Jinyoung to prove that to you. Do you understand?" said Mark. Jackson nodded and bit his lip in an attempt to hold back his tears.

"I'm gonna go make you some tea. You cried a ton, so your throat must be drier than a desert at this point," said Mark as he stood to leave the room. 

Jackson laid back down on the same freaking blanket and checked his phone. He knew shouldn't have, but he at least wanted to check and see if Jinyoung was trying to explain himself. Sure enough, there were thirteen missed calls, five voice-messages, and zero texts. Jinyoung hated texting and that was one of the many traits he loved about him. He believed that people needed to use their voices and facial expressions in order to have a proper conversation.

He already misses their nightly talks that went on for hours. The sound of glass breaking and Mark cursing in Taiwanese makes Jackson jump from his bed and into the kitchen. He finds Mark picking up the pieces of a broken teacup and carefully placing them into the disposal. But something is different from earlier. Something Jackson feels like kicking himself for not noticing, not even thinking about until they were staring him in the face. Mark's tears. 

Jackson wasn't the only one who got hurt tonight. Mark loved Jaebeom too and based on what Youngjae said, Jaebeom was the one responsible for this stupid plan. Jackson walked up to him, not caring that he could have been stabbed by tiny pieces of glass, and pulled Mark into his arms. The older man resisted but Jackson held him tighter until Mark released the flood and clung to him like a lifeline. He shook so miserably that Jackson was afraid he'd shatter like that teacup.

Mark was undoubtedly blaming himself. When the same thing occurred two years ago and Jackson was throwing himself a pity party, he could hear Mark sobbing in the shower, see a tear fall into his food as they ate, or nearly suffocate himself with his pillow at night. Mark never showed Jackson the pain he was going through but was always there for Jackson's every need. It killed him to think that Mark blamed himself for this whole situation and he can't decide between the two bastards responsible who he hates more.

Jackson brought Mark into the living room and went to the closet where they stored winter blankets. They weren't stained with Jinyoung or Jaebeom's scents. He brought to the small couch and wrapped the two of them inside. It was like the shelter they used to make while trying to heal their bruises when they were younger. In here, nothing and no one could hurt them. Mark continued to cry until he fell asleep with Jackson's arms wrapped around him securely, hoping their bruised hearts would heal soon.

* * *

It's been a week. A whole seven days have gone by and Jinyoung hasn't been able to speak to Jackson once. Every call goes straight to voicemail, every message unheard, and whenever they pass each other in the hall, Jackson acts as if Jinyoung doesn't exist. And it hurts. It hurts so much that every second of Jinyoung's free time goes into needless studying. Chemistry, calculus, world history. Anything and everything he can pick up and read is all that takes up his brain space. Those and the hundreds of texts Youngjae sends him in a day.

The most shameful part is that he only reads them because, at the moment, Youngjae's the only person he knows on campus who gives a crap about whether he's is alive or dead. He hasn't seen Jaebeom for a while either. He's not there when he goes to sleep or when he wakes up. He tries calling him but the turdbucket won't pick up his calls. Jinyoung always says screw it but finds himself worrying about him nonetheless. It's on a particularly chilly evening while Jinyoung is walking towards the cafe near the campus that he gets a text from Youngjae.

_**Are you on your way to the cafe?** _  
_**I'm already here.** _  
_**Please meet with me? I have something important to tell you.** _

Jinyoung takes a second to gather his surroundings, suddenly a little self-conscious. He mentally kicks himself for thinking that he was being followed. By Youngjae of all people. The kid had a crush that went a little too far but Jinyoung was sure that what happened a week ago was the worst of it. At least, he hoped. Entering the cafe, he finds Youngjae seated at a booth near the window waving him over. He finds himself regretting this decision but he plans to end this meeting as quickly as possible. Once he reaches the booth, he squats with crossed arms.

"What do you want?" he asked curtly.

Youngjae looks shocked. "Goodness, Sunbae. Not even a formal greeting? Why are you so mad? We're so close, you know,"

"Youngjae," Jinyoung says in a warning tone.

"Alright, alright. Calm down. I wanted to apologize for what I did last week. It was wrong and I'm sorry," said Youngjae as he sipped his coffee.

Jinyoung feels his gut twist in anger but he holds it in for the moment. Maybe the brat had more to say. But Youngjae stayed silent. Sipping his drink and messing with the complimentary napkins in front of him as Jinyoung waited for him to add to his sorry excuse for an apology.

"Is that it? Is that all you have to say?" he asks, suddenly feeling impatient.

Youngjae pouted and shrugged. "What more do you want me to say? I told you I was sorry, now you should forgive me so we can be friends again. Maybe even more since you're single now, Sunbae."

Jinyoung wants to punch something. Preferably the little scumbag sitting in front of him. "Do you not feel even an ounce of guilt for what you did?"

"Sunbae, I said I was sorry! Can we please move on?" Youngjae whines. He's trying to act cute and it pisses Jinyoung off even more.

"You ruined the most wonderful thing I've ever had in my entire life and you want me to just 'move on'?" Jinyoung asked, on the verge of losing his control.

Youngjae sets his drink down and looks Jinyoung square in the eyes. "Sunbae, be honest. You never loved Jackson. You forced yourself to believe you did because you knew you were doing this for Jaebeom Sunbae's sake. You're always thinking of others but no one is ever considering your feelings. Not even Jackson."

Youngjae reached across the table and snatched one of Jinyoung's hands in a death grip. "I will always think of you first no matter what the circumstance. You can ask anything of me and I'll be happy to give it to you, Sunbae."

Jinyoung feels his skin crawl at Youngjae's words and he's suddenly too hot and disgusted to be in the same space as him. Something about his words and the tone in which he said them doesn't sit well with him. He pulls his hand away and stands up to leave but stops. If anything, he needs to know why.

"Why did you do it? I know you have a crush on me, but you could have done it in any other way than this. Why did you do it, Youngjae?"

Youngjae smirks with a distant look on his face. "Because I needed something that would permanently break you apart. I could tell from the way he always clung to you or tried to gain your attention that Jackson was insecure about your relationship. And when I learned that it was just a means of keeping him away from Mark, I was happy to shatter any and all hopes he had of ever meaning anything to you. He needed to learn his place. Because it wasn't with you."

Jinyoung is speechless for only a moment before his anger tips over the ledge. The smirk on Youngjae's face isn't helping. It mocks him as Jinyoung slowly begins to realize this is all his fault. Ever since Youngjae came into their lives, he never set any boundaries between the two of them. He never paid attention to Jackson's insecurity and scolded him for being mean to Youngjae instead. He wants to cry or scream but he settles on telling the truth. The truth he should have established the first time he noticed Youngjae's advancements.

"You're mistaken, Youngjae. The only place for Jackson is by my side. I would rather die than be with anyone other than him, especially someone like you. If you ever attempt to hurt him again, I'll deal with you myself. And I promise you, it won't end well."

With that, Jinyoung takes his bag and leaves the cafe.

* * *

Jinyoung practically crashes into his place and throws his bag across the room, shucking his shoes off and growling in frustration. He pulls at his scalp and slams his fist against the wall while making unhuman noises. He hasn't done this in years. Allowed himself to have a full-on tantrum full of growls and curses no person should be allowed to say at that volume. It doesn't stop there. He heads for his desk and tosses every sheet of useless studying he'd done over the past week.

Kicking his chair all the way to the corner of his room throwing books in random directions. He gets a grip on his desktop but is pulled away by a pair of strong hands that are almost too familiar. Jaebeom is and always will be the only person who can control Jinyoung when he's on a violent rampage like this. He crosses Jinyoung's arms over his chest and holds him until it starts to hurt and Jinyoung doesn't want to deal with pain right now. Physical or emotional.

He screams and kicks but Jaebeom holds him even tighter until Jinyoung can't fight him anymore and breaks into sobs. He's hurting so much right now. He wants Jackson back. He wants to see him, talk to him, hear his voice. He wants to hold him in his arms and stroke his hair until he falls asleep with that freaking Squirtle smile that gets him every time. He wants to touch him and kiss him until their both out of breath but still hungry for more.

He wants to turn back time to the day they first officially met with no ulterior motive and start a happy relationship with him. But he can't. He messed up big time and he can't change the past. He doesn't even have a chance to save his future and it makes him cry even harder. He sinks to his knees and feels Jaebeom go down with him. His hands never letting Jinyoung's wrists go as he chants.

"It's not your fault, Nyoungie. None of this is your fault, I promise. I'm sorry, buddy. None of this is your fault. You're okay. You're gonna be okay," said Jaebeom. His own voice breaking.

Jinyoung twists in Jaebeom's hold, making the older release him, and throws his arms around Jaebeom as he continued to weep. Jaebeom grips him tightly, trying his best to stay composed as his younger wept bitterly. Jinyoung cried on the floor for an hour, immediately regretting it when it came time to stand up and his sleeping limbs weren't having it. Jaebeom carried him with an arm slung over his shoulder until Jinyoung was safely seated on the bed. 

There were no words exchanged between them as Jaebeom cleaned the room, Jinyoung joining him a few minutes later until all was back in its place and there was nothing left to keep their minds off of the elephant in the room. Jinyoung speaks first because his mother always told him that the one who goes first is the bigger man. 

"Where have you been all week? You never came home and ignored my calls. You read my texts but never answered them. Do you know how worried I was?" he asked, careful not to raise his voice so as not to scare Jaebeom off. He was oddly soft like that.

Jaebeom fiddled with a string on his flannel shirt before answering. "I was here and there. I stayed at a friend's place but mostly at the sauna. I came back to get some clean clothes and found you ripping the place to pieces. I knew you were having a tantrum and that if I didn't stop you, you'd tear the place apart. I didn't mean to make you even more upset."

Jinyoung sighed and rubbed his sore face. "Are you going back to the sauna?"

Jaebeom shook his head softly and Jinyoung thinks he resembles a kicked kitten. "I...I didn't actually come back to get clean clothes. I came to see if you were okay. I saw you yell at Youngjae a bit earlier and followed you here. I only came in so late because I had turned to leave. But when you cussed, I came running. You only cuss when something's really wrong."

A dry laugh escapes Jinyoung's even drier throat as he plops down on his bed.

"Jinyoung," Jaebeom mumbled, not even lifting his head as he kept fiddling with that string.

"What, hyung?" asked Jinyoung.

Jaebeom takes a deep breath and faces Jinyoung for the first time since that night a week ago. His eyes are even redder than Jinyoung's. His face is pale and sunken and his hair is oily, a sign that he hadn't been doing too well this past week. It breaks Jinyoung's heart.

"Did you...did you really like Mark this whole time...and not say anything because you knew I liked him too?" Jaebeom manages to get out in a few breaths.

Jinyoung never wanted to have this conversation with Jaebeom. He wanted more than anything to keep his old feelings for Mark hidden from the older man for as long as he could. Jaebeom would find a way to turn the globe if Jinyoung asked him to and he knew that he'd gladly give Mark up if Jinyoung told him he liked him too. And that was the last thing he wanted to do. But Jaebeom wants the truth. He needs to hear it so they can get past this agonizing portion of their lives.

"Yes. I did like Mark in the beginning. It even hurt me to see the two of you together sometimes. But as time went by, and I started falling in love with Jackson, nothing made me happier than to see you both as a couple. I'd never seen you so happy, Beom-ah and I never wanted anything to take that away from you. That's the truth. I swear. Even now, I feel nothing for Mark and would gladly give him up again to see you smile for me right now," said Jinyoung as tears fell down his cheeks.

Jaebeom releases a broken sob and turns away from Jinyoung, only to turn back around and fall to his knees with his forehead pressed to the floor.

"I'm sorry, Jinyoung. I'm so so sorry. I was stupid and selfish when I had no right to be. You always do the most for me and I didn't even think of that when you agreed to do this stupid plan with me. I'm so sorry, Nyoungie. Please forgive me. I'm so sorry," Jaebeom pleaded.

Jinyoung pulled him up from the ground and bundled him in his arms as Jaebeom cried pitifully, stroking his brother's long hair as his own tears soaked Jaebeom's shoulder. After another round of tears, the two brothers laid on their backs on Jinyoung's bed. Throats raw and eyes stinging from their moment on the floor. The silence is pleasant but Jinyoung knows that any second now, Jaebeom's going to start singing or make a random noise to fill in the void.

"What did Youngjae do to make you so mad?" asked Jaebeom and Jinyoung's surprised he didn't start blowing air through his lips.

Jinyoung can't remember for a blissful five seconds before the events of that evening came crashing down on him. He groans and pinches the bridge of his nose at the memory but dishes out the energy to talk about the brat.

"He told me the reason why he acted the way he did a week ago," he started.

"And?" asked Jaebeom.

"He said that he wanted to break us up permanently, that Jackson should know his place and stay there. He said he was the only one who could make me happy and even held my hand," Jinyoung cringed.

Jaebeom cringed right along with him as he sat up with his legs brought to his chest. "The nerve of that kid. I told you that kid was bad news."

Jinyoung is about to protest but he's so happy that Jaebeom's able to make jokes with him again that he lets it slide. "Yes, you did, hyung. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you."

Jaebeom nodded with a confident grin on his face. "What are you gonna do about him now?"

Jinyoung sighed and threw his arms over his face with another groan. "I'm not sure. I honestly don't want to be anywhere near Youngjae at the moment."

"Why?" asked Jaebeom.

Jinyoung shrugged and rolled over onto his side. "I just...suddenly have a bad feeling about him."

"Well, I've just about had it with bad feelings," said Jaebeom. "Hey, how about we rent a car and go on a trip? We could go to Jeju to clear our heads and forget about this mess."

"Are we not gonna try and fix it? It is our mess after all," said Jinyoung.

Jaebeom shook his head and held his arms out by his sides like a shaman. "In order to clean what's on the outside, we must clean that is within. That's what grandma always says. Remember?" Jaebeom asked with his signature playful smile, making Jinyoung laugh.

"Where should we go first?"

* * *

It's been two months. Two whole months since they broke up and winter is now fully upon them. Jaebeom bought two more heaters--like the warm-blooded goofball he is--and Jinyoung bought them ugly sweaters in the spirit of the holidays. They informed their parents that they'd be spending Christmas on campus this year--got the ear burns to prove it--and decided to treat themselves to all the unnecessary pleasantries of the season.

Jinyoung was happy that he and Jaebeom had gotten closer over this time, but he and Jackson seemed to drift farther and farther apart. At one point, Jinyoung quit calling, quit hoping for Jackson to look his way in the hall, and focus on healing with Jaebeom. He was happy that his brother was still trying with Mark, believing that their trip to a temple in Jeju was a real eye-opener and was helping him find true focus.

Jinyoung on the other hand didn't see the point in trying anymore. If Jackson wanted him back, he would have at least responded to one of his calls. Jinyoung didn't want to waste any more time on someone who couldn't care less. Just the other day, Jackson came to his dorm and told him he wanted his clothes back. He had gathered all the hoodies--which were mostly Jinyoung's--and sweat, along with his extra pajama bottom and shirts.

The worst part of the entire visit was that Jinyoung's family thought it would be a perfect moment to facetime with their son. The entire family wanted to see Jackson and how he was doing and Jackson was gracious enough to play along. After an hour of the most discomfort Jinyoung had ever experienced, he hung up and Jackson took his things and left. Not without telling him to tell his family the truth about their breakup first.

"I don't want you to lie to them the way you did to me. They don't deserve that," said Jackson without giving Jinyoung a chance to respond.

It stung like a million angry bees in the summer heat. But he moved past it. He walked into his dorm that day, thinking to himself that it had been a while since his parents had called and there was his mother's name on the caller ID three seconds later. He picked up on instinct but froze when he thought about what to tell her if she asked about Jackson. Jinyoung was known for thinking on his feet, but he stilled prayed that she was just making sure he ate as she always does.

"Hey, mom," he answered.

_"Hello, my sweet son. Have you eaten?"_ his mother asked.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes with a smile. "Yes mom, I ate. Don't you see how big my cheeks are getting? I'm eating a lot."

_"Which cheeks? Your face cheeks or your--,"_

"Mom!" Jinyoung squealed. He could hear his mother on the other end dying of laughter.

_"I'm kidding, sweetie. I'm sorry. How's your brother? Is he eating well too?"_

"Mom, when is Jaebeom not eating?"

_"Good point,"_ said his mother.

"How are dad and grandma?" asked Jinyoung as he set his bag down and started to make himself a bowl of _ramyeon_. 

_"Well, let's see. Your father believes that he's discovered a new mineral and wants to take it up with the so-called "leaders of science" in every country you can think of. And your grandmother swallowed another quarter. That makes six this year,"_ said Mrs. Park.

" _Taebak_ ," Jinyoung marveled.

_"What you call fascinating, I call Tuesday,"_ Mrs. Park sighed. _"Now, tell me. How long has it been since you and Jackson broke up?"_

Jinyoung chokes on his noodles and has a coughing fit for a whole minute before containing himself.

_"So I take it you did break up,"_

"We did. But how did you know? Did he tell you?" Jinyoung asked feeling a bit frantic.

_"Jackson didn't tell me, Jin-ah. I look at his social media updates and he didn't mention you in the last ten posts. I figured you guys broke up,"_ said Mrs. Park.

"How could you tell we broke up by his SNS?" Jinyoung asked, a little more worried than disturbed.

_"Have you seen it? You can't find a single post from four months ago that doesn't have that beautiful face I created on it. Take a look and you'll see."_

Jinyoung goes to Jackson's Instagram--a bit surprised he hadn't blocked him--and finds pictures of himself he didn't even notice Jackson taking. His account was littered with selfies, candids, and videos with him and Jinyoung, and Jinyoung can remember all the places by heart. The latest and last photo of the two of them together was when they went shopping in Jinyoung's hometown. They both wore leather bomber jackets and baseball caps and Jackson was so excited to have matched with him for the first time.

They're kissing in one picture, smiling in the next, and Jackson's trying to bite Jinyoung's face off in the last one. Before he knows it, he's sobbing over the phone and his mother's trying to help him get it together. But he can't. He's tried for two whole months to ignore Jackson but he can't. Forgetting someone as amazing as Jackson Wang wasn't humanly possible.

_"You broke up two months ago?! Jin-ah! Why didn't you say anything?"_ his mother yells over the phone and he realizes he said those words out loud.

"Because I didn't want to believe it. I made a stupid mistake, mom and I didn't want to believe that we didn't have a chance. But now...now I know for sure that he doesn't care anymore. He doesn't answer my calls, he ignores me whenever we're in the same vicinity, and now he's posting pictures without me too. What am I supposed to do mom? This hurts so much," Jinyoung sobbed.

His mother didn't answer for a minute and then he heard her sigh on the other end. _"Jin-ah, whatever you did can always be forgiven. You just have to put in the effort. If he sees your efforts, I'm sure he'll have a change of heart."_

Jinyoung scrubs the tears off his face as he speaks. "You don't know what I did, mom. If I were him, I wouldn't forgive me either."

_"Were you unfaithful?"_ she asked.

"No! Why would I be?" Jinyoung squeaked in shock at his mother's assumptions.

_"Then it can't be that bad. Show him you're willing to go above and beyond to get him to forgive you. And if that doesn't work, always be there for him anyway. That'll really get his heart beating for you again."_

"Do you really think so?" Jinyoung asked.

_"I know so, honey. It worked for your father with me, I'm sure it'll work for you,"_ said Mrs. Park.

Jinyoung chuckled as he wiped away the last of his tears. "Thanks, mom. It was good talking to you. As always."

_"You're welcome, sweetie. I'm your mom, it's what I'm here for. Tell me when things work out for you both, okay? And tell your hyung I said hi. We love you both."_

"We love you too, mom."

* * *

Jackson gets off the second bus to the restaurant, ready for the evening rush hour. Physically, yes. Mentally, not so much. He spent another hour crying in his room today and hates that he does that so easily nowadays. He'd never admit it aloud to anyone but he misses the days his phone would ring off the hook and show him Jinyoung's name and beautiful face that he missed kissing so much. The younger man never called anymore and Jackson already knows why. Jinyoung chose Jaebeom over him.

Jackson feels an unnatural feeling of rage and betrayal whenever he sees Jinyoung and Jaebeom sitting together, laughing and messing with each other like the brothers they are. He knows it's none of his business so he feigns ignorance whenever they're around and practically stalks them when they aren't looking. He feels like a creep for doing so. One of the things on his list of things he'd never want to happen to his loved ones, is Jinyoung being stalked.

Even it was by him, Jackson wouldn't allow it to happen. He deserved that much. Jackson walked into the bustling restaurant and was met by one of his co-workers. He pointed to a table with a sorry expression on his face and Jackson's jaw nearly drops when he finds Jinyoung sitting at the said table alone with a small mountain of dumplings in front of him. If Jackson knew anything about Jinyoung, it was that he wasn't a big eater. He could consume ten cups of coffee if asked, but food wasn't his thing.

Another thing he notices--aside from the massive uneaten pile of dumplings--is that Jinyoung is sitting at the same booth they had their first date in. Jackson remembers Jinyoung being nervous and how much he laughed when he ordered twenty-year-old alcohol when he thought he ordered Coke. It was the cutest thing to see him take a sip and spit it right back out with the look of a two-year-old who tried their first lemon. He doesn't realize how close he is until his legs hit the table and Jinyoung's looking up at him with those lovely dark brown eyes.

"What are you doing here?" he asked curtly and Jinyoung gestured to the seat in front of him.

"Please, have a seat. I'll be quick," he answered.

Jackson's not sure why he listened to him but he does and chomps on a dumpling while he listens. Jinyoung looks as nervous as he did that night five months ago. And it's still as cute as ever.

"I have a lot to say but you're working so I'll make this as brief as possible," said Jinyoung as he wrung his fingers.

"Five months ago, in this building, you asked me what I liked about you. I told you that I liked the way you cared for others. To this day, it still remains one of the many reasons why I care about you. Four months ago, we stood outside this building and you told me that you wanted us to be like other couples. You wanted to do all the classic, cliche, and cheesy things other couples did...and I kissed you for the first time near the bus stop."

"Jinyoung, I know this stuff already. That doesn't explain why you're here," Jackson interrupts.

"I'm getting there. Give me a minute. Anyway, what I'm saying is, two very critical moments in our relationship happened in this spot. I told you two truths on those days. And even though it started out as a lie, I didn't lie about those two things: that I liked how you took care of people and that I wanted to do things the way other couples did as well. My point is, that in those moments, I wasn't thinking about the plan. I wasn't thinking about Mark or Jaebeom. I was fully focused on you. And...I'm pretty sure that's when I fell in love with you," said Jinyoung.

Jackson is utterly lost but doesn't get a chance to say it before Jinyoung stands up from his seat and bows deeply. He straightens himself up again and smiles softly.

"Jackson Wang, I love you. I've been in love with you since we first kissed at the lampost not fifty feet away from here. I made a terrible mistake and I am willing to pay any price you set for me. Just know this. I will continue to call you, text you, leave you voicemails, and find any and every opportunity I can to beg for your forgiveness. I won't stop until you forgive me. Please don't take it the wrong way. Enjoy your food and work hard," said Jinyoung before bowing and leaving the building. Jackson is still shocked at Jinyoung's words as he washes pots and dishes for the next four hours.

All the wheels in his head start to spin in creaking loops as he ponders on them endlessly until it's closing time and he has to take two bus rides home. On the way back, he remembers when he fell asleep on Jinyoung's shoulder and accidentally called him "peaches". He hadn't used that codename for Jinyoung in so long. He gets off his last bus and walks to his apartment complex. On the way up, he starts to look for his keys and accidentally bumps into someone, knocking the keys out of his hand. The jerk didn't even apologize. Just kept limping along.

Jackson ignored him and took the elevator, only now realizing the blood on his hand from the drunk in the parking lot. He wipes it on his pants and makes a mental note to wash them in the morning. Getting off the elevator, he rushes to his door as quickly as possible. The weather was no joke this year and the last place he wanted to be was outside. He turns the key and pushes the door only to have it stop midway. Jackson isn't as spry as he used to be so fitting through the small space was not an option.

"Mark! Hey, Mark what's blocking the door?! It's freaking freezing out here, man! I have to get it!" he whines and pushes against the door even harder.

Until the unmistakable sound of a grunt omitted from the space at his feet. Jackson looks down and realizes that his feet were stepping in a liquid that was too thick to be water. The smell of iron shocks his nostrils and he starts to panic. He forces his body in between the door and the jab and finds the light switch that reveals Mark laying in a pool of his own blood on the floor. He's clutching his stomach but Jackson can see blood spilling from other areas in his body.

Jackson's on the ground in something less than seconds and pulls Mark into a sitting position but slips and ends up covered in blood. And there's blood everywhere. His hands shake as he gently presses against Mark's body to check where the wounds begin. With bloody hands, he grabs his phone and calls an ambulance but he can't remember the number. He just realized that he hasn't screamed yet. Is he in shock? Can he even speak right now?

Mark needs to hear that he's gonna be okay, that Jackson will take care of everything and Mark will be fine. But no words come out. Tears spill and shaky breaths are released from his mouth but he can't say a single word. That's when he remembers the man coming out of his apartment complex with blood on his hand. The culprit passed him by. Without thinking, Jackson sprints out the door and into the elevator. He's running on pure adrenaline as he races to the parking area and starts to look in every possible direction.

His head spins. His ears ring and his knees give out. He's ready to crash to the ground when two strong arms wrap around him, holding him steady. As his vision clears and his hearing returns, he can hear Jinyoung's voice calling his name repeatedly. Jinyoung's warm and soft hands are on his face, pushing his hair out of his eyes. His tears fall and Jinyoung wipes those away as well. He's shaking and Jinyoung holds him close, not even noticing the blood until Jackson breaks them apart.

"Mark...Mark is in...Mark was stabbed. Jinyoung, there's blood everywhere. Save him. Please...please...please save him," Jackson manages to say before he passes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sigh* I just can't let these babies breathe for half a second, can I? We're at the home stretch, folks. The pain and misery are almost over. Almost. Chapter 14's gonna be a bit of a rollercoaster. Please excuse any mistakes. I wrote this instead of sleeping. STREAM _BREATH OF LOVE: LAST PIECE_ NOOOOOW!!! If you do, I'll take a fic request. Just one!  
> Peace!


	14. Stay With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For starters, I am so freaking sorry this update took so long. I had writer's block, I was confined to my living room (my parents are...different), and my job left me exhausted every day. I'm not too satisfied with this chapter and I hate to just give you what I can, but it's all I have. Please forgive me. The rewrite will be better...I hope. Enjoy!

Blood. There's so much blood. Everywhere. On Mark, Jackson, and himself. Jinyoung's been shaking for the past hour. Ever since he found Jackson running around his apartment building with blood all over him, his eyes wide and full of confusion. It scared him to death when Jackson passed out in his arms after saying Mark had been stabbed and took a full minute to come to his senses and call an ambulance. He knew he couldn't leave Mark alone so he propped Jackson up against a stone wall and raced to their apartment.

The sight alone made him want to faint as well. He wasn't thinking when he bundled the older man in his arms and brought him down to the parking lot where the ambulance had just arrived. They handled Mark and Jackson while Jinyoung sat in the back of the cold van with tears running down his cheeks and a shock blanket over his shoulders. The ride to the hospital didn't take too long and soon, Jackson and Mark were being hauled away on gurneys while Jinyoung stood at the door feeling like a walking corpse.

Thankfully, a nurse was kind enough to lead him to a chair and he plopped rather ungracefully on it, wrapping his arms around himself. He couldn't stop shaking. No matter how many times he told himself to calm down and keep his head on straight, he physically could not. Jinyoung heaves a sigh of relief when he sees Jaebeom running in his direction, his eyes wide and hair a wreck. He would feel guilty for pulling the other man out of bed at such a late hour if both Jackson and Mark being detained in the hospital until further notice wasn't the case.

Jaebeom grabs him by the shoulders and checks every inch of his body before pulling into one of his comforting bear hugs that Jinyoung could use a million of at the moment. He cries on his older brother's shoulder until the weight of the dire situation they were in seemed to dissipate just a bit. Jaebeom sat them down, his arms never leaving their spot around Jinyoung's trembling shoulders. 

"How long have you been here by yourself?" asked Jaebeom.

"Not too long. We got here about thirty minutes ago, I think. I can't remember," said Jinyoung.

Jaebeom releases another sigh. "What happened, Jinyoung? How did this happen? Why...who would...want to hurt Mark like this?"

It's Jinyoung's turn to hold Jaebeom as the older man omits silent sobs. Jinyoung is about to answer when two men who looked as if they'd been pulled out of bed were walking towards them. Jinyoung guessed that they were police officers with their sullen looks. They introduced themselves and asked if they could have a chat with the person who witnessed the matter somewhere private. They're about to begin the questioning when someone throws a screaming fit in the patient ward. It's Jackson. 

Jinyoung and Jaebeom race to the patient ward and find Jackson curled in on himself on the bed, hands latched onto his scalp in a death grip. There are nurses around him, trying their best but failing to calm him down. Jinyoung walks towards him carefully until he's at an arm's length and touches him softly. Jackson flinches at the contact at first, but when Jinyoung takes his hand out of his hair and holds it tightly in his own, Jackson finally looks up at him. The sight was enough to kill Jinyoung.

Jackson's pretty brown eyes are wide and full of fear and confusion. His face is stained with tears, snot, and spit from crying, and his cheeks are beet red. Jinyoung feels as if Jackson's eyes are glued to him. As if Jinyoung dares to look away, Jackson will crumble into a million pieces. A sob escapes the older man, followed by more tears, and before Jinyoung can comprehend the situation, his neck is trapped between Jackson's arms. Jinyoung strokes his back reassuringly as he tries to no avail to calm the other man down.

"It's okay, Jackson. I'm here now. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, baby," Jinyoung whispers in Jackson's ear. 

Jackson pulls back at the words and Jinyoung's afraid he said too much or something the other didn't want to hear. He's proven wrong when Jackson starts to speak.

"D-don't l-leave me. Don't...don't le-leave me...Jinyoung. Please...please, please don't leave me. I can't be alone anymore. I can't stand it. Don't leave me like Mark and my dad did. Please, please, Nyoungie, don't leave me."

Jinyoung doesn't know what to say but he can only imagine what's going on in Jackson's head right now. For all anyone knew, Jackson had already perceived Mark as dead and their encounter with his father in Jeju nonexistent. All he had left or could seemingly remember was Jinyoung. Jinyoung, who hurt him in ways no human should be hurt. The knife of guilt that's been embedded in Jinyoung's chest for the past two months makes another reassuring twist, sinking deeper and deeper into his vital organs. Jinyoung cups Jackson's face in his hands and kisses his forehead.

"I'm not going anywhere, Sseunie. I'll always be right here. I won't leave you, I promise."

* * *

It's been about thirty minutes since Jackson woke up and from what Jinyoung and the doctors could tell, he was in serious shock. The nurses suggested that the two of them get cleaned up in one of the bathrooms so Jinyoung asks Jaebeom to get some clothes for both of them at the dorm. Once the older returned, Jackson and Jinyoung were as clean as they could manage with the bathroom sink and a bar of soap. It was a tempting thought, but Jinyoung had already crossed so many lines tonight. He didn't want 'seeing Jackson naked for the first time in two whole months' to be one of them. 

Jinyoung handed Jackson the sweats and hoodie Jaebeom had brought them and told him to change in the stall. Jackson kept turning around as he made his way to the small space as if making sure Jinyoung was right where he left him and nowhere else. Once the door is locked, Jinyoung removes his clothes as quickly as possible and replaces them with fresh clean ones. He waits for Jackson, suddenly worried that he might not be able to put the clothes on by himself when he hears Jackson mumble something under his breath.

"Sseun-ah? Did you say something? Do you need my help?" Jinyoung asked, already standing in front of the stall.

Jackson repeats what he says a bit louder and Jinyoung can make out the word "Jeju" but nothing else. The door suddenly opens to show Jackson's crying face and his hands fisted in one of Jinyoung's hoodies. The previous blank and desperate expressions are gone and are replaced with disappointment and distress. Jackson must have recovered from his earlier shock, must've remembered all the words they exchanged that night and the promise Jinyoung made to stay with him.

"This is the same hoodie you gave me when I told you about my dad in Jeju," said Jackson. 

He doesn't give Jinyoung a chance to speak before he's out the door and down the hall heading towards the elevator with Jinyoung on his tail. The ride is taken in silence, Jackson immediately making his way to the two police officers who met Jinyoung earlier. Jinyoung takes a seat and waits until Jackson and the detectives are finished.

After what felt like an eternity, Jinyoung is asked to give a report on what exactly he was doing at Jackson's apartment building a quarter past midnight. Jinyoung vouches for the truth. He wasn't doing anything morally suspicious--as far as he knew. If they didn't believe him, they could check the CCTV cameras.

"I was waiting for him. I knew when he got off work and when he'd be home, so I waited for him in the alley near his apartment," said Jinyoung.

The cop already finds him suspicious. It's so obvious it makes him squirm.

"Why were you waiting for him at his house at such a late hour? Couldn't you have called or texted him instead?" he asked.

Jinyoung bit his lower lip. "I would have...if he answered my calls."

"Why weren't you answering his calls?" The question is pointed at Jackson who heaves his embarrassed sigh.

"We...we just recently broke up. He told me that he wasn't going to leave me alone until I forgave him so I guess that's why he was there," said Jackson.

"Has he been following you even when you told him to leave you alone?" The other cop asked and Jinyoung can already see how badly this conversation could go.

"No. He never followed me and I never told him to leave me alone. He does that on his own," said Jackson, confusing Jinyoung all the more.

"What exactly were you doing there, Mr. Park? I don't remember you answering that question," said detective number two.

"I wanted to talk to him face to face. There were some things about our breakup that I wanted to get off my chest and I needed to do it in person," said Jinyoung.

Detective number two looked down at detective number one, both looking confused and on the verge of annoyance. "Did either of you see the perpetrator before calling an ambulance?"

"I did. He was wearing all black. His left leg was messed up. It made him limp," said Jackson.

"Did you notice anything else? Body type, maybe?" asked detective number two.

"He was young, kind of skinny, and tall. A little taller than me," said Jackson.

The detectives mutter to each other before thanking the younger two and leaving the building. Jinyoung lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding once they're alone in the waiting room. He's about to go check on Jaebeom when Jackson starts to speak.

"Leave. You and Jaebeom. I don't want you both here. Forget everything I said about needing you to stay with me. I don't need either of you here right now," Jackson said in a sullen tone.

Jinyoung feels as if he cleared another line that shouldn't have been crossed once again that night. "You asked me to stay and I will."

"Now I'm telling you to leave. So take your friend and get out of my sight or I'm calling security," said Jackson as he stood up from his chair and walked in the direction of the OR.

And Jinyoung wants to leave it at that. He wants with everything in him to just let Jackson do what he wants and not have any more complications on the matter. But he can't. By now, he knows better than to leave Jackson alone when he's this vulnerable. He'll wrap himself in his insecurities and wither away like a leaf in the winter if no one is there to keep him company. He'll blame himself for the whole situation even though absolutely none of it is his fault. Jinyoung won't have that on his conscience. He runs after Jackson and grabs his wrist, turning the older man until he's facing him.

"I promised to stay. I won't go anywhere until both you and Mark are safe at home. At least allow me to look after you from afar. I won't get in the way, I swear it," said Jinyoung with a force he didn't know he had. 

Jackson's eyes are brimming with tears as he stares at Jinyoung. Weak, pitiful gasps escape his throat as he starts to sob softly, his wrist sagging in Jinyoung's hold.

"Please...please, leave. I can't take it. I really can't take it, Jinyoung. It's probably because of the hoodie...that I feel like you should be holding me right now. But you can't. You can't anymore. So, please...I'm begging you...please. Take Jaebeom and go," Jackson cried.

Jinyoung can feel tears run down his face and wipes them away without a second thought. He knows he should leave, but something about Jackson's words, his tone, and the state he's in right now is telling him to stay. Jackson _needs_ him and Jinyoung might be reading it wrong, but it feels as if he were actually begging him to stay rather than leave. He lets go of Jackson's wrist and grabs him by the shoulders instead, pulling him against his chest and stroking his hair.

"Don't think of me as the Park Jinyoung who hurt you. Think of me as a total stranger who's here to give you comfort and make sure you're okay. I just want to make sure you're okay, Jackson. I would leave because I want to respect your wishes, but I can't because my heart won't let me. So, please let me stay. Please," said Jinyoung.

The gentle tug from Jackson's fingers in the hem of his shirt was all he needed as an answer.

* * *

Mark was awake and talking after a two and a half-day comma. The first thing he did was hug his crying little brother, demand food, and sent the brothers back to their respective places. Jinyoung and Jaebeom didn't argue and returned to their dorm room while Jackson made Mark's hand his new place of abode. Not once did he let it go unless the other pulled it away from him.

Of course, it'd be returned to him in less than five seconds due to Jackson's crying sequence that Mark would much rather avoid. It was the fourth day at the hospital and they'd just received news that Mark could be discharged the next day when Jackson had just come out of the restroom only for his legs to be attacked by a pair of small but strong arms. Looking down--and trying to stop his heart from beating out of his rib cage--he was met with the innocent toothy smile of his little stepbrother, Lei.

The younger boy held his arms out to him and Jackson bundled the child in a loving hug before Lei went on and on about how he lost his two front baby teeth and was at the hospital because he needed to get stitches on his knee. Jackson's not surprised when he sees their father walking towards them with the same look of total exhaustion. As always, Lei was in places no one could find him at.

" _Baba_! I found Jackson _gege_!" Lei cheered happily.

Their father only smiles briefly before finding a place to sit down and squatted. Jackson put Lei down and sat next to his father who had concern etched on his aged features.

"You mind telling me what you're doing at the hospital? If you were sick, you should call, at least," he scolded lightly and Jackson feels his heart melt a little.

"No, _Ba_. I'm not sick. It's my foster brother. He was in an accident a few nights ago. I'm waiting for him to get better," said Jackson.

Ricky nodded solemnly and started looking around the hall for God knew what.

"Where's Jinyoung? Is he in class? Shouldn't he be here?" His father asked.

Jackson heaved a trembling breath as he shook his head. "No, _Ba_. Jinyoung...Jinyoung and I broke up. We haven't spoken to each other in two months now."

"May I ask why?" asked Ricky.

And Jackson gushed. He started from the beginning, on the day he saw Jinyoung for the first time in two years in his chemistry class. How they were put in the same group project and had dinner after they received a good grade. How Jinyoung confessed his feelings at the bus stop and how Jackson cried all night in disbelief. When he finally decided to accept his feelings and test the waters while trying to trust both himself and Jinyoung. How they finally broke the fourth wall and were open to each other's thoughts and opinions. How Youngjae came out of nowhere and blasted their relationship out of proportion to the point of Jackson doubting his worth.

Visiting Jinyoung's family and finding out that he too had secrets and fears about himself that he only let Jackson know. To the dinner with their classmates when Jinyoung's plan was brought out in the open for everyone to hear. Jackson was a sobbing mess by the end of the story and his father let him weep on his shoulder. Saying it all at once made it feel too real and his heart couldn't take it. They stayed in silence for a long time before Ricky propped Jackson up so he could face him. 

"Have you tried talking to him?" he asked and Jackson shook his head. 

"What is there to talk about? He lied and we broke up. That's that," said Jackson.

"Then how is it that you're talking to me right now? I did worse to you than what Jinyoung did. We talked and the matter was settled. You, Mark, Jinyoung, and Jaebeom--was it?--should sit and talk. Communication is key in a relationship between two or more people. It may seem as if there's nothing left to say, what's done is done, but there's more to it than that. Get together, talk, and heal. It's the only way the pain will go away," said Ricky. 

Jackson wanted to argue, but he knew his father made a significant point. It killed him to have to wake up in the morning and remember that Jinyoung wouldn't be lying next to him or just getting out of the shower the way he used to. It hurt, even more, to see him all day every day down the hall, in class, or at the cafe where he still studied with Jaebeom. If there was anything he knew for a fact was that when he was with Jinyoung, he was his happiest. The days without him felt like an anvil was dropped in his system and was pressing down on his organs. 

"I just don't want to have to deal with any more lies, _Ba_. I don't want to get hurt again," Jackson groaned softly. He's so exhausted from crying nowadays.

"Then demand the truth. Ask the right questions so they can give you straight answers. It's better to let everything out in the open than bottling it up inside you. It'll only make it hurt worse," said Ricky. 

The two of them talk for a few more minutes before Lei starts to whine for food and he and their father leave the hospital. Jackson returns to Mark's room and tells him about what his father suggested. Mark agrees, reluctantly, but asks to hold off from telling them about it until he was out of the hospital.

* * *

Jinyoung doesn't think he's ever been this nervous. The spontaneous call from Jackson the night before asking him and Jaebeom to meet him and Mark in the cafe at noon has rendered his stomach in knots and his toes with prickles. He's constantly checking the time--even though Jackson did say noon and he and Jaebeom got there at ten--and throwing a glance over his shoulder at the entrance. The clock finally struck noon and like they said, Mark and Jackson arrived.

The brothers stand--for reasons, they do not know--as the other two make their way to their table, giving polite bows and taking their seats. They order drinks and sit in awkward silence for about five minutes before Mark starts to speak.

"Before we begin, I just want to make it clear to you both that I won't be forgiving you. This conversation is solely for the purpose of getting closure. Nothing else. Don't expect us to end happily ever after when this is over. Do you understand?" Mark said in a voice so stern it didn't sound like him at all.

Jinyoung and Jaebeom nodded.

"Now, tell us why you did what you did. The truth and nothing else," Mark said, pointedly to Jaebeom.

Jaebeom let out a shaky breath before he answered. "I liked you from the first day I met you. I wanted to get to know you but Jackson was in the way. I forced Jinyoung to pretend to like Jackson in order to get him away from you. None of this is Jinyoung's fault. I was being selfish and inconsiderate of everyone else's feelings. I didn't think about what would happen if both of you found out later on."

"'If we found out'? Were you never planning on telling us?" asked Mark, clearly agitated.

"We were. I swear we were. Jaebeom and I planned to do so after exams but...circumstance didn't allow us the chance to. You at least need to know that we had every intention of telling you about it ourselves," said Jinyoung.

Mark doesn't seem convinced. If anything, he seems more upset than he was when he and Jackson arrived. 

"I know what we did was wrong, but I swear that we had no intention of keeping it a secret forever. Both of you meant too much to us for us to lie to your faces any longer. If there was anything I could do to take it all back and start over properly, I would," said Jinyoung, his eyes fixed on Jackson who was staring at a spot on the table. Almost as if he wasn't even there. 

Mark heaved an unpleasant sigh before speaking. "I would have let this go if you hadn't brought Jackson in the mix. Out of everyone at this table, he was hurt the most. You need to apologize to him, not me. Let's end this peacefully and not see each other anymore."

"Mark," Jaebeom choked, with tears already dripping down his cheeks.

"Jaebeom, please. Let's just end this peacefully. I'm begging you," said Mark.

It feels like a bad dream. Like a dream, you can't escape unless you run to the edge of the cliff and take a nose-dive to your doom. Jinyoung having to not only apologize to Jackson but to let him go as well was the cliff he never wanted to jump from. Jackson is his whole world. The beat of his heart, the air that he breathed, and the reason for his existence. He was the last person in the world he would ever want to lose but because of his selfish and stupid actions, he didn't have any other choice but to do so.

For the first time since their meeting started, Jackson looks Jinyoung in the eyes. They're red-rimmed and pleading. For what, Jinyoung couldn't only guess. Maybe Jackson wanted release. Perhaps he couldn't take the weight of Jinyoung's love for him any longer and wished to be set free, to move on from his hurt and Jinyoung. It's enough to twist the knife past the lungs and into Jinyoung's heart and before he knows what he's doing, his entire upper half is bowing in front of Jackson.

"I know that saying 'sorry' doesn't fix anything," he pauses to stand up straight, eyes connected with Jackson's. "but please understand me when I say that I am truly sorry. I'm so so sorry, Jackson. From now on, I won't bother you or try to convince you to forgive me. I won't follow you or try to win you back. Whether you forgive me or not is entirely up to you."

Jackson stands abruptly, face red and tears streaming down freely. He's upset but Jinyoung doesn't know why. Jackson grabs his hand and marches towards the bathrooms, checking if every stall was empty before he faced Jinyoung once again. 

"The backstreet, Jeju, even your parents' house. Doesn't any of that mean anything to you? You even found me when Mark was stabbed and I passed out. You stayed at the hospital and comforted me even when I told you to leave. Doesn't that mean anything to you?!" Jackson cries.

Jinyoung is confused. "Jackson...what are you trying to say?"

The older man holds Jinyoung's gaze for what feels like hours before he bows his head and lets it rest against Jinyoung's chest as he starts shaking with sobs.

"I don't want to give up on us. I love you so much, Jinyoung. It scares me how much I do," said Jackson, lifting his head to look at the other. "The last two months have been the worst two months of my life. I kept telling myself that I'd be fine, that it'd get easier with time. But it never did. It never did, Jinyoung. It just kept hurting more and more every day to the point that I thought I might die without you. And then you stopped calling and leaving messages. I thought you really gave up on us when you did. I thought I'd never get to see you or touch you or kiss you again. I thought I'd never get to tell you how much I love you anymore. I hated it so much. But when I saw you in the backstreet with that huge basket of _baozi_ , it gave me so much hope.”

Jackson lifted Jinyoung's hand, which he hadn't let go of since he grabbed it, and lifted it to his lips, kissing Jinyoung's knuckles and rubbing his thumb over them like he used to. 

"I need you, Jinyoung. More than anything. So please...please don't leave me again. Please stay with me for the rest of my life and even in our next lives if such a thing exists," said Jackson.

It feels like a repeat of that night under the lamppost months ago. Jinyoung was looking into Jackson's beautiful, honest eyes when he was telling him his deepest thoughts and feelings, that Jinyoung cupped his face in his hands and kissed him breathless. Nothing has changed between now and then. Jackson was in yet another vulnerable situation and Jinyoung couldn't keep his lips away. As they press together softly for the first time in two months, Jinyoung feels the life he thought he lost forever moments ago seep back into his being.

Making him pull Jackson so close that not even invisible atoms could get through. They kiss for ages, refamiliarizing themselves with each others' touch, scent, and taste before they release to take a breath. Jinyoung's thumbs stroke Jackson's puffy eyelids and kisses his forehead multiple times before setting his hands on his neck. For the first time in what feels like centuries, Jinyoung is witnessing Jackson's smile. A smile just for him and only him.

* * *

The worst part about getting back together with Jackson was not being able to celebrate it with Jaebeom. As soon as they returned from their evening classes, Jaebeom spent an hour crying in the bathroom until he fell asleep. Jinyoung barely managed to move him from the bathtub to his bed and once he was finished, he was rewarded with a call from Jackson.

"Jackson," said Jinyoung.

 _"Hey. Are you okay? You sound like you just ran a marathon,"_ said Jackson.

"I was just transferring Jaebeom from the bathroom to his bed. When he's asleep, he weighs more than an elephant," said Jinyoung as he made himself comfortable on his own bed.

Jackson was silent on the other end for a few seconds before he said. _"I want to see you. Facetime me. Please?"_

"Sure. Give me a second," said Jinyoung as he quickly got into a more inviting position before turning on the camera, feeling elated to see Jackson's gorgeous face encompassing his phone screen.

 _"You're going to bed this early?"_ asked Jackson.

"I thought it'd be a good idea. I don't have any homework and I'm exhausted from this morning's emotional rollercoaster. Some sleep will do me some good," said Jinyoung.

_"I want to call you mom. I miss her and everyone else so much,"_

"They'd be happy to hear from you,"

Jackson is silent for a moment, obviously thinking about what to say next. _"Do you really think so?"_

"I know so. They miss you too. Almost as much as I did," said Jinyoung.

_"Nyoung-ah,"_

"Yes, Sseun-ah,"

_"Let's never break up again. I don't care whose fault it is or what either of us has done. I can't live without you and I don't want to experience doing so again. Promise me that no matter what happens, we'll always stay by each other's side. That we'll get through it together and we won't block each other out. Promise me, Nyoungie."_

Jinyoung feels his heart clench at Jackson's words and makes a silent prayer before promising his fidelity to Jackson. that no more horrible obstacles such as the one they faced to block their future again.

* * *

Christmas break had finally begun and Jinyoung can't wait to spend the next two and a half weeks sleeping in with Jackson bundled securely in his arms. After their talk a few days ago, Jackson was able to convince Mark to start slow with Jaebeom. Their friendship was slowly starting to blossom once again but it was too soon to tell where exactly the two older men would end up. But Jinyoung was thankful nonetheless. For reuniting with Jackson, being able to have a decent conversation with Mark, and not having to deal with Youngjae.

Youngjae, who was always looking at them from across the room with a scowl that was deeper than the Mariana Trench. The younger man hadn't spoken to any of them since Jackson and Jinyoung got back together and Jinyoung's not complaining but he can't seem to settle properly with him around or even when out of sight. The cafe had been restored as their usual hangout spot once again and it makes Jinyoung all warm and fuzzy when he sees the people closest to him laughing and carrying on. Jackson's lips on his cheek snap him back into reality and he smiles when those big brown orbs are looking up at him with nothing but affection. 

"What're you thinking about?" asked Jackson, squeezing Jinyoung's hand lightly.

"Nothing really. I'm just happy to be able to hold you again is all," said Jinyoung as he nuzzled the older man's cheek.

Jackson plants a peck on Jinyoung's lips and whispers, "Always," before taking Mark's hand and heading to the counter.

The front door opens, allowing a mailman with a single package in his hands to walk over to their table and ask for Park Jinyoung. Jinyoung responds to his name and accepts the package, one with no return address or name of the sender. Just Park Jinyoung in bold letters. He rips open the package as the mailman leaves and finds the contents wrapped in a plastic bubble liner. He proceeds to unravel it and finds a medium red journal inside.

There's no name even though it has clearly been used multiple times and is bookmarked to a page. Jinyoung goes to the bookmarked page and his eyes land on one word: Peaches. The word appears multiple times in almost every sentence and Jinyoung's mind starts to slowly recollect where he's seen these pages before. It was years ago, during his freshman year. An article had been posted on the university's website about a person who had been writing vulgar letters to another student and stalking them. Jinyoung was claimed to be the victim.

His hands begin to shake as he reads the familiar words and handwriting. It's the same as the letters that the stalker who not only wrote this journal but spent two months tormenting him in his childhood room where some of his most precious memories were made. He doesn't realize that it was getting harder to breathe until Jaebeom had his hand on his shoulder and was checking him from head to toe. He's asking him questions but Jinyoung can't process them. The journal of the person who ruined his life is in his hands. He doesn't know whether he should burn it or submit it to the police.

"Jinyoungie, what's wrong? What's in the package?" Jaebeom asked.

"It's...it's the...it's him. It's the...stalker. It's the stalker's journal," Jinyoung barely manages to get out before his vision starts to blur and the dizziness settles in. 

"Jinyoung what are you saying? Is this really the journal from two years ago? Jinyoung, answer me, please!" Jaebeom begs but Jinyoung can't hear him past the thrum of his blood in his ears.

"Nyoungie? Jinyoung, what's wrong? Baby, what's wrong?" Jackson is there and Jinyoung sinks in his embrace.

"Jaebeom, what happened?" asked Jackson.

"I can't just tell you," said Jaebeom.

"He knows already, Jaebeom. Just tell him," Jinyoung mumbled from the crook of Jackson's neck.

Jaebeom was hesitant at first, checking left and right to make sure no one else was looking before he showed the other two the journal.

"How do you...why do you have my journal?" asked Jackson.

The blood in Jinyoung's system runs cold at Jackson's words. He sits up to face Jackson shaking his head as he does. "No, that's not your journal."

"It _is_ my journal. Check the back cover and you'll see my birth name," Jackson pressed and Jaebeom obliged.

Sure enough, "Wang Jia'er" was written in the back of the book. 

"What is this about? Why do you have my journal and why are you freaking out like this, Jinyoung?"

Jinyoung can't answer. He wouldn't even know what to say. His throat is dry, his mind is fogged up, and his entire body feels as if it'll fall apart with the next gust of wind. "The stalker's journal belongs to Jackson" kept playing on a loop in his head and he's no longer in control of his body. Backing away from Jackson, he clings to Jaebeom's sleeve like a lifeline, confusing Mark and Jackson as he did so.

"Can someone please tell me what's going on?! Jinyoung, tell me what's going, please," Jackson asks on the brink of tears.

"This journal belongs to Jinyoung's stalker. This is the journal in which he wrote all those terrible things he wanted to do to him. When someone found out about it, they posted it on the school's website in order to track down the one responsible. And now, we finally know who it belongs to," Jaebeom all but growled. 

Jackson's face turns into a white sheet as his breathing becomes uneven. "No. That's not possible. I didn't write those letters to Jinyoung. I didn't even use his name. I gave him a codename so no one would know. They weren't even vulgar, I swear."

"This says otherwise," said Jaebeom, passing the journal to Jackson.

As his eyes scan the pages, Jinyoung can see his tears staining the paper. "This isn't me. I swear this isn't me, Jinyoung. Jinyoung it wasn't me, I promise you. I wrote you letters and I kept them in here but these aren't the ones, I swear it, Jinyoung. Please believe me," Jackson sobs.

And Jinyoung wants to. He wants to with every fiber of his being. But the proof is there. So blindingly obvious and unforgiving. He doesn't protest when Jaebeom not so gently pushes Jackson away from him. Doesn't put up a fight when he's being led out the door, leaving Jackson behind in the cafe with Mark. He does turn around to find Jackson on the floor, eyes looking straight at him, full of shiny tears that fall down his cheeks and onto the floor. Jaebeom's pulling him but he wants to go back. The dark memory of hearing people talk about him behind his back creeps into his mind along with the fear of never being truly alone or having any kind of privacy because _he_ was always watching.

Jackson said he loved him so much it scared him, that he couldn't live without him. Could someone in their right mind simply forgive a person for doing such an atrocious thing to them without a second thought? Unless they were blinded by their obsession? The voices, the words on the paper in Jackson's very handwriting, and the sight of the man he loved crying on the floor, begging him to not leave him were too much for Jinyoung's feeble mind to comprehend. He can feel the darkness overpower him as he slips into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gasp* More fainting! Okay, I know that everyone at this point either has a theory, has started theorizing, or just wants to know what the frick is going on. The backstory is a little complicated and I hope I can explain it properly without it sounding like an info-dump. It might be the next chapter, it might not. We'll see.  
> Peace!


	15. Without You, I Fall Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is late. I was bedridden for a few days and could barely move. This chapter has some minor backstory. Most of it is explained by the characters instead of me just so that everyone can understand everything clearly.  
> Enjoy!

_**Two years ago** _

_The music booms loudly in Jinyoung's ears until he can feel the bass rattling his ribcage. Even though this was the last place he wanted to be, orientation was a must if he wanted to make friends with important students who would--as Jaebeom said--help him somewhere down the road. But so far, Jinyoung hasn't been making much progress. He's just happy that there are drinks and a compilation of other lonely freshmen that he can sit with._

_Jaebeom has completely abandoned him and he doesn't know anyone else here, thus giving him no other choice than to get drunk._ _But his stomach starts to hurt and he's suddenly regretting everything; life, school, knowing the likes of Im Jaebeom. A hand gently pats his shoulder and he jumps a bit at the contact. The boy who touched him had a chubby but cute face with small eyes and dark hair. He waves nervously before fitting an energy drink into Jinyoung's hand._

_"Thank you. You didn't have to do this for me," Jinyoung slurred and the kids smiled._

_"Don't mention it. I'm just glad I could help."_

_Jinyoung is touched, to say the least, and happy to have found at least one person in this room full of strangers--and his idiot older brother--to talk to. It's well past 11 pm when Jinyoung decides to call it a night. So what if he couldn't find friends and powerful students? Sleep was more important to him than anything and he felt as if he drank a pub whole. That would make him sleep the whole night long._

_As he tries to stand up, gravity pulls him right back down in a not so graceful manner. Making his rear land on the floor but his head on someone else's lap. The_ _person in question is looking down at him, brown eyes wide and confused. Jinyoung guessed that he was a foreigner due to his blond hair. He wants to get up but he's so exhausted and starts to make himself comfortable on the stranger's thigh instead._

_"I'm sorry. I just need to sleep for a few minutes. I'll get off soon. I promise," Jinyoung mumbled before drifting off to sleep._

* * *

Jinyoung can't feel anything when he regains consciousness God knows how many hours later. He hasn't passed out due to shock in ages and the aftermath has once again become foreign to him. He blinks hard until his eyes can adjust to the stark bright light above him and it clicks that he's at a hospital when he hears machines beeping and a tingle in his left palm where antibiotics are being inserted.

He manages to sit up on his own, the pain in his back from lying down in one position bringing feeling back into his body, and finds Jaebeom sitting on a chair in the corner. A cough escapes him, awakening the older man and Jaebeom's suddenly all over him once again. Checking if he was hurt in any way, shape, or form until he was satisfied. But Jinyoung isn't satisfied. Images from the last few hours start to replay in his mind. The words in the journal, Jaebeom pulling him towards the door, and Jackson...

Jackson.

Where was Jackson?

It's the only thing he can think of as he yanks the needle out of his skin, tripping over himself as he tried to find his shoes. Jaebeom's strong hands are pushing him back into bed and Jinyoung can't fight against him in this state. It frustrates him to his very core, making him release pitiful whines that lead to sobs when Jaebeom doesn't back down. 

"Hyung, get off! I need to find...I need to...find Jackson. Jackson needs me...he needs me. Get off!" Jinyoung struggles to no avail and finally gives into Jaebeom's strength.

"Jinyoung, you need to rest right now. Your head's not in it at the moment so you need some time to adjust. Please, calm down, Nyoung-ah," said Jaebeom soothingly.

Jinyoung decides to listen to him, taking deep breaths to relax his muscles and calm his mind until he was able to speak coherently again.

"What happened? How long was I out? Where's Jackson?" He asked without missing a beat.

Jaebeom sighed and scrubbed his face before pulling the chair in the corner all the way to Jinyoung's bedside.

"Jinyoung, you have to listen to me very carefully, buddy. Okay? For the time being, until we know more at least, stay away from Jackson. Can you do that for me?" said Jaebeom, as if he were talking to a child.

"Why can't I see him? Hyung, I don't remember what happened yet. You have to tell me. Explain it to me, please, hyung," Jinyoung pleaded as he took Jaebeom's hand in his.

Jaebeom exhaled sharply, something he only does when he's about to cry. "Jinyoung...Jackson was the one who wrote the journal. He wrote the letters that were in that journal...and probably the ones that were in your room two years ago. His claiming of the journal that was sent to you...proves that he was your stalker. I know you love him, buddy...but I...I can't let you see him. It killed me to know that there was something wrong with you that you never told me about and I never noticed until it was too late. I don't want to fail you again, Jinyoung. So please, let me protect you this time, yeah?"

Jinyoung is rendered mute once again as his tense muscles begin to uncoil and his body sags back onto the bed like a lifeless doll. He hoped it had all been a dream. No, a nightmare. The worst nightmare he ever had and he'd be waking up next to Jackson who would gladly hold him until the shivering aftermath passed on. But this wasn't a nightmare. It was something much worse. Reality. One he couldn't fully accept at that. As he brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, his mind began to assess.

Jackson, the one he loved and cherished more than life, had revealed himself to be his stalker. None of him believes it. Save that dark, tempting voice in the back of his mind offering him release from the strenuous denial if only he accepted this as truth. But Jinyoung knew himself better than that. He would never accept this as truth, no matter how much evidence and proof was put before him. His heart wouldn't allow it. There's a soft knock at the door that pulls him out of his thoughts.

Jaebeom is standing at the ready like a tiger waiting to pounce as the one who knocked walked into the room. It was Youngjae. Of all the people on the planet who could have walked in at this moment, did it have to be this freaking brat? Youngjae looks pail, almost gaunt as he holds a small shoebox in his hands, never taking his eyes off of Jinyoung once. He stops at the foot of his bed and bows at the two brothers and Jinyoung realizes his eyes are red-rimmed. As if he'd been crying for hours.

"Hello, Sunbae. I saw you fall near the door of the cafe and was worried that you might be hurt. You're not hurt, are you Sunbae?" Youngjae asked in a voice that sounded truly concerned.

"I'm fine, Youngjae. What do you want?" Jinyoung can't help the disdain that drips into his tone as he asks.

Again, Youngjae doesn't take his eyes off of Jinyoung even once as he speaks. "Jaebeom Sunbae, can you give us the room. I need to show something to Jinyoung Sunbae alone. It's extremely important. I'll leave after I show these to him."

Jaebeom gives Jinyoung a side glance before leaving the room. Jinyoung wished they didn't have to condone Youngjae but it was best to get him to leave as soon as possible. Youngjae moved from his spot and sat on the chair next to the bed. He places the shoebox on the bed and pushes it towards Jinyoung slowly. 

"What is this?" Jinyoung asks confused.

Youngjae closed his eyes with a sigh before speaking. "Open it. You'll see," said Youngjae.

Jinyoung frowned but proceeded to open the box and found it held at least a dozen envelopes. Letters. Jinyoung can remember every color that was found when he woke up to the sight of one staring at him. 

"How...how did you get these?! I burned them all! How did you--,"

"I was the one who sent you Jackson Sunbae's journal. I found out who your stalker is and even brought you the proof. Since Jackson Sunbae was obsessed with you, he made copies of the letters he sent. Read them. You'll know I'm not lying," said Youngjae.

"I don't need to read them again! And how dare you read these?!" Jinyoung grits, feeling all the more violated that someone else outside of his circle knew about his past.

"I didn't mean to, Sunbae," said Youngjae.

"You still haven't answered my question. Where did you find these?" Jinyoung all but growls.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"That's why I asked, isn't it?"

Youngjae bowed his head and Jinyoung can hear him sniveling as he speaks. "I found them buried under the brick wall surrounding Jackson Sunbae's apartment building. He must've--,"

"Stop. Don't say another word. Get out," said Jinyoung.

At that, Youngjae lifted his head and grabbed the shoebox, pulling out one of the letters and shoving it in Jinyoung's face.

"Don't you see this, Sunbae?! It's his handwriting! How could you keep on denying it when all the proof keeps pointing back to him?!" Youngjae shrieked.

"SHUT UP AND GET OUT!" cried Jinyoung as he hurdled the shoebox across the room, letting the letters fly all over the place.

Jaebeom burst in and ran to Jinyoung's side, demanding Youngjae to leave and practically pushing him out himself. Youngjae fought against him, repeating over and over that Jackson was the culprit and that Jinyoung needed to accept it. Once he's out the door, Jaebeom returns to Jinyoung who is convulsing with sobs. As the younger melts into his older brother's embrace, he also repeats a sentence that he'll never retract.

"It wasn't Jackson. It couldn't have been Jackson. It wasn't my Jackson."

* * *

_"112, what is your emergency?"_

"I'd like to report a stalker,"

_"Do you know who the stalker is?"_

"Yes. And I have evidence,"

_"Can you tell me where we can find them?"_

* * *

Jackson doesn't think he's cried this much within the same amount of time in the past twelve years. The dizziness has settled in as he lays on his back on the bed he just started sharing with Jinyoung again, hoping the ceiling would fall and take him out of his misery. Mark knocks for the fourth time in twenty minutes and Jackson still won't open the door. He's never locked the door on Mark before. Jackson always welcomed a hug, a kiss, or words of comfort whenever he was sad.

But for some reason, he can't bring himself to face Mark. He remembers telling Mark two years ago that he was falling hard for the freshman that he met at orientation and wondered if his older brother didn't think that stalking him wasn't impossible for someone like him. Jackson knows he shouldn't think such thoughts, but once planted, they grow. He can hear Mark sitting on the floor, ready as always to wait until Jackson has to relieve himself before he can attack him with comfort and encouragement.

There's a knock on the front door and Jackson can only guess who'd be so rude as to visit them at a time like this. Mark stands and walks to the front door while Jackson throws the blanket over himself as if trying to hide from any further interaction with the outside world. Then he wondered if the person at the door was Jinyoung. Could he have really come back? Could he have believed Jackson and was ready to pull him close to his chest and tell him everything was okay again?

The thought alone made Jackson run for the door, yank it open, and make his way clumsily to the living room. But when he arrived, Jinyoung was nowhere to be found. The only people standing in the living room were Mark and the two detectives from the hospital a few weeks ago. Jackson's heart starts to pound through his ears as one of the men pushes past Mark and makes his way towards him with handcuffs on display. Did Jinyoung really call the police already? Was he seriously having him arrested?

"Jackson Wang, we need you to come down to the station with us for questioning. If you resist, I'll have to use force. Please, comply so we can get this over with quickly and quietly," said the detective.

* * *

The interrogation room isn't cold but Jackson can't stop shaking. He doesn't want to entertain the thought of Jinyoung calling the police to come and arrest him for a crime he didn't commit. Could the journal alone be considered solid evidence? It contained the impure thoughts with Jackson's handwriting but he's sure that there was a process that would allow him to get out of this without further complications.

The journal Jinyoung received was a fake, handwriting be damned. A man walks in with a manilla folder, the fake journal, and a shoebox and sits across from Jackson with a heavy sigh. The folder looks thick and Jackson knows it holds his entire life in it. The man set the shoebox next to him on the table and opens the folder, nodding and shaking his head as he read one page after the other. The detective sets the folder aside and folds his hands, looking at Jackson as if he were a real felon.

"Mr. Wang, my name is detective Go. You may call me 'detective' or 'sir', is that clear?" said detective Go.

Jackson nods. "Yes, sir."

"Do you know why you're here?" 

"No,"

"Well, we got a call stating that you are apparently the stalker of a college student known as Park Jinyoung. A repeat offender apparently,"

"That's not true," Jackson responds.

"Explain to me how it's not true when the informer said they had proof?"

"Evidence can be fabricated and I'm telling you, it is."

"I haven't even shown it to you though. We'll rethink the fabricated evidence bit when you see what we have," said Go.

The older man slides the shoebox across the table and Jackson opens it to find colorful envelopes sitting inside.

"Do you recognize those envelopes?"

"No, why should I?" 

"Open one and read it,"

Jackson did as he was told, still unsure as to why the envelopes were not only missing the sender and the receiver but why this was important to his case to begin with. He pulls a letter at random and only manages to read the first sentence before pushing it and the shoebox back to detective Go. These were _the_ letters. The letters that were hidden in Jinyoung's room every morning after the stalker would leave. The detective picks up to abandon letter and reads it aloud.

" _"I want to break your legs so you can't run away from me."_ ,"

"Stop it."

" _"I want to eat your flesh piece by piece until I've had my fill of your milky, sweet body,"_ ,"

"Stop it, please!"

"You wrote this. Why are you so disgusted?"

"I didn't write those! I would never write such things to someone I care about!"

"Obsession can be seen as care to people like you,"

"These letters are from the creep who stalked Jinyoung at school all the way to his childhood home! They snuck into his room and left one for him there every night, leaving him to wake up in the morning with the knowledge of someone being in his private space at a time in which he was vulnerable. His mother told me about it for the first time when we went to go see them,"

"Your point?"

I've never set my eyes on these letters! I was sure that Jinyoung got rid of them a long time ago," said Jackson, his voice already cracking up.

Detective Go opens Jackson's folder and skims a few more paragraphs before closing it again. "Look, I get it. Your father left you at an orphanage when you were twelve, you were bumped from house to house as a kid, so clearly, you have some abandonment issues. When you set your heart on something--or someone--, you tend to become protective. Even obsessive."

Jackson wants to punch the living crap out of the douchebag that's sitting in front of him, shamelessly stating his past as if it meant absolutely nothing. It was true that he did fear abandonment but he never became obsessive. He would love, not consume.

"Don't you dare try to act as if you understand my situation. Like I said before, evidence can be fabricated," Jackson snarled.

Detective Go grabs a piece of paper and pencil and hands it to Jackson. "Write something. We'll see if this evidence is fabricated or not."

"Ever heard of forgery?" Jackson quips but Go is unphased.

Jackson writes the name of the one person he wants to see right now. The one whose arms he wants to be wrapped in, whose lips he wants to kiss, and whose laugh he wants to hear. He writes "I love Park Jinyoung" and slides it back to Go who compares it to the letter he read and sighs. 

"Looks like we'll have to hold you here until further notice. Someone will escort you to a cell," said Go as he took his things and left.

Jackson waited until another officer came in and hauled him up from his seat by his arm. The man led him to a cell and left him inside then he locked the door and went back to his own business. The cell is cold but there's at least a blanket. Jackson wraps himself in it and hides his face from the officer keeping an eye on his cell and cries again. Even though he feels like his face might break apart due to being so freaking sore.

* * *

It's late and all Jinyoung wants to do at this point is to get some sleep. His face hurts, his body aches, and the fact that there is a needle in his hand is starting to mess with his head. He gets dressed and asks Jaebeom to get him discharged as he changed. Jaebeom barely makes it out the door before someone practically charged into his room. It's Mark. He's sweating despite the cold and panting like he'd just run a marathon. His eyes are red-rimmed and wild and it honestly scares Jinyoung a bit.

"Drop the charges. It wasn't Jackson so drop the charges. Please. If you want proof, I'll get you proof but for right now, get Jackson out of that holding cell," said Mark.

Holding cell? Why was Jackson in a holding cell? Jinyoung never called the police to report anything and he knew Jaebeom wouldn't do something like that considering how bad Mark would feel if he did. 

"I didn't report anything. I haven't said anything to anyone since I got here. Why is Jackson in a holding cell? I didn't press any charges, I swear," said Jinyoung.

Mark scans the room for a few seconds before walking over to Jaebeom and searching his pockets. He pulled out Jinyoung's phone and handed it to him. "Call up the station and have them release Jackson, now."

Jinyoung takes his phone with shaking hands as he dials the number and waits. A woman answers the phone and Jinyoung asks if Jackson was still being held at the station. They go through a bit of a process before finally being able to drop the charges and have Jackson released. Once the deed was done, Mark exhaled deeply and plopped onto the bed. He fished a piece of paper out of his inner jacket pocket and handed it to Jinyoung.

"Jackson's always liked you. Ever since he met you at orientation night two years ago. He did keep a journal, he did write you letters, but he never stalked or harassed you. His intentions with you were pure and loving. The only reason why he didn't act on them before, was because he was thinking of me. He's always thinking of me, that idiot," said Mark as a tear fell from his eye. "Read this. It's one of the first letters he wrote to you. I kept it because I loved it so much."

Jinyoung takes the letter from Mark and unfolds the weathered page carefully. The handwriting is the first thing he recognizes. But it's not the handwriting of his potential stalker, it's that of his loving, beautiful partner that he'd give anything to see right now.

_Hello, Jinyoung._

_Are you well? Have you eaten? Jinyoung, Jinyoung, Jinyoung. I finally know your name. It's so sweet I don't want to stop saying it. My heart flutters whenever I write it on a page or whisper it while I'm alone. I hope that one day, I'll be able to speak to you. Call your name and have you answer me with that unbridled smile of yours that you always cover with your pretty hands. I wish you'd show it to me sometime. Nothing in the world looks more beautiful than your smile. I'm ranting, aren't I? Well, so be it. You'll never read this anyway._

_I wish you would notice me the way I notice you. I wish we could have a conversation that would end with the two of us laughing our heads off. I wish I could eat with you, study with you, and be granted five minutes--just five minutes--to look you in to your beautiful brown eyes. I wish I could hold your hand and tell you my bad jokes that you would laugh at because you'd be the only one who found them funny._

_I wish I could talk to you on bad days when I'm trapped in my own head with all my demons screaming at unnatural volumes. I wish you could wrap your arms around me and tell me everything is okay and that you won't let anything hurt me. I wish you could promise me to never leave me, to always stay by my side no matter how dark the situation may be. I wish I could do so many things with you Jinyoung. Even if I couldn't be your lover, I'd settle for being your dearest friend._ _I can still remember how lonely you looked at orientation two years ago._

_I remember when you fell on my lap and told me you just needed a few minutes to sleep and you'd leave immediately. I'll never forgive myself for not talking to you then and there. For not asking you to do all the things I just wrote down. Who knows? Maybe we could have become more than friends. I wish I could be more than a friend to you. Would you let me, Jinyoung? Would you look past my faults and imperfections and love me for who I am? Even if the whole world was telling you differently, would you trust me? Would you stay by my side?_

Jinyoung closes the letter with fresh tears falling down his cheeks. His legs can't support him anymore and he falls awkwardly onto the bed. The fact that he doubted Jackson's honesty and devotion to him for even a second makes him feel like the worst person alive. His conviction to see Jackson grows stronger as he wipes his tears and forces himself to stand up. He's out the door without a word and races to the nearest elevator with Mark and Jaebeom on his heels.

* * *

Jackson didn't bring his wallet or his phone. He knows that the police station is quite a ways from home but he's got time. As he trudges down the street, he takes in all the events that have happened in the space of a few hours. He remembers the two months he spent in misery because Jinyoung wasn't with him during that time and decides to accept it as his fate once again. For all he knew, Jinyoung never wanted to see him again.

He'd never be held by his strong, loving arms. Never be kissed by his plush, soft lips and never be touched by his delicate fingertips. He'd lose Jinyoung and never get him back. The thought alone was enough to make him cry in the middle of the street, seated on his haunches with his face buried in his knees. He didn't care who was watching him and sobbed to his heart's content until he heard his name being called by a voice so unmistakable he didn't believe it. Until the voice said "Sseunie".

And there he was running towards him. Jackson has to pinch himself as he slowly rises to his feet just in time before Jinyoung nearly tackles them both to the ground. He's heaving and sobbing as his arms hold Jackson in a death grip. Jackson doesn't know what to say or do. He can't even move right now as he waits for Jinyoung to explain to him what was actually happening. Jinyoung's sobs become shaky breaths but his hold doesn't relent.

"I do notice you. I'll laugh with you, eat with you, study with you, and let you look at me for as long as you want. I'll hold your hand and laugh at your jokes because they don't suck, Sseun-ah. I love them so much," said Jinyoung, and Jackson can't help but feel like he's heard these words before. Jinyoung lets him go but holds his face in his hands as their foreheads rest against each other.

"I'll block out the screams with 'I love yous'. I'll wrap you in my arms and tell you everything is okay until you feel better. I'll never leave you. I'll stay by your side no matter how dark the situation and not only be your partner but your dearest friend,"

"Jinyoung, did you--?"

"I'll look past your faults and imperfections and love you for who you are. Because you're beautiful, Sseun-ah. Inside and out. And I love you so much. I'm so sorry, baby. I love you so much."

With that, Jinyoung smashed their lips together in a desperate kiss that took Jackson's breath away. His hands automatically come around Jinyoung's waist and lock the younger man in his embrace. Jinyoung's do the same around his neck and those gentle fingers card through his hair as he does so. When they release, Jinyoung pulls Jackson in for another hug and Jackson thinks he can die happy right now.

"Did you read the letter Mark stole from my journal?" asked Jackson, still a bit from crying earlier.

Jinyoung nodded and kissed Jackson's neck before pulling back all the way and hold Jackson's hands in his. "I read it twelve times. Until I could memorize every word," he says as he pushes a loose strand of Jackson's hair behind his ear. "Jackson, I didn't call the police and I don't know who could have. What I do know is that you didn't stalk me or write anything that would hurt me. Let's put this behind us once and for all and never think about it again. This is the last time our relationship is going to be harmed by our past. Let's stay together and live well from now on, okay?"

Jackson can't get over the sweet tingle in his nerve that occurs whenever Jinyoung touches his face. He holds on to his lover's palm and kisses it before answering. "Okay,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter and it'll finally be over! I'm so freaking happy right now!!! Chapter 16 will hopefully be up in a week or ten days. Hopefully. Please excuse any mistakes. Your girl is tired as fudge. Listen to _Should've Let Go_ and support our boy!  
> Peace!


	16. Hide and Seek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry guys. I was all over the place throughout the holidays and was only able to start writing a few days ago. Super sorry my dears. Since I was on a time crunch, I split this chapter in half. Don’t worry, though. The last chapter will be full of victory, justice, and unhealthy amounts of fluff. Plus a sprinkle of smut.  
> Enjoy!

There is a series of "wrong things" that happen to Jinyoung when he wakes up the morning after the second-worst day of his life. One being that Jackson wasn't in bed when he woke up. Ever since they started sleeping in the same bed, Jackson has never once woken up before Jinyoung. It's not that it was impossible, it just never happened. Ever. As he struggles to pull his tired limbs out of bed and find a proper set of clothes to go out with, the second "wrong" thing occurs. 

Sitting at the dining room table with their eyes laser-focused on sheets of paper--Jinyoung can only guess the contents--are Jackson, Mark, and Jaebeom. They don't even notice him walking towards them until he stubs his toe on Jaebeom's abandoned shoe--that's sitting right in the middle of the freaking room for some reason--and lets out a soft whine. Their heads shoot up and they're quick to stash the sheets of paper they were reading only seconds ago. Trying and failing to act as normal as possible.

"I hope you guys don't actually think I'm that stupid," Jinyoung deadpanned, making the other three shift in their seats.

It's thanks to the shifting that Jinyoung can see a bright-colored envelope tucked under Mark's arm. He recognizes it immediately and his heart starts to constrict. It must've been obvious because Jackson's next to him in only a few seconds, gently leading him to the living room but Jinyoung pushes him away. Jackson looks hurt, not the confused kind, but the guilty. He turns back to Jaebeom and Mark who have the same looks on their faces.

"I know I didn't tell this to everyone, but I told you, Jackson. I told you I wanted to forget about our past and move on. The letters included," Jinyoung scolds with only half the anger he feels in his chest.

Jackson takes Jinyoung's hands in his, gripping them so he won't pull away. "I know, baby, I know. Trust me when I tell you, I don't want to do this to you either but--,"

"But what?! What's so hard about burning those letters and never remembering this part of our lives again?" Jinyoung snaps.

"Because we can't, Jinyoung!" Jaebeom's voice sounds from behind them, making Jinyoung jump. His older brother's brow is furrowed as he makes his way towards the two. In his hand, he holds one of the letters and when he's this close to him, Jinyoung can see the redness in his eyes. He'd either been crying or was about to and neither sat well with Jinyoung. With a shaking voice, he begins to speak.

"I've had to read some of the worst things I've ever seen about someone I care so much about. The things I've read make me wanna go out there and shoot up Seoul until we find this stalking bastard and make them pay for what they did to you. I know you don't want to and I know it may look like we're being selfish, but we're doing this because we care about you. Imagine if we let this go and they come back again? Will you really be able to sleep at night or even go out in the day without fear of being watched? If we don't find this dick and put them away, how are you going to live? How are we going to live?" asked Jaebeom.

The sincerity in Jaebeom's eyes makes Jinyoung want to kick himself for acting like such a jerk. He wanted to forget. More than anything in the world, Jinyoung wanted to forget the struggles of his college career, marry Jackson, and live in the countryside with his parents for the rest of his life. But to do that he needed to face this dark ugly being that was his fear of never being at peace. As if he read his mind, Jackson's hands cupped his cheeks and stroked his temples lovingly as he spoke. 

"You won't have to face this alone. I don't care how long it takes or what I have to do to get it done. I'll make sure that no one will ever get to hurt you like that again, okay?"

One tear becomes two and before he knows it, Jinyoung is bundled up in Jackson's and Jaebeom's arms with his face buried in Jackson's neck. God, he's so sick of crying. After a few minutes of much needing hugging, the three of them take their seats at the table, Mark strategically removing any and all signs of the letters and replacing them with his laptop. 

"I know this might sound like we're grasping at straws but I think I know who might be Jinyoung's stalker," said Mark.

"Babe, if you think you know then tell us. I'll believe anything at this point," said Jaebeom and Mark squints in worry.

"That's exactly why I don't know if I should mention this or not, but since you're all looking at me like that," Mark sighed. "It could be Youngjae."

The younger three are speechless until Jackson breaks the silence.

"I don't disbelieve you but we need proof. What've you got?" He asked unphased.

Mark opened his laptop as he explained. "When I gave Jinyoung the letter I took from your journal, I saw Youngjae leave the building. At first, I didn't think much of it until I realized that he was probably watching the whole scene in the cafe. I didn't want to make an empty accusation so I did some research and found out that Youngjae attended our school two years ago. Not only that, but apparently, he was the one who posted the fake journal on the school's website and framed Jackson in the process. After that, he took a leave of absence...and rented out a studio apartment in your hometown."

Jinyoung racks his brain as he tries to remember when he'd ever seen Youngjae at their school or in his class or anywhere near him. Had his stalker always been this close to him? Did Youngjae really hide in plain sight knowing that Jinyoung wouldn't remember him and leeched off his kindness towards him? The hours they spent together drove Jackson to lose faith in his love for him. He would get upset whenever Jackson said the slightest negative thing about Youngjae.

He hugged the boy, pinched his cheeks, and ruffled his hair. He was the little brother he always wanted and was happy to have at his side. To know that that person could have been the one who slept on the floor of his room, sucked on his neck in the middle of the night, and nearly raped him in his own home forms knots in his stomach that unravel and turn into a bitter bile that he needs to get rid of now. Jinyoung all but runs to the bathroom to dispose of the substance in the toilet.

He hasn't eaten anything in the past 24 hours and his body sags to the floor in exhaustion. Jackson is there once again with a washcloth and his caring calloused hands, soothing his back and wiping his face of puke. His small but powerful frame manages to pick up Jinyoung's dead weight until he was able to stand on his own two feet. Jinyoung locks his arms around his neck, feeling that if he dared to let go, he'd be sure to fall apart. Jackson didn't question it and continued to rub Jinyoung's back. After a few minutes, the two return to the dining room and take their seats.

"This isn't going to be enough proof to put him away. We need solid evidence," said Jaebeom. "If we can't get that--,"

"Then we have to find a way to get Youngjae to confess to it himself," Jackson interrupted. 

"How are we supposed to do that?" asked Mark.

"Corner him with the evidence we already have. Tell him that we know what he's done and unless he confesses, we'll send to the big house," Jaebeom suggests.

"That won't work, Beom. If Youngjae's made it this far without being caught, then he's a lot smarter than we're taking him for. He'll see right through us," Mark sighed.

"Not if I do it," Jinyoung spoke for the first time since he was seated and the room falls silent. "Think about it. If Youngjae is my stalker, then won't he be too blinded by want to notice that I'm holding him in a trap?"

"No. You're not doing anything, it's too risky," said Jackson.

"Sseun-ah--,"

"No! Do you really think I'd leave you in the same room with that creep?! It's not happening, Jinyoung. End of story. We'll find another way."

"We wouldn't have had to do this if you had just kept your promise! Since we're in this mess, we might as well see it through to the end. I'll trap Youngjae using the evidence we have. If he falls for it, we're good. But if he doesn't, we're not touching this case ever again. I don't care if I have to lose sleep over it. If Youngjae is stupid enough to get caught in the act, that's when we'll put him away. No earlier. Do you understand me?" said Jinyoung.

There's an unmistakable look of guilt in Jackson's eyes as they look back at him. Jinyoung didn't mean to sound like a dick, not after Jaebeom explained the reason why they didn't want to let this go. But it was Jinyoung's life, his problem, and his choice. He'd go to any measure to make them understand that before they buried him in guilt. Mark breaks the silence.

"I have an idea. It's not foolproof but it might work."

"Let's hear it," said Jinyoung.

"If Jinyoung asks Youngjae the proper questions and he answers them truthfully, we can record it and use it as evidence. Jinyoung will ask Youngjae out to lunch, they'll talk, and Jinyoung will ask the questions. Jaebeom and I will call the police when the time is right and Jackson can be on the scene to make sure that Jinyoung doesn't get hurt," said Mark.

"How will we know when to call the cops?" asked Jaebeom.

"We'll use earpieces. I got them last year but didn't know what to do with them until now," Mark said awkwardly while Jaebeom smiled proudly. "What do you think, Jinyoung?"

Jinyoung thinks for a moment before answering. "It's a solid plan, but we'll have to be meticulous. What questions do you want me to ask him?"

* * *

"Hyung, your phone,"

"In a minute. I have to pass this level,"

"As if you'll win it,"

"Shut up!"

"Hyung, your phone is ringing and it's freaking annoying!"

"Then pick it up, you little prick!"

"Hello? No, it's BamBam. Who is this? Jinyoung?"

"Jinyoung? Give it to me!"

"Geez, calm down!"

"Ssshhh! Sunbae, hi! No, I'm not doing anything right now. Lunch? Really? Yes! Yes, yes sure I'll be there! In an hour? I'll be there in half. Bye, Sunbae!"

"Did he seriously call you?"

"Who is he?"

"Haven't you seen hyung's crush? Some Park Jinyoung guy. He's the junior that busted our stash to the dean,"

"That bastard is the one hyung's been going on about? Ow! What the--?!"

"He's NOT a bastard! Call him that again and I'll do more than punch you. You know I can,"

"Hyung, chill! Geez, you didn't have to hit him!"

"Tell him not to piss me off next time then,"

"Whatever. What'd your Sunbae want?"

"He asked me to meet up with him for lunch at the cafe! He said he had something important to tell me. He sounded so serious, though. Do you think he wants to thank me for finding out who his "stalker" is? Maybe he'll even apologize and ask for a second chance and the two of us will finally be together! Like we were always meant to be,"

"Are you high right now?"

"Want another smack to the face?"

"I'm just asking!" 

"Why would that Sunbae ask you out to lunch? That's not like him,"

"How is "not like him"? Jinyoung Sunbae is perfect, it only makes sense that he'd do something so--,"

"Random?"

"Caring,"

"Nah, dude. Gyeomie's right. Isn't this the Sunbae who treated you like crap after you said that Chinese guy wasn't his type?"

"Hyung, I don't like this. It's way too spontaneous. What if it's a trap?"

"That's not possible,"

"Until three minutes ago, your Sunbae asking you out for lunch was impossible too. Listen to Gyeomie,"

"Fine. I'm listening,"

* * *

 _“Jinyoung, can you hear me?”_ Jackson asks over the earpiece.

"I can hear you but I can't see you. Where are you right now?" asked Jinyoung as he scanned the area before walking into the cafe.

 _"I'm outside on the patio next to the huge window. You can see me if you sit in the seat facing the counter. Youngjae won't though,"_ said Jackson.

Jinyoung makes his way to the table Jackson told him to be at and waits patiently. They lost thirty minutes due to Youngjae's promise of being there in half an hour. If anything, they had to be there first, and luckily they were. The bell on the front door rings and Youngjae struts in, his eyes looking in all directions before landing on Jinyoung and smiling like a kid on Christmas.

It makes Jinyoung feel even worse than he was that morning, considering he got some food in his system before coming. He doesn't think he can ever eat another meal with Youngjae again. The younger man takes his seat, the sickeningly bright smile on his face never wavering, and Jinyoung prays that he can get out of this without spilling his guts.

"I was so surprised when you asked me to meet you here, Sunbae. It's been so long since we've had a meal together. I've missed this so much," said Youngjae, and Jinyoung hopes he's pulling a grin and not a grimace.

"I'm sure you have. It's the least I could do after you've helped me so much," Jinyoung grits. 

A waiter comes to their table and they order their food. Youngjae's eyes didn't look away from Jinyoung once and Jinyoung's skin starts to crawl. Those were the same eyes that watched him as he slept, that were probably a few feet away from him as he walked along the streets of his hometown with his family. No wonder he knew Jaebeom so well. As their food was being prepared, Jinyoung decided to begin the interrogation. 

"Youngjae," he started.

"Yes, Sunbae?" Youngjae perked.

Jinyoung swallowed hard and released a breath before he continued to speak.

"I wanted to apologize for not listening to you when you tried to warn me about Jackson. After those letters, I knew for sure that he was in fact my stalker. I'm sorry it took me so long to come around to admitting it."

Now, Youngjae looks as if someone handed him Christmas.

"Sunbae, you don't need to apologize! I was happy to help you while you were being fooled by that jerk," he beamed.

Jinyoung moves onto phase two. "I just can't believe that you've been trying to warn me about Jackson's corruption since two years ago. The post you made on the school website brought his awful deeds to the light." Jinyoung reaches over and lightly holds Youngjae's cold hand. "That you would do something like that for me makes me feel so special. Thank you so much Youngjae."

The younger man puts his other cold hand above Jinyoung's and squeezes, looking as if on the brink of tears. "You're so very welcome, Sunbae. And of course, you're special. I told you before that if there's no one else in the world who'll appreciate everything that you sacrifice for their happiness, then I will. I'll give everything I am to you," said Youngjae.

 _"We got him. He admitted to posting the journal on the website. This could lead us to get him to admit to forgery too. Keep talking to him, Jinyoung,"_ Mark's voice sounded over the earpiece.

"But something about this whole situation is still bothering me,"

"What about it is bothering you?"

"The journal. How did you find it?" Jinyoung asked.

For the first time since they started talking, Youngjae averts his eyes. "Oh, I just happened to come upon it one day and found your name amongst such horrible things. I didn't know the student but I knew that such a situation had to be handled as soon as possible."

Jinyoung's just about had it with this prick's lies and quickly asks another question.

"But Youngjae, if you did such a good deed, why didn't you tell me to my face? I would have loved to thank you in person. Not only that, but why didn't you tell me you went to this school before? I heard you took a leave of absence, but you never told me who you were. You even call me Sunbae. We must surely be the same age, though, right?"

Youngjae gulps. Visibly. "I was going through some personal issues at the moment. I had to take a break from school to wrap my head around things is all."

"Is that why you couldn't visit me while you were in my hometown?" Jinyoung asks with a plastic smile gracing his face and his jaw set.

"Sunbae, what are you talking about?"

"A friend told me that you stayed in my hometown around the time I also took some time off of school. You must not have known that I lived there obviously...but I knew you were there. I sensed you every night for months until I finally gathered up enough courage to attack you."

Youngjae looks terrified. His eyes are wide with anxiousness as he picks up his vibrating phone. But then his demeanor changed and the scared little boy becomes a man dripping with rage. His eyes are hooded by his lids, making him seem more frightening than any monster in all the horror films Jaebeom's made Jinyoung watch. For the first time since they got here, Jinyoung doesn't feel disgusted and annoyed. He feels afraid.

"Sunbae...what exactly were you and my Sunbaes planning to do to me? Are you trying to frame me by any chance?" Youngjae asks with an arrogant smirk on his boyish features.

Jinyoung’s silence is his answer and he scoffs.

"Wow, Sunbae. You're amazing as always. I didn't expect you to figure this whole thing out...and do something as stupid as trying to frame me. That pisses me off," said Youngjae.

 _"Jinyoung get out of there now. We already called the police, they'll be here any minute,"_ Jaebeom ordered through the earpiece. 

But Jinyoung didn't move. He knew he was going to regret this choice, but if anything, he had to know the reason. Why he was Youngjae's target when he doesn't even remember him from two years ago. Was it a conversation? An act of Jinyoung that Youngjae took the wrong way? Forgetting his fear from earlier, Jinyoung leaned into Youngjae's space and looked him dead in the eyes.

"Why me? Why did you choose me? What did I ever do to you, Youngjae? Tell me the reason. I want--no--I _need_ to understand why you did this to me? Did I do something wrong? Are you holding a grudge against me?" Jinyoung asks, already feeling a lump form in his throat.

Youngjae also breaks boundaries and extends himself into Jinyougn's space. His cold hand gently stroking Jinyoung's cheek as he spoke, leaving the other frozen solid.

"Sunbae, you didn't do anything wrong. You're just my type is all. I only did it to get closer to you. Where you see it as stalking, I see it as protecting you. Protecting what's mine. Because I hate it when people touch what's mine."

Jinyoung didn't notice the syringe until it was planted in his neck and spreading a dizzying substance throughout his body. His vision is the first to react, enlarging and shrinking things in front of him like a funhouse mirror. He needs to get out of here. Did anyone hear him? Can Jackson see him? With what little strength he had, he forced himself to stand, not caring that he knocked the chair down and was most likely forgetting his favorite messenger bag. He has to leave. He has to get to Jackson.

The cold hand is back and it's trapping his wrist in a death grip, pulling him into the arms of the monster he's trying to get away from. It takes Youngjae only a second to pull the earpiece out of his ear and squish it with his foot. Jinyoung's starting to hyperventilate. Youngjae didn't look it but the kid was strong. Or maybe he was too weak to fight back. The drug hits his legs and his knees begin to wobble helplessly. Youngjae throws one of his arms around his shoulders and hoists him up.

He can hear him making excuses to the worried staff members who were watching this whole scenario. Jinyoung wants to scream for help but his tongue becomes lax and his throat dry. His hearing is next as Youngjae leads him out into the parking lot behind the cafe to a small car. Jinyoung is shoved into the cramped back seat while Youngjae makes his way to the driver's seat. He cranks the engine, turning his head to check on Jinyoung and sends more chills down his freezing body with his icy hand against his cheek.

"Don't you worry, Peaches. Everything's gonna be okay, just wait and see,"

* * *

Jackson's felt the need to murder plenty of times. Instances in which jail is the last thing on his mind have occurred to him just as much as they have to anyone else in this world. But none of those past feelings had come onto him as strongly as they did now. It happened when Mark told Jinyoung to leave and the beautiful idiot decided to stay instead, that a random kid dropped into the seat in front of him, blocking his view of Jinyoung.

He was skinny with red hair and a face full of edges with large brown eyes. Jackson swears he's seen him before but he can't even think of a time or place that he has. He chooses to ignore the stranger but then he started talking.

"Isn't weird to be sitting out on the patio in the middle of winter with a microphone in your ear? I thought Gyeomie had strange antics but you, my friend, are much weirder," said the kid. 

And Jackson nearly misses the moment in which the kid just told him his reason for being there. "Gyeomie" could only be short for "Yugyeom" and Yugyeom was one of Youngjae's friends. Could this be the infamous BamBam? If he was, their plan would be finished. It would mean that Youngjae knew what they were planning to do and already had a backup plan on how to get out of this situation unscathed.

Jackson can hear movement and heavy breathing coming from his earpiece before all sound stops and all that's left is a defending screech of the microphone. Jackson stands up and sure enough, Jinyoung is gone and BamBam is smirking up at him. This kid was sent to distract him. Or could he have been sent to stop him from the very beginning? What exactly was Youngjae playing at?

BamBam gets up to leave but Jackson grabs the turdbucket by his collar and pushes him up against a wall with his forearm pressed against his neck.

"Where's Jinyoung, you prick? What did Youngjae do to him?" he grits.

"Why are you messing with me when you should be chasing Youngjae right now? God knows where he's hiding your boyfriend," BamBam mocks him.

"I'm sure He's not the only one who knows. Tell me now or you and your boyfriend will pay the price alongside Youngjae for abetting a criminal."

"That is if you don't want to end up like this."

Both boys turn to see Jaebeom, Mark, and Yugyeom, who was sporting a lovely black eye and bruised lip, walking towards them. BamBam stiffens under Jackson's arm and he raises both hands.

"Fine, we'll tell you! You didn't have to get violent," said BamBam and Yugyeom sucked on his teeth in annoyance.

The police arrived and nonother than detective Go was present at the scene. The six of them head into the cafe and Yugyeom and BamBam are ordered to tell them what happened and what exactly Youngjae's intentions were.

"We only helped him because he said he would pay us. Youngjae's stupid rich and gets to have whatever he wants, no matter who gets run over in the process," said Yugyeom. 

Detective Go took notes as he spoke. "Tell me how this disaster began. What's the whole story?"

"A couple of years ago, we were chilling at Youngjae's when he told us that there was this guy he liked at his school. We didn't pay any attention to it at first, but then he wouldn't stop talking about him. We could already tell he was obsessed. A few months later, he brought us a journal. In that journal were letters to Jinyoung, someone he just so happened to be obsessing over and was writing all sorts of weird crap in a journal about. To say he was unhappy that someone else was writing about _his_ Jinyoung is a grade-A understatement. 

He was thinking of ways to kill the owner of the journal but we helped him decide to just show Jinyoung that the writer was a bad person. We made a copy of the journal in the same handwriting and put all sorts of crap into it then posted it on the school website, framing Jackson instead of Youngjae. When Jinyoung dumped school, Youngjae followed him to his hometown and stalked him there I suppose. In the end, he came back but didn't dare resurface until now," said BamBam.

Jackson's want to strangle the brats in front of him must've rubbed off on Jaebeom because Mark had both their wrists in death grips. Youngjae must've been a spoiled brat from the beginning and his poor Jinyoung got caught in the crosshairs.

Detective Go put his notebook away and exhaled deeply. "Before I lock you both up for the next ten years, tell me where Youngjae is hiding Jinyoung?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry if it’s a little stiff. I haven’t been able to write all year. Ha! the New Year’s joke nobody wanted. I’ll leave. Chapter 17 will hopefully be up a lot sooner than this. Again, so sorry.  
> Peace!


	17. All of Me Loves All of You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha! Made it to the ten-day mark! First finished project in five freaking years, people!! Happy (late) Birthday GOT7!!! (BEST FANDOM I EVER JOINED LIKE EVER). Okay, I know I said there would be fluff and smut but I pulled some of it out to add more plot. The smut is next to nonexistent and the fluff only happens at the end of the chapter. Things to look out for in this chapter is the cameo from EXO, ATEEZ, SF9, BTS, and Stray Kids (I won’t tell you who) and the lesson that I hope I portrayed properly. TRIGGER WARNING!!! There is an attempted rape scene at the beginning of the chapter. If you don’t want to read it, please start reading at the first divider. (It’s that long black line). I hope I did this last chapter/this whole story justice and I hope y’all enjoy it!

Jinyoung gasps as his body jolts into consciousness. How long had he been out? Where were the others? Where was _he_? Feeling had returned to his body and he used the little strength he had to turn his head from left to right, trying to take in his surroundings as best he could. But nothing about the place he was in felt like a place where a kidnapper would hold its victim. In fact, the place looked like a hotel room. An oddly familiar hotel room.

Jinyoung tried to rub his eyes but stops when he realized that his hands are not at his side but rather cuffed to the headboard. His arms were also very much bare, as well as his chest, and his legs. The only thing keeping him from being completely naked was a pair of boxers. Lucky for him the comforter was pulled all the way up to his chest and covered his indecency. The vanilla quilt-like material of the comforter against his exposed skin triggered a memory so fond it could bring tears to his eyes if ever he thought of it.

This was the same blanket he and Jackson were bundled in when they spent their first night together in Jeju. How did he end up with the same blanket...in the bed where the headboard that was currently holding his wrists hostage looked so familiar? Where the tall windows that stretched out across the room had a view of the ocean beating against the shore and the small kitchen tucked away in a safe corner next to the bathroom? No. This couldn't be the same room.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard movement in the small kitchen and someone humming a song he didn't know. A few seconds later, Youngjae strutted out of the kitchen wearing nothing but a black silk robe and laced black boxers. In his hand was a glass of water and a smile that Jinyoung used to call lovely--but now saw as cynical--was splitting his face open. He set the drink down on the nightstand and stroked Jinyoung's cheek with his cold hands, making him shiver.

"It's a good thing you're awake. Now we can play a little before we have to catch our flight," said Youngjae, as if what just came out of his mouth was the most normal thing he'd ever said.

"W-What do you mean b-by fligh-t?" Jinyoung's voice was still hoarse from whatever was in that drug that Youngjae injected into his system. 

Youngjae let out a breathy laugh and smiled again as he continued to stroke his cheek. "I'll tell you when you need to know. For now, I need you to drink this for me so I can hear your pretty voice."

Youngjae took the glass from the stand and tucked a hand under Jinyoung's head--not missing a chance to massage his wavey hair. He put the cup to Jinyoung's lips and the other man mentally kicks himself for drinking it without being sure if it wasn't drugged or not. Much less if it was even water. But it helped his dry throat and he felt like he could finally breathe again. Youngjae used his thumb to wipe up the stray drops of water before setting the cup down along with Jinyoung's head before getting up and heading to the bathroom.

Jinyoung uses the opportunity to sit up as best he can and pulled his knees up to his chest. Instantly regretting it when the blanket slides off and reveals his bare legs. The room is freezing and he can feel his skin tearing every time he pulls on the cuffs. Youngjae walks back into the sleeping area with a black shaving kit bag. He leaves it on the bed before walking to the end of the room where Jinyoung notices another black bag--bigger and heavier looking--sitting in the far corner. Youngjae rummages through it for a few seconds as the anxiousness rises in Jinyoung's bones.

"What are you planning on doing to me?" asked Jinyoung since the total silence was no longer helping his mental state.

Without turning around Yougnjae answered. "Just prepping you for a little fun. I'm gonna make you mine for real after this. Just you wait and see, Peaches." 

Jinyoung began to tremble but it didn't stop him from trying to convince the other man otherwise. He knew that threats wouldn't help him since it seemed like Youngjae had planned this out pretty well. He had informants that must've helped see this plan through and by the looks of it, he must've been from a well-off family. Meaning he was able to control the people he needed with the right amount. No, a threat or any signs of anger wouldn't help in this situation, no matter how much Jinyoung wanted to curse the crap out of him, he had to restrain himself. People like Youngjae weren't to be toyed with.

"Youngjae, why are you doing this to me? My arms hurt, I'm cold, and...and I don't know where I am," said Jinyoung in the most pathetic tone he could muster. 

Youngjae stopped rummaging and slowly turned to look at Jinyoung with honest confusion etched on his face. He spun his finger around the room as he spoke. "You don't know where you are? Really? I picked this room especially for us on purpose," he laughed. "Do you honestly not remember it?"

Jinyoung swallowed his anger before speaking, forcing down the bile that was simmering in his gut with the thought that Youngjae _knew_ he and Jackson were there before. "No. I don't remember it," he subtly grits.

Youngjae tsked and shook his head. "It must mean that that night meant less to you than it did to Jackson. I knew you never loved him."

"That's not true!" Jinyoung couldn't hold it in any longer and found himself panting after his declaration.

Youngjae smirked. "I knew it. I knew you were still trapped under your silly delusions of being in love with that pathetic piece of crap. But don't worry, Peaches. I'll help you come back to your senses and realize that I am and always will be the only one for you."

"And what delusion are you under to make you believe that? Why exactly do you think that I belong to you?" asked Jinyoung.

Youngjae let out a bright laugh that seemed to be mocking Jinyoung. He wiped away a stray tear from his eye as he faced Jinyoung.

"Because we're perfect for each other! You're just my type and I'm yours! I'm Juliet to your Romeo, Jinyoung. Our personalities and preferences are the same and I fit your body type well too. You said so yourself. Or is that another thing you don't remember?" said Youngjae.

"When did I ever say something like that?" asked Jinyoung, already sensing the headache of trying to remember something he never said coming over him. 

Youngjae scoffed as he stood up and pick his phone off the table. He scrolled for a few seconds before walking over to Jinyoung and showing him a paragraph of words he couldn't read. He immediately pulls the phone back, looking a bit embarrassed.

"Sorry. I forgot you can't read without your glasses. Do you remember filling out a dating checklist while we were in our freshman year? The soccer team set it up for everyone as a joke but you took it pretty seriously. Among the other requirements that I've already perfected, the one that stuck out to me the most was number ten. You said that you wanted someone who would put you first." Youngjae was at his side in less than a second and sitting on the bed with a wistful look in his eyes.

"I will always put you first, no matter what." Youngjae puts a hand cold hand on his knee. "I'm not like Jackson who'll only use you as a support system whenever he's having a meltdown. I'll take good care of you Jinyoung, I promise. I lov--,"

"Shut up! Don't you _dare_ finish that sentence. You don't know what love is, Youngjae. You're just obsessed with me, you're not in love with me and I don't care what you do to me. I'll never be in love with you," Jinyoung grits. 

"Why would you say such a horrible lie!" Youngjae shrieks grabbing Jinyoung's jaw and pulling him towards his face making his arms strain against the cuffs.

"Do you know what I went through to fit your perfect type? You owe me this, Peaches."

"Fitting into a type isn't love, Youngjae. You don't fall in love with someone because they're exactly the way you want them to be. You fall in love with them for who _they_ already are," said Jinyoung.

And he meant every word. Falling love with Jackson was the most daunting but riveting experience he ever had in his entire life. Even if he could go back in time and choose Mark, he'd never dream of it. Jackson helped him find himself and understand what it meant to be the one someone could rely on. He experienced emotions he never knew he could express, shared secrets he wouldn't even let Jaebeom know, and shared moments that he wouldn't trade for anything in the whole world.

Jackson wasn't just his boyfriend. He became a part of him, the other half of his very soul. And he loved him. He loved him so much. He's brought out of his thoughts when Youngjae releases his jaw and grabs his ankles instead, dragging him down until he was laying on his back again. Youngjae throws his own robe to the ground and began pulling at the hem of Jinyoung's boxers. Jinyoung manages to land a kick on Youngjae's chest but that's the only one he can land before Youngjae traps his feet under his arm.

"Maybe after we play a little, you'll change your mind. Jackson's never deserved you. He didn't put in the work for you like I did. I'm the only one for you, Jinyoung. I'll prove it to you!" Youngjae yells once again.

Jinyoung is terrified. There's little to nothing keeping his body away from Youngjae right now. The kid could do whatever he wanted to him right now and Jinyoung would be defenseless against him. The others didn't know where he was and Youngjae was doing this to him in _this_ room of all places to prove a point. This place was sacred to Jinyoung and the psychopath in front of him was happy to defame it with his shameless acts.

Jinyoung's boxers are at his knees as Youngjae continues to tug at them determinedly. He screams and kicks as hard as he can but he hits the air. Youngjae's laughing is what makes the tears spring into his eyes and he sobs against his arm to hide his face. His blood is pumping so hard and loud in his ears and he's sure that the explosion-like sound that rings all over the room is the sound of his heart beating out of his chest.

But Youngjae's laughter is turned into animalistic cries of pain. Jinyoung can hear punches landing one after the other and dares to turn and look at what exactly is going on. Through the blur of his tears, he sees another man straddling Youngjae and beating the living crap out of him. Jaebeom. It's his Jaebeom. He feels the bed dip and turns to see Jackson's pretty brown eyes wide with worry as his warm hands cup his cheeks and wipe his tears. Jackson's here. They found him. Jackson's here and Jinyoung is safe.

He can feel his gentle familiar hands pulling his boxers back up and hears him yell something at Mark from across the room. Jaebeom's yelling something at Youngjae and after he mutters an answer, Mark's hands grab the small bag that was on the bed and tosses Jackson a set of keys. Jackson immediately unlocks the cuffs around Jinyoung's wrists and his arms fall onto the bed before he's throwing them around Jackson's neck and sobbing into his shoulder. Jackson's carding fingers through his hair and whispering sweet words in his ear. Jaebeom wraps a blanket around his shoulders and pulls both him and Jackson into a bear hug.

"Get away from him now or I'll stab your brother like I did last time," 

All heads turn to see Youngjae holding Mark against his chest with a knife ready to cut his jugular. Jinyoung can feel Jaebeom's limbs ready to act but he's beaten by the taser that shocks Youngjae to the ground in a writhing mess. Mark escapes and runs into Jaebeom's open arms as they stare in shock at the officer who pulled the trigger. More officers pile in and Youngjae is detained, leaving the four on the bed sighing in relief as they continue to hold a part of Jinyoung in their hands.

* * *

It's been five days since Jinyoung's been in the hospital. His parents came the day after he was admitted--after he and Jaebeom had a long talk about how they were going to break this to them. Since there was no way they were going to let this fly over their heads. His mother cried from the moment she walked into the room until she and his father had to leave to find a place to stay. Jaebeom almost never left his bedside except to use the bathroom and get food.

Even Mark would spend time with him, talking with him, and making sure he and Jaebeom were alright before heading back to his apartment at the end of the day. His mother was always there along with his sister Soyoung doting and harping on him to finish all the food they brought to him. They completely ignored his protests and even got Jaebeom to join their side. His father put on a brave face but Jinyoung knew that every time he turned around it was to wipe a falling tear.

His grandmother and Haeyoung came for the first time two days ago and signed with him for the entire day before his dad came to take them back. It made Jinyoung feel such warmth to know that everyone was worried about him. He felt even more loved. But the one person he wanted to see was the only one he hadn't seen since he was admitted. Jackson still hadn't come to see him. Every text he sent went unread and every call went straight to voicemail. Jinyoung can't even think of anything he could have possibly done to deserve Jackson's cold shoulder at a time like this.

"He's giving you some space. He knows that if he comes here, he'll smother you. He just needs some time to calm down elsewhere," said Mark as he passed him a slice of the apple he was cutting.

Jinyoung took it and nibbled the ends with a pout. "But I want him to smother me. I really...really miss him right now."

Mark held his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Trust me. He'll come around."

Mark said that two days ago and Jackson still hasn't "come around". It only gets worse when Haeyoung tells him that she'll be his lawyer when they take his case to court.

"Noona, you don't expect Jinyoung to actually go through with this, do you?" Jaebeom asks one night with the entire family from his grandmother to little Ahro present in Jinyoung's hospital room. 

"Why not? He's a victim of two whole crimes that that dirty bastard committed to not only him but your freaking boyfriend too!" Haeyoung countered.

"Haeyoung, language. The children are here," their mother hushed. 

Haeyoung sighed and look back at Jinyoung. "Jin-ah, I know this is scary and I know that you don't want to share what happened to you with a bunch of strangers, but if you did, that creep would be put away for a longer period of time. If you don't, his lawyer will probably get him the bare minimum of a sentence. It wouldn't be fair to you after what he put you through. Please, Jin-ah. You have to not only press charges but testify as well."

Jinyoung doesn't know how to respond so he settles it with, "I'll think about it. Can I go home tomorrow? I'm tired of being here and I'm already completely fine."

His parents exchange worried glances before his mother speaks. "We'll check with your therapist in the morning. If she says it's okay, then we'll go back to Seoul tomorrow. We'll stay at Soyoung's. Is that okay?"

Soyoung nods assuredly and one by one, Jinyoung's family members file out of the room. Everyone except Jaebeom, who continued trying to convince him to not get involved in the case so he wouldn't risk exposure. Jinyoung didn't sleep that night. When they got the okay from his therapist to leave the hospital--Jinyoung had to sign a sheet saying he'd find one in Seoul and visit them weekly until they could confirm his mental state--, Jinyoung was ready to spend the week at his sister's house in Seoul and leave Jeju island behind.

But as they were exiting the building, reports swarmed around him like bees to honey. Flashing their heavy expensive gear in his face and asking a million questions at once. Jinyoung was frozen on the steps as microphones and recorders were being shoved into his face and camera lenses the size of his head were staring at him. Even in all the chaos, Jinyoung could still hear the questions he didn't even want to think of answers for ringing in his ears.

"Is it true that you are one of Choi Youngjae's victims?"

"When did he start stalking you?"

"Since you were classmates, how did he approach you?"

"Are you going to take legal action against him?"

"Have you made contact with any of his past victims?"

Past victims? Jinyoung wasn't the only one? Youngjae's done this before? How many people? Were they from their school or total strangers? How many times did he manage to get out of this situation unscathed? Jinyoung knew he must've had a powerful family if it meant that such things would fly over his head so easily. Jaebeom and Haeyoung push past the press while Soyoung fits a mask over Jinyoung's face, leading him to their car and away from the public. As they drove away from the hospital, Jinyoung felt like a piece of his soul had been torn out.

As if she knew, Haeyoung held his hand gave it a loving squeeze. "It's okay. Don't let the press scare you. If you testify, you'll be putting a real end to all the horrible things Youngjae's done. Along with the attempted murder charge, we can put him away for a long time."

Jinyoung knew she was trying to reassure him, but for some reason it only made him feel sicker inside.

* * *

For the first time in a week and two days, Jackson picks up his freaking phone. Jinyoung nearly falls off his bed when he hears his familiar sleep laced voice come on the line. He'll admit that calling Jackson a quarter past midnight was a bit absurd, but he missed his Sseanie so much.

"Sseun-ah. I can't believe you picked up. Were you sleeping?" Jinyoung asks, trying his best not to sound like a clingy teenager.

Jackson yawns. _"No, just resting a bit. I took some extra shifts at the restaurant and got another part-time job. I've been pretty busy."_

"Oh. You were busy with work this whole time?" asked Jinyoung, suddenly feeling awkward around his boyfriend for the first time in a long time. "That's why you couldn't come to see me?"

Jackson doesn't answer for a while before releasing a heavy sigh. _"Yeah. I've been pretty busy. I'll try to drop by tomorrow...or whenever I'm off. Maybe this weekend?"_

Jinyoung can't actually believe he's hearing this right now. Jackson's making up excuses to _avoid_ him. What in the world for? At a time that Jinyoung needs him the most, he's not there to supply any form of comfort. And when did he get a second job?

"Sseunie, I want to see you now. Not this weekend or tomorrow. Right now. Why can't you--,"

 _"Jinyoung, my break is over. I have to go,"_ said Jackson, cutting the line without another word.

Tears prick the back of Jinyoung's eyes but he forces them to stay there. He wasn't going to let it end like this. He deserved an explanation. Mark told him that Jackson wanted to give Jinyoung some space without smothering him. Jinyoung's had all the space he needs and would gladly invite Jackson back into it with open arms. He grabbed his sweatshirt and jacket, raced down the stairs to shuck his shoes on, and ran out the door before anyone said anything. He makes it to the nearest bus stop and boards quickly, not caring that he might have to take a number of buses before he reaches the backstreet.

It takes him an hour but the distance meant nothing to him, so long as Jackson was the destination. As he jumped off of the third bus he took that night, he stood at the lamppost where they shared their first kiss and waits until he sees Jackson coming up the road. The sight alone is enough to make his heart ache. Jackson's cheeks are sunken and he's paler than Jinyoung's ever seen before. His hair is a mess and he's not even wearing a jacket fit for this type of weather. He looks exhausted and it breaks his heart that Jinyoung doesn't know why.

"Sseun-ah," he calls out to him softly.

At the sound of his nickname, Jackson's head shoots up and his tired eyes go comically wide. For a second, it looks as if he's been put in a freeze-frame before he starts making his way to the other with a faster pace.

"Jinyoung, what are you doing here? It's late and cold, you should be at home. Did Jaebeom let you go out like this?" Jackson asks and Jinyoung smiles at his concern. He missed being the center of Jackson's attention.

"No one knows I'm here. Plus, I'm not in the dorms right now. I'm staying at Soyoung noona's house with the rest of my family. They came by a while ago. The kids were disappointed that they couldn't see you," said Jinyoung as he scuffed his shoe on the pavement.

Jackson's brow furrows. "Your entire family's here? Since when?" he asked.

"You would've known if you came to see me even once. I was in the hospital for a week Jackson and you didn't come to see me at all. Do you have any idea what that did to me?" Jinyoung can feel the lump in his throat as he speaks.

"I had stuff to do here. Plus, it would be tiresome to go to Jeju all the time. I was just gonna wait until you came back to Seoul--,"

"What is wrong with you?! I'm your boyfriend who's been in the hospital in another city for an entire week after nearly being raped by my stalker of two years! Not once did you come to see me, not once did you pick up my calls, and you always ignored my texts. So what is it, Jackson? What exactly is wrong with you?!" asked Jinyoung, his hands trembling from the cold and his rage.

Jackson doesn't say anything, just stares into Jinyoung's eyes as if he intended to turn him into stone. After a few seconds of silence, Jackson sighed and lowered his head, looking at his shoes as he spoke.

"Let's break up. We should break up, Jinyoung."

The words pierce Jinyoung's heart like an arrow, knife, and bullet all at once. Causing it to bleed onto the ground and slowly take his life away. He wants to scream. He wants to scream and cry and beat the beautiful idiot who owned his bleeding heart to a pulp for saying such a horrible thing. But he knew that would get him nowhere. No, he needed an explanation. Jackson was obligated to give him one and he'd freeze before leaving without it.

"Why? Why do you think we should break up?" he asks as tears trickle down his face.

Jackson doesn't look up at him and continues to mess with the snow at his feet. "Because. I just don't want to be with you anymore. You make everything so complicated and...and I can't live like that anymore. Let's just go our separate ways, okay?"

"Say that to my face," Jinyoung demands.

Jackson shakes his head.

"Then you don't mean it at all. If you can't say the crapload that just came out of your mouth to my face, then I'll know for a fact that you didn't mean any of it," said Jinyoung.

Jackson doesn't speak for a long time before Jinyoung can hear him sniveling. He looks up at him with large tears falling down his sunken cheeks.

"I don't...want to be with you...anymore. You make my life miserable and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of feeling all these emotions that hurt me every morning when I wake up. I hate feeling responsible. If I break up with you, they'll go away. Because you won't be mine anymore and they won't matter to me anymore. That's why I'm breaking up with you," Jackson declared.

"What exactly are you feeling responsible for?"

"For everything! I let you go to the cafe alone and get drugged by Youngjae. I didn't listen to you when you said that you wanted to put this whole mess behind us and move on. I was being selfish and didn't even think about how it made you feel!"

"Jackson--,"

"If I didn't write those stupid letters...if I didn't write them then Youngjae would've stayed in the shadows. He wouldn't have put you through what he did and you wouldn't have had to go through what you did a week ago. It's all my fault, Jinyoung. All of this is my fault and I'm so tired of being reminded of it whenever you call me or text me. I can't even look at you without wanting to beat the living crap out of myself!" Jackson sobs.

"Jackson, stop! Please, just stop," said Jinyoung as he pulled him against his chest and let the older man cry in the crook of his neck.

Jinyoung feels like an idiot for not predicting that Jackson would blame himself for this mess. He hated it more than anything when Jackson would debase himself so much with such thoughts. He can feel Jackson's hands grip the fabric of his jacket and Jinyoung holds him as close to him as he can. He's pretty sure that Jackson's losing oxygen but at this point, he's willing to pull the older man into his very being. They pull back just enough to see each others' faces, Jinyoung's hands gripping Jackson's shoulders firmly so he can't run away.

"None of this is your fault, Sseun-ah. I promise you. The truth is, Youngjae's been like this from the beginning. I'm not his only victim," Jinyoung explains.

Jackson's eyes grow wide with shock. "How is that possible? How many others were there?"

Jinyoung shakes his head. "I don't know. I haven't checked. What I do know is that none of them testified against him. Haeyoung noona said that guys like him either get the least amount of jail time or get out of going altogether. She said I should press charges...and testify in order to get him a longer sentence...but I don't think I can, Jackson."

Jackson cups Jinyoung's cheeks and wipes his falling tears as he speaks. "You're scared, aren't you?" he asked softly.

"Of course, I'm scared! What if we lose and Youngjae's let back out on the streets? What if Haeyoung noona can't convince the other victims to testify? I don't want to fail and I don't want to do this alone. I _can't_ do this alone, Sseun-ah. I don't think I can live without you anymore, Jackson. I don't want to. So please... please never say that you want to break up with me again. Sseun-ah I'll do anything to make you stay. Just please don't leave me," Jinyoung weeps.

Jackson's arms are around his neck and pulling him into his warmth as his fingers card through his hair. He peppers kisses along Jinyoung's neck and rubs his back soothingly as he comforts the younger man.

"I'm sorry, Nyoung-ah. I didn't mean to hurt you like this. I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I won't leave you alone. Not now or ever again. I promise," said Jackson. He pulled back to cups Jinyoung's face again and connected their lips in a much-needed kiss.

* * *

Out of all the things Jackson loves doing in this entire world, none of them--not even sex with his beyond beautiful partner--can make him as happy as when he's lying in bed with Jinyoung's arms wrapped around him and his hands petting his head. It makes him feel so compact. As if he's found a way to burrow into Jinyoung's shirt pocket right next to his heart and make a home for himself there.

With his face pressed this close to Jinyoung, he can smell the body wash that Jackson bought him the month before, the cologne he always wears--that Jackson even started calling "my boyfriend's scent" whenever he saw it in a store--, and a hint of peanut butter. He must be getting along with his nieces and nephews just fine. When they're like this, Jackson can forget about the craptastic day he's had and indulge in the safety and comfort of his boyfriend's body. But that's the moment he remembers what happened to Jinyoung and immediately starts to pull away.

"Where do you think you're going?" Jinyoung asks, tightening his grip around Jackson's smaller frame.

"I just...I need to go to the bathroom real quick," Jackson lied and tried to wiggle his way out from the actual heaven around him. 

"Jackson, I can touche people now. I've gotten used to it again thanks to therapy. Don't run away. You promised," said Jinyoung, his voice laced with sleep.

Jackson pauses to look up at Jinyoung. "Are you sure? I don't you to be uncomfortable,"

"I'm fine, Sseunie," said Jinyoung.

Jackson smiles and buries his face into Jinyoung's chest again. "How's therapy?" he asks as he starts picking at the dust on Jinyoung's shirt.

"The same. I have to sit down in front of complete stranger and talk about the worst thing that ever happened to me. I hate doing it, but it gives my family peace of mind. That's all I care about at this point," said Jinyoung, taking Jackson's dust-picking hand and intertwining their fingers.

Jackson turns in his hold, lying on his back and using Jinyoung's arm as a pillow so he could play with the hand holding his. "If you don't want to tell a complete stranger, you could always tell me. I'll listen and help as best I can," he said more like a plea than a statement.

Jinyoung chuckles using the hand that Jackson was lying on to pet his head. "Would you?"

Jackson nods vigorously. "It's the least I could do for staying away from you for so long, right?"

Jinyoung sighed before he spoke. "I told her that I didn't want to testify because it would be such a hassle. But I really don't want to because I'm terrified to do it alone. I want to try to reach out to the other victims but I wouldn't know what to say to them. For all we know, Youngjae must've done worse to them than what he did to me. I don't want to get them stuck in this mess again without the assurity of being able to get them back out. I feel like, in the end, the responsibility will fall on me and that scares me even more."

Jackson turns once again to face Jinyoung and finds the other with tear tracks on his face. He wipes them away gently before kissing his lips softly. 

"If you don't want to do it, you don't have to. No one is going to blame you for being scared. I won't and I know for a fact your family won't either. Don't stress yourself out over stuff like this. Remember, as much as we matter to you, you matter to us. If you look after yourself, we'll all be happy," said Jackson, giving his nose a peck that earned him a teary smile from his lover.

* * *

Christmas came too late and left too early in Jinyoung's opinion. As wonderful as it was to have the entire family--plus his amazing boyfriend--with him for the holidays, Jinyoung couldn't shake the fear that was slowly building up inside him with every passing day. He needed to come to a decision on what he intended to do with Youngjae. Time wasn't an issue, it was in fact Jinyoung's courage to do so that was running on empty. As much as it scared him to say it out loud, he knew that he had no choice. Mark and Jaebeom would probably scold him for it later, but he would try his best to stand by his decision.

"I want to testify against Youngjae in court," he said in front of his loved ones once the kids and grandma had gone to bed and the adult drinking hours had begun.

Jaebeom scowled at him from where he sat at the end of the table--with his arm proudly draped over Mark's shoulder. His brothers-in-law lowered their heads and kept drinking, while his parents look as if they were on the brink of going into cardiac arrest. Soyoung looked hurt, Haeyoung was beaming with determination, Mark was trying to get Jaebeom to stop scowling, and Jackson interlocked their fingers from his spot next to him. He uses his other arm to hook Jinyoung's in it and laid his head on his shoulder lovingly.

"Jin-ah," his mother spoke weakly. "I know that you're an adult who can make their own decisions, but are you sure about this, honey? What happens...what happens if you can't face that monster? What if we lose--,"

"That won't happen. I'll make sure of it, mom," said Haeyoung as she took a long swig of beer. "You should cheer your son on and support his choices. This won't be easy though, Jinny. I need to know that you're in this to win. A hundred percent."

Jinyoung could feel Jackson's fingers tighten around his own as if he were transferring his energy onto Jinyoung. 

"Yes, noona. I'm in it to win...as best I can," said Jinyoung.

* * *

The New Year brought as many hopes as it did discouragement. The hopes being that Haeyoung had managed to put together a solid case against Youngjae--who was currently in a cell where he belonged--and they could soon take it to court. The discouragements were the fact that they hadn't been able to convince any of the past five victims to come forward. At this point, Jinyoung felt as if he were truly alone. But thankfully, he had his human energy source by his side, holding his hand--and or any other body part he could reach--to let Jinyoung know he wasn't going anywhere.

Well, this is until about four days ago. Jackson started disappearing again and it made Jinyoung anxious. He never failed to shoot him a quick "I love you" through a text every hour, but not having him next to Jinyoung was becoming more of a trial. One day, after completing more documents with his sister and her lawyer friends--as strange a bunch as she was--Jackson called him and asked him to come to the backstreet.

He swears to give him an earful when he gets there for being so distant over the past few days. He arrives at the restaurant and finds it completely empty. All except for the table in the center of the room where Jackson and five other people Jinyoung didn't know were seated together. When Jackson sees him, he excuses himself and walks over to Jinyoung, grabbing his hands in excitement.

"You came," he whispers.

"Of course I did. But what's going on? Who're these people?" asked Jinyoung.

Jackson's eyes managed to grow wider and he starts shaking with joy.

"Okay, for starters, I had no freaking clue as to what I was doing. I was just grasping at straws here and there, I first thought of threats but threw that out the window, then I thought about rewards but I'm poor as fudge. But then I was thinking about everything they had in common and--,"

"Jackson, who are they?" Jinyoung almost yelled as he took Jackson's face in his hands and tried to get him to refocus.

"They're the past victims. I've been trying to get them to testify alongside you. That's great, right?" said Jackson.

Jinyoung wants to cry out of gratitude and shame. Here he was, worried sick that Jackson was thinking of dumping him again while this beautiful human being was working tirelessly on his case instead. He's about to say something but Jackson drags him to the table before a word can come out. 

"Guys, this is Jinyoung. Jinyoung, this is Choi San, Kim Taehyung, Hwang Hyunjin, Kim Jongdae, and Kang Chan Hee. They're all of Youngjae's past victims, like you," said Jackson. 

Jinyoung bowed and took a seat next to Jackson, taking in the features of the people around him. All of them were beautiful young men, each having a special trait of their own but all sharing the cute and sexy aspect. Maybe Youngjae had a type as well. Jinyoung can feel Jackson elbow his side and he suddenly remembers that he should probably say something to them.

"Uh, thank you all for coming. I really don't know what to say other than that. I know that doing this must be terrifying and that Jackson must have bothered you a ton in order to convince you, but I just want you all to know that I really and truly thank--,"

"I'm not doing it. I can't, I'm sorry," Hyunjin stated flatly.

"Hyunjin-ssi," said Jackson.

"You don't understand. Because of that person, I'm terrified of any kind of outdoor activity. I hardly ever leave my house, I spent my life savings on security systems, and suffer from insomnia. Having to face him again, the very thought of doing so is sending chills up and down my body," said Hyunjin.

"Is it really necessary for all of us to do it? You seem to be the only one who wants to do so. Won't your word be enough?" asked Taehyung.

"That's the thing. There's no guarantee--,"

"If there's no guarantee, why make us do it in the first place?" asked Chan Hee, cutting Jackson off.

"How can we know for sure if this will work? Do you know how long my family and I had to fight against him? His lawyers are monsters and the judge is always one that his family picks. We'll be wasting our time trying to win against him," said San.

"Shut up. All of you," Jongdae suddenly spoke up for the first time, startling the others. "None of our cases is worse than the others. We were all scarred by the bastard and now we have a chance to put him away for the time being. I for one would like to go to sleep at night knowing that he can't reach me ever again instead of wondering whether or not he's watching me. Us being afraid to come forward is what he wants. If we fight back, we may have a chance. Let's take it now before we regret it later on. And trust me, you will."

The room falls completely silent until the front door breaks the ice, revealing Haeyoung who was carrying a stack of folders in her arms. She took in her company and exhaled loudly.

"Okay, then. Shall we begin?"

* * *

The trial is over. The testimonies of each and every victim had been held accountable and Youngjae was sentenced to twenty years in prison. It almost seems too good to be true when Jinyoung and the others are back in their tiny apartment while Youngjae was in a jail cell. The first thing Jinyoung did upon entering was crash to his knees in the living room and sob for an hour with the older men's arms wrapping him securely.

Mark made tea and Jackson took him to bed. What started as gentle kisses to his forehead and cheeks turned into the two of them nearly swallowing each other's tongues. Jinyoung hadn't touched Jackson in weeks and they both missed each other. With the hospital, the therapy, and the trial in the way, physical contact between the two was nonexistent.

But tonight, at this moment, with Jackson's body swallowing Jinyoung's length whole and his moans are ringing in Jinyoung's ear, everything feels like it was worth it. Like the pain they went through was solely to make them stronger and to bring two halves as a whole. As they lay in bed, panting and trembling from overstimulation, they stare into each other's eyes without saying a single word.

Because at this point in their tempestuous relationship, no words are needed. They know full and well how much they mean to each other. The journey they took to get there felt like a dream dreamt decades ago that they've finally been able to wake up from. They're no longer sleeping, but living. No longer crying, but laughing, and no longer two but one.

The months passed by so quickly after that night. School started up again and before they knew it, the seniors were taking their final exams. The four of them put any and every spare moment they had into studying--Jinyoung was mostly helping Jaebeom--as their D day drew closer and closer.

"As soon as these freaking exams are over, we're buying an apartment," Jaebeom declared one night while they ate ramyeon in Mark and Jackson's tiny living room.

"Agreed," Mark and Jackson said in unison and Jinyoung nearly choked on his food.

"Do you both even know what you're getting yourselves into? Why would you want to curse yourselves by living with Jaebeom?" asked Jinyoung, earning himself a kick from his hyung.

"What's that supposed to me?! I'm a joy to be around!" Jaebeom says around a mouthful of noodles.

"Give them a week. You'll all regret this in the end," said Jinyoung.

"But I want to live with you, Nyoungie," said Jackson in the tone that makes Jinyoung weak in the knees and gets Jackson anything he wants from him. "Let's at least try it first. I really want us to have our own room together." Jinyoung chokes for real this time and the older men laugh at him mercilessly.

With the warm weather came graduation for Jackson, Jaebeom, and Mark. It was the first time Jinyoung hated being two years younger than everyone in his crew so much. Jackson comforted him with kisses and set his mortarboard on his head to make him feel better. In an odd way, it helped. After an unhealthy amount of drinking to celebrate their success, the four of them head back to their new apartment for some well-deserved sleep. But the sleeping only lasted for a few hours before Jinyoung awoke to the sound of pots and dishes moving in the kitchen.

Jackson wasn't in bed and Mark and Jaebeom were well on their way to "round two" when he walked past their room and into the kitchen where Jackson was dancing with headphones over his ears. It's the cutest thing Jinyoung's ever seen and it almost makes his headache go away. He walks up to where Jackson is dancing by the sink and wraps his arms around him, gently swaying to the music along with his boyfriend. Jackson pulls the headphones off and kisses Jinyoung's cheek with a loud smack.

"Sleep well, Nyoungie?" asked Jackson.

Jinyoung groaned and wrapped his arms tighter around Jackson's middle. "Would've slept better if you were in bed with me," said Jinyoung.

Jackson stops what he's doing at the sink and fully leans into Jinyoung's embrace. They stay like that for a while, kissing whatever bit of skin they could reach and saying sweet nothings to each other until Jackson slips out of his hold to dry his hands. He doesn't face Jinyoung for a few seconds and the younger was worried that he might have upset him somehow. But Jackson suddenly turns around and pulls Jinyoung into his arms close enough for their stomach to touch but far enough for them to hold eye contact.

"Park Jinyoung, what's your ideal type?" Jackson asked.

Jinyoung blinks wordlessly. "Why are you asking me that? You know that stuff doesn't matter to me anymore."

"I know it doesn't. But if it did, what would it be?"

Jinyoung thinks for only a minute before he answers.

"Wang Jia'er Jackson. The one who wrote me letters, the loud, annoying guy that was always glued to Mark Tuan's hip, my sweet and honest baby who told me that he wanted a relationship in which we held each other. The creative beauty you are, my wonderful brave protector, my crybaby, my soft baby, my sexy baby, and..."

Jinyoung cups Jackson's face and kisses his lips softly before he whispers. "the one I want to spend the rest of my life with."

Jackson pulls back, his eyes wide and shifting from left to right the way they always do when he's excited.

"Nyoungie...are you--?"

"Asking you to marry me? Yes, yes I am. And you'd better say yes. You promised me, remember?" Jinyoung smiles.

Jackson huffs out a laugh as tears start to pool in his lovely brown orbs. He throws his arms around Jinyoung's neck and nearly knocks them both over, chanting "yes" on a loop. Jinyoung holds the man he loves tightly in his arms as the high from finally asking for Jackson's hand settles into his bones. When Jackson comes down, quickly wiping his happy tears as he did, he tilts his head in confusion.

"Where's my ring?" he asked.

It only takes Jinyoung about thirty seconds to remember that he left the ring box in the men's bathroom at the barbeque they went to that evening.

**.o0O _THE END_ O0o.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, sorry. There was no smut. Please don't kill me. 
> 
> A hug freaking thank you to everyone who read, commented, left kudos, and subscribed to this lump of angst and weirdness that I decided to post one day because I was freaking tired of the lack of Jinson fics on this site. They say write what you want to read...I had no idea I would write this, much less that people would actually like it. I hope I can write more, if not better, Jinson's in the future for all you lovely shippers to read, laugh, scream, and cry to. Also, please excuse any mistakes. Until next time!  
> Peace!  
> #GOT7FOREVER #AhgaseForever  
> -Teku


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